Chris finally caught up with Denise backstage before the night's show. "What's this I hear about Time Magazine?"
Denise gave a chuckle, nodding. "I didn't have to do a thing, they came to me. Rosie, I went to her, but you have a fan in her, it didn't take much convincing."
"Time Magazine." Chris repeated. "You sure this isn't a mistake or something?"
"Yeah, AJ said you had a fun reaction to the news." Her face grew serious. "I will need to talk to you before you go on the show. She's bound to ask you what happened in the Caribbean."
"But...I..." Chris stammered.
"We'll talk later, work out what you'll say." Denise quieted her with a shake of her head. "Now's not the time, you have a show to do."
Chris grimaced, looking out towards the stage. The boos and cheers during her dance had continued, if anything, it seemed like they were getting worse. Every night she had her heart ripped out on stage, and it was killing her. How do you consciously not care about something, like Brian said? If you're thinking about it enough to think not to care, aren't you therefore caring? It was enough to drive anyone mad. "I don't know how much more of that I can take."
"You're on Rosie Friday, and the Time article will be out in April. Hopefully this won't be going on for much longer."
"I hope not."
Chris waited backstage, hiding from the view of the fans. If they saw her, they would start booing, and she didn't want that happening while the guys were still singing. She watched AJ dance on stage, reaching down to touch a few hands, the lucky girls screaming their delight in his face. He struck a pose and the lights went out, her cue to take her place. As she walked on stage, the boos started again.
"Good luck, Chrissy." Nick hugged her from behind, suprising her. Chris couldn't help but wonder if he somewhat enjoyed his over protective fans' reaction to her. Every other member of the group had made sure to let her know they did not approve of what was going on, and how sorry they were it was happening. But Nick...who knew what he was thinking. Once upon a time she could read him so well, but lately, he was just a cold stranger who she danced with every night.
She just nodded and held his hand on her hip, ignoring the screams, waiting for the music to begin. They ran through the dance, Chris bumping awkwardly into Kevin at one point in the song, almost taking Howie down with her. Their performance on stage in the song had deteriorated over the last week, and she knew she would be hearing it from Fatima. Finally it was over, and she fled the stage, eager for the relative safety of her hotel room.
************************************
A Day in the Life Of... (Day 164) Winston-Salem
Brian and Chris made their way into rehearsal, finding the rest of the group waiting for them on stage.
"Where ya been?" AJ hollered, pointing to an angry Fatima. "You're late!"
"We are not!" Brian shouted back, jumping up to the stage. He'd forced Chris to go out to lunch with him so they could talk, but she'd refused to open up.
"You guys were just early." Chris dropped her bag on the floor and pulled off her sweatshirt. "Kissing teacher's ass."
"Ass kissing works fine, Chrissy, darlin, you could try it sometime." Fatima purred, waving to the stage. "Now get your ass up there now. You all have been killing my moves lately, I want to see the choreography I came up with on that stage, not some warped lazy ass version of my great moves."
"Sorry." She mumbled and climbed up to the stage. "It's just been kinda hard lately..."
"I'm sure it has been." Fatima waved her hands, bracelets jangling. "But I don't care. I want to see you all dancing your pretty little butts off on stage every night, and I don't care what those fans in the audience are saying. You are here to dance, are you not?" She shot Chris a look to kill. "And don't you dare give me that whiny crap about not being a Backstreet Boy, I'm getting sick of that too. You agreed to do this, nobody forced it on you. So I want to see you do it, understand?"
Chris nodded, eyes wide. Had she been whining that bad lately? God, what had happened to her? She always had the strongest of work ethics, always willing to work as long, as hard as possible until the job was done. When had it all become so hard?
She ran through the routine as Fatima counted out the steps, cringing as she felt her foot come down on Nick's. "Sorry," she mumbled before dancing away, hoping that mistake escaped unnoticed.
"Christen and Nickolas, you both are going to get back here and do that step right." Fatima yelled at both of them, using their full names for emphasis.
Nick rolled his eyes and moved back into position, spinning Chris around his body as the step required, looking up when they completed it perfectly. "Better?"
"Getting there. Now do it again. And again. And again." Fatima clapped her hands. "You don't have plans today, right? Because none of you are leaving until we get this down, only you all can manage to forget dances while performing them every night."
