I could have cried a million tears for the pain in my heart at having found Nick and lost him so quickly. I could have cried till my last day the pain was that strong. I could have cried forever, but I didn’t cry at all.
I wanted him so much, his smile, his laughter, his touch, his voice. I wanted him to show up on my doorstep and promise he would be mine till my time was up. I wanted his heart to take the chance at loving me despite the pain that would come. I wanted him, but I couldn’t force him to make a decision he couldn’t live with.
I had one perfect day with him, a memory that would live bright and beautiful in my heart forever. I had found my completion with Nick, with his smile and his heart. I could have been forever in his heart if he had taken that chance in loving me. He hadn’t though.
I didn’t hate him for that, didn’t regret his choice. He was scared and hurt. Maybe this was what was meant to be. Maybe I was only supposed to have that single magical day. That was fine. At least I had that memory and I would treasure it always. Yet another gift I had discovered.
A week went by, two weeks went by. Three weeks later I was walking home down the street that had become home to me. A group of young girls were on the sidewalk playing jump rope as I approached them. Laughing I jumped into the middle of their double dutch game. I sang along with the little chant that brought back memories of childhood jump rope games and a million other memories that followed those.
Jumping free of the ropes finally, I laughed as I waved good-bye and continued home. That’s when I saw him sitting on the steps in front of my door. I felt my heart skip a beat at the sight of him, thankful for the chance to see those beautiful blue eyes again.
“Hey, sunshine. What brings you to this neck of the woods?” I asked as I approached him. I kissed his cheek and smiled as I unlocked the door. “Want to come in?” He nodded and followed me inside. “So, you came to admire the place or did you want to talk to me?” I teased, smiling at him.
“You aren’t angry with me?” he asked finally.
“No, why would I be?”
“Because I just let you go, because I was too scared to hold on to you,” he answered.
“Why waste the time and energy? Besides, you did just say you were scared. I can’t be angry with your fear,” I said, sitting next to him.
“Are you real or have I fallen in love with an illusion?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight?” I asked in return.
“I’m starting to think I believe in everything,” he answered.
“Then I am as real as you believe I am.”
“No anger, no hatred, nothing against me?”
“No anger, no hatred, nothing against you. Why waste the emotion when it’s the wrong emotion? So what brings you to me again, sunshine? No water fountains to rescue me from this time,” I teased.
“I thought maybe I would jump in again though not a water fountain,” he answered, smiling.
“Really? What are you jumping into, Nick?”
“A lifetime of loving you. I don’t know how I’ll live without you when the time comes, Riley, but for now, for today and for every day you love me I will love you.”
“No more fear?”
“Not enough time to be scared. I have to spend the rest of my life finding magic.”
“I knew you were a smart man,” I said, smiling.
“Only because I found this amazing woman with the secrets to the world,” he answered, kissing me.
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