As promised, they did the routine over and over, until they were finally doing it with the same kind of passion Fatima had seen from them on the Rosie O'Donnell show. Chris was able to relax and just dance, without worrying what the fans would be thinking.
At 9pm, the rehearsal was finally declared over, and the crew retired to the hotel. They all collapsed on various chairs and couches in the guys' suite, sprawled out, sweaty and exausted.
"Need food." AJ moaned, his legs over the back of the chair he was sitting on, head towards the ground. "Must feed."
Chris threw the room service menu at AJ. "Pick something, I can call."
"Anything's fine with me." Howie told Chris, "I'm going into my room for a shower, I should be back before the food arrives."
"Ok." She looked around the room. "Anyone else?"
"I'm not hungry, I'm going to go to bed." Kevin waved, and went into his room. He'd been looking very tired lately, haggard, even.
Nick and Brian gave her their orders, and she grabbed the phone. "AJ? Make up your mind yet?" "One of everything?" He looked at her with a grin. "I don't think so."
"Burger. Fries. Beer." He threw the menu back across the room.
Chris placed the call and hung up the phone, laughing. "I don't know why you even bother looking at a menu, you just order the same stuff everytime."
"He always thinks he'll order something different, but he never does." Brian called from the television, where he was currently playing Nick in some racing game or another.
"Hey, if it ain't broke..." AJ shrugged.
"You know, I had a friend once who actually ended up with too much iron in his blood because he had a burger every day." Chris said seriously.
"That's not bad, right?" AJ looked at her, eyebrow raised.
"Sure it's bad.. He went to give blood, was told he couldn't. All because of burgers," she shook her head solemly.
"Death by burger!" Nick laughed. "I dunno Bone, I think if it was going to happen to you, it would have already."
"Shaddup, squirt." AJ growled.
"Squirt?" Nick laughed, standing up to his full height. "Who you calling squirt, shorty?"
"Oh, them be fighting words." AJ cackled, jumping up and facing Nick, who was a good 5-7 inches taller than him. "You may be tall, Nicky, but you'll always be my baby."
Nick tackled AJ and took him to the floor, Brian and Chris watching, laughing.
AJ howled as Nick squirmed out of his grasp, got up, and grabbed a pair of scissors and his favorite cowboy hat, threatening to destroy the beloved hat. "Noooo, not the hat!"
"It's good to see Nick acting something like himself again," Brian said quietly to Chris.
Chris just nodded, watching the scene unfold before her. "Oh no, Nick's touching the hat."
"He's in for it now." Brian agreed.
They both watched as AJ took Nick down, cowboy hat flying across the room The two tumbled around on the floor until the food came. When the smell of dinner hit them, they both jumped up and ran to the room service table, the previous argument forgotten, and the precious hat safe and sound.
Brian banged on the door to Howie's room, but there was no answer. "Guess he fell alseep?" He returned to the table, "more food for us, then!"
The group ate a quiet meal, making small talk. Nick and AJ seemed to have worn themselves out with their fighting earlier, Brian was trying not to show how much he missed Leighanne, and Chris was, well, just not feeling like herself.
Chris sat back and sipped her coffee, muscles sore, but her stomach full. "Fatima was mad at me tonight, wasn't she."
AJ shook his head. "Naw, that's just the way she makes us work, she gets all angry and intimidating."
"Have I really been that bad lately?" Chris couldn't help but look at Nick as she asked the question.
Nick just returned to the Playstation without a glance in her direction, muttering something about beating Brian's score.
"You've been upset, Chris, it's only natural." Brian reassured her. "We're used to this kind of life, you're not, it only makes sense you'd have a hard time dealing with it."
"Hell, WE have a hard time dealing with it." AJ laughed.
"I don't mean to..."
Brian hugged her before she could get another word out. "Don't worry about it, Chris." He knew it had to be hard on her, every time she saw a fan, she would tense up in fear. The things they said right to her face about Nick....it was awful.
Chris pushed him away and stood up. She knew if she said anything more, it would just include more complaining, and she'd done enough of that for the night. "I'm going to take a shower and go to bed, I'll see you guys tomorrow." She hugged Brian and AJ goodnight, and turned to leave, her hand on the doorknob.
"Chris," Nick's voice called after her softly. "I'm sorry."
Chris felt tears come to her eyes and shook her head. "Too little, too late, Carter," she whispered, and left.
******************************************************
"Alright, Nick, that's enough." Brian snapped when the door closed behind Chris.
"Enough what?" Nick grumbled, eyes fixed on the television in front of him
"I'm sorry?" Brian said sarcastically. "You ignore her for a month straight, then tell her you're sorry, to her back? What is wrong with you?"
"Nothing."
"You know, here I was, going around telling everyone how much Nicky's grown up, how adult he's been acting, how proud I am of him. We all have been. And meanwhile, you seem to have lost about 10 years right in front of our eyes. Even Aaron has better sense than you right now."
"I don't know what you're talking about." Nick looked at AJ for support, who just raised his hands helplessly.
"Leave me out of this, man, I'm going to bed." AJ knew better than to get in the middle of an argument between the two. He left them glaring at each other, hoping they would work things out.
Brian walked over to the television and turned it off, unplugging the console from the set. "Nick, it's what, February 28th? Something like that. Just two months ago you were telling me how much you cared about Chris. She's getting harassed nightly because of what happened between the two of you, and you've only made it worse by treating her so badly. I bet you haven't said two words to her since we got back from the Caribbean."
"I tried, once." Nick protested.
"Oh yeah, I saw that on the show." Brian shook his head. "You talk to her for 2 minutes, then try to kiss her. Swift move, Nicky."
"I was drunk."
"Drinking had nothing to do with it, you knew better. You don't treat someone you care about like this, Nick!"
"Maybe I don't care about her, then." Nick stood up. "I'm going to bed."
"No you're not." Brian yanked him back down. "Maybe you don't care about her? You think I don't see you staring at her when you think she's not looking? She may think you don't like her, but don't you forget for a second how well I know you. Why are you acting like this?"
"Like what?" Nick said angrily.
"You are hurting someone you care about every day, Nick. She's getting further hurt every night when she steps out on that stage. She desperately wants to change how the fans think, but you're the only one who can really do that. And as long as you ignore her like this, you know what people are going to think."
Nick shrugged, "not my problem."
Brian stared at his friend. He couldn't believe what he was hearing...this wasn't the Nick he knew. "You created the problem, it's yours to fix."
"Tour will be over soon, anyway."
"June, Nick. It's almost March. That's not soon, you're not getting rid of her quite that quickly." Brian couldn't keep the sneer from his voice. "Your one shot at a mature relationship, and you blow it."
"Relationship?" Nick spun around to glare at Brian. "What kind of relationship were we going to have? Are you forgetting why she's here? To put my life on television, Brian. What kind of a girlfriend is that? What kind of a relationship is that?"
"Maybe at first, Nick, but you know she sees you as more than just a story."
"Bullshit." He spat out, his voice harsh. "You've seen the stuff they've been airing about me. Not one thing spared, my whole life has been on that goddamn show. So the fans hate her. Serves her right."
"For what, for falling in love with you?" Brian's eyes grew wide in mock horror. "How dare she care about you, Nick. I didn't see you complaining too much in the Caribbean about how much she cared." He felt bad for saying the words the second they left his mouth. Mean, but it had to be said.
Nick gave Brian a hurt look. "That was different."
"But why?"
"Because the cameras were off!" Nick shouted. "Jesus Brian, why can't you see? She doesn't want me on camera. What the hell else am I supposed to do but ignore her? I can't be around her and not touch her!" His voice broke at the end and he sat down, head in his hands.
"Talk to her, Nick, you're assuming she feels all these things. You two were so close before, you said you could talk to her about anything."
"That was before. It hurts too much." Nick's blue eyes were bright as he shook his head. "I don't know why it all has to hurt so much."
"That's love, Nicky."
"What you and Leighanne have is love." Nick argued. "I don't have anything."
"You could, if you'd get your head out of your ass and talk to her."
"She could talk to me, you know."
"Because you've been oh so friendly and open to her? I'm amazed she can stand being in the same room as you, the way you've treated her. You owe her a major apology, a real one, not that junk you just threw at her now."
"For what?"
"For the way you've treated her. For the way you've made things worse. For letting her think you lied to her in the Caribbean."
"Lied to her?" Nick's head came up and he stared at Brian. "Why would she think I lied to her?"
"What did you tell her?"
Nick looked at the ground, thinking. "I told her I loved her."
Brian groaned. He knew it. Chris had refused to tell him what Nick had said, just that she'd come to the conclusion that everything he'd told her had been a lie. "Nick, you can't tell a girl you love her, and then just start ignoring her."
"I wasn't lying."
"I know."
"I just didn't know what else to do, once we got back. I still don't know what to do."
"That's what friends are for, Nick, we'll figure this out." Brian hugged his friend tight. "One way or another, Frack, we'll fix this."
****************************************************
A Day in the Life Of... (Day 167) New York City
"Ok, I don't quite get this." Howie stood in the studio in a pair of black boxer shorts, looking at the set. "How come none of us are dressed?"
The guys were all standing around in the clothes they'd been put in for the photoshoot, which consisted of nothing but a pair of silk boxers, for each of them.
"The article's called 'In Bed with the Backstreet Boys,'" Kevin explained. "See the set?"
"That's a really big bed, Kev. We gotta get our picture taken in bed?" Nick looked at him curiously.
"That's what it looks like, Frack." Brian laughed. "This is going to be interesting."
Chris walked out of the wardrobe room, her eyes lighting up when she saw all 5 of the guys standing around half-naked. "Now this I can handle."
"Hey! How come she gets to wear clothes?" Nick pointed to Chris.
"Just lucky, I guess." Chris grinned. She was wearing a set of flannel pajamas and a pair of brand new Mickey slippers. "We're all wearing what we sleep in, looks like. I'd heard they stopped making Mickey slippers, these are awesome." She stared at her feet for a second, then noticed large bed on the set. "Um, are we going to be in that?"
The photographer nodded. "You all here?"
we can't wear a bit...more?"
"Wouldn't work otherwise." The photographer waved his hands, and assistants seemed to come out of thin air, leading each of them to their spot on the bed.
Chris couldn't stop laughing as they were all positioned, her lying down in the middle, the 5 guys sprawled out around her. "This is going to be a fun shoot."
AJ tickled the back of her knee from his position down by her legs. "You keep saying that, I'm going to do this to you all day."
"Don't you dare." Chris wiggled her leg away from AJ, getting a glare from a photographer's assistant. "Oops."
"Gotta stay in place." Nick said softly. He'd been placed right next to her, their arms around each other, snuggled tight. Just like they'd used to sleep together....it felt like so long ago now.
Chris nodded and leaned her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat, and remembered how comforting that sound once was. She felt his arms tighten around her back, and looked up. "What?" She could distantly hear the photographer start snapping away, Brian making jokes about Nicky stealing the girl from all of them, but her attention was only on one thing. A set of blue eyes that were looking into hers with more sincerity than she'd seen in a long time.
"I'm so sorry, for everything. I know just saying that isn't nearly enough, but it's all I know how to do." He whispered, bending his head close to hers.
She pulled away slightly, prompting a groan when she nearly rolled over onto Kevin on the other side of her. "Sorry," she moved back towards Nick. "Why now?"
"You can't go anywhere, gotta listen to me." He grinned, pulling her close again. "And we're not wearing microphones."
Chris laughed, leave it to Nick. "You thought about this, didn't you."
"Yeah." He sighed and rubbed her back, shooting a quick grin at the photographer still snapping away. "I don't know why I acted like I did, Chris, you were a really good friend, and I went and fucked it all up." He turned her head so she was looking into his eyes, expression serious. "I don't have very many friends, I kinda really need to keep the ones I have, ya know? I never meant to mess it up. Can we be friends again? Please? I really do need you. I never meant to hurt you, and you've gotta believe I never lied to you."
Chris looked at him and sighed. He didn't get it, did he....he'd told her he'd never hurt her. Whether or not he meant to do it, he still did. That fact changed everything. They couldn't ever be the way they had been again, that much was clear. But being enemies wasn't helping anyone. "I guess, Nicky." She hugged him, accidentally kicking Howie in the process. "Sorry."
Nick kissed her forehead and smiled. "Now, can I start teasing you about being in bed with 5 naked men?"
Chris looked at the camera and smiled wide, "Only if you want to get tickled. A lot."
"Please no, I'd rather not get kicked again," Howie told them with a grin, looking up from his spot by Chris' rear.
They rolled around on the bed, making faces at the camera. AJ grabbing parts of Chris' body, being rewarded by a smack, Brian putting his legs over everyone at one point, his ankles in Kevin's face, his butt on Howie's back, just goofing around, trying to have some fun with the shoot.
"We almost done?" Kevin asked. "No offense, anyone, but I'm getting hot."
Chris agreed, "It's getting a little warm, yeah." She was getting a little too comfortable snuggled up with Nick. The other 4 guys were there, but the only one she really felt, really could seem to think about, was him. She could feel the warmth of his body against hers through the flannel, the heat radiating off his skin. It felt so good... She shook her head and looked around. Hopefully this would be over soon, everyone was getting restless.
"I think we should all tickle Nick." Brian announced, sitting up. Ignoring the photographer's yell, he pulled Nick away from Chris and jumped on him.
Chris quickly scrambled out of the way as AJ and Kevin joined in, Nick laughing and begging them to stop. "Now there's a picture." She laughed. 4 half-naked guys wrestling on a bed. Not bad.
Howie sat next to her, watching. "I think the photoshoot's over."
She watched as Nick fell off the bed, laughing hysterically. The photographer waved his arms around and walked away, giving up. "Yeah, I think so too." Nick looked up at her with a goofy grin, pushing himself back up. "They attacked me."
"I saw." Chris couldn't help it...she had to point it out... "Your boxers are falling down."
Nick looked down and quickly pulled up the offending boxers, his face turning red. "I should go get dressed."
She laughed. "I bet your fans would love it if you all just walked outside like this, though."
"Can't do that, Nicky's tummy-shy." Brian pushed Nick towards the wardrobe room, laughing. "Let's go, Frack, you can talk to Chrissy later."
"We should all hang out tonight, been a while since we've done that. " AJ looked at everyone pointedly. "Would be good just to chill."
"We don't have a suite this time though, and most of our hotel rooms are kinda small," Kevin thought out loud.
"We can hang out at my apartment," Chris offered. Why not, right? She certainly had enough space, and a night at home would be nice. "Could rent some movies, just relax."
"You're not cooking again, right?" Kevin joked.
"Hey, you said you liked my cooking." Chris made a hurt face. "But no, I was thinking we could just order in pizza, get some beer, nice and easy."
"Sounds good to me." Howie agreed. "It'd be cool just to have a quiet night off."
"So it's settled, my apartment, tonight." Chris grinned. "You guys trust me to get the movies?"
"NO!" Nick, AJ and Brian all shouted at the same time, then burst into laughter.
"Not that your judgment is that bad, or anything," Brian explained with a grin. "But you never know..."
"Yeah, whatever. I'll wait for you guys to come over before going to the video store, then."
"Tell Julia to come too." Brian suggested.
"Will do." Chris took one last look at all of the guys standing around her. "I can't wait to see the pictures from this shoot."
"I still can't believe you got to wear clothes." Nick grumbled.
"I rather liked it. I'll see you guys tonight," she waved, and went to change back into her clothes.
Nick watched Chris walk off with a smile on his face. "She's talking to me again."
"I heard. We all heard, Nick." Brian laughed. "Only you could get away with something like that, you know?"
"What?" He asked, eyes wide.
"Apologizing to a girl when she's smushed into your chest like that."
"Just seemed like the perfect time." Nick explained. "No microphones, no chance of her walking away..."
"As I said, I heard." Brian grinned. "I'm glad you two are talking again."
"There's still something wrong," Nick confessed. "If you heard the whole conversation, then I guess you heard that too. I just don't know what."
"She thinks you lied to her." Brian reminded him gently.
"I didn't! I told her that!" Nick protested. "I would never have lied to her."
"She thinks you did, Nick, that's all that matters. You're gonna have to get her to trust you again."
Nick nodded, his resolve set. "I will, then. I want her back, I know that now."
Brian hugged Nick tight. The younger man still had some growing up to do before he would get Chris back, but at least he was on the right track. "You'll get her back. Just give it time."
"Time sucks." Nick muttered, then laughed as he realized how stupid he sounded. "That was another one of those Aaron moments, huh."
"Nice that you're noticing them on your own now."
"I'm trying." He ran his hand through his hair and let out a deep sigh. "For Chris, I'm trying."
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