I was getting use to the feel of waking up in Brian’s arms. This was the third time and it felt all too natural. I belonged there, in his arms, next to his heart. I had found my place. There was just one problem. Someone else was already in line to hold that place forever.
And I had betrayed her. I had betrayed Leighanne and Brian and myself in that single act. A thousand wrong choices in the aftermath of a beautiful moment.
The guilt rushed at me as if the floodgates had opened and nothing could stop it. It overwhelmed me and I felt myself drowning in it. Then slowly I raised my eyes to look up at Brian. His gentle blue eyes stared down at me in fear, doubt, and devotion.
“Are you sorry?” he asked softly.
“I should be. God, knows I should be running for the door swearing I’ll never come near you again and begging to be forgiven,” I answered.
“But,” he urged.
“But I’m not. As much as I should be and maybe as much as I want to be I’m not and I can’t be. I’ve never felt like this before and I don’t want to give it up. Even if you do belong to someone else,” I confessed.
“Good,” he whispered.
“No, it’s not. Brian, this isn’t you. Cheating on the woman you’re engaged to, sleeping with someone you barely know. This isn’t you.”
“I know your heart and I know your soul. You’ve told me your darkest secrets and you’ve shared with me the people you love. I know everything I need to know to love you. And what if I didn’t belong to someone else anymore?” he asked.
“What?” I demanded, sitting upright and looking at him. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying I don’t think Leighanne and I are meant to be. If we were you wouldn’t have come to me. You wouldn’t be in this bed in my arms right now. If our love was that strong you wouldn’t have stolen my heart and I wouldn’t want to spend the rest of my life discovering every secret place on your body,” he answered, his hands running up the inside of my thigh.
“Brian, tell me you aren’t serious. I can live if this is a once in a lifetime thing but if this hurts Leighanne because you leave her I won’t be able to live with myself,” I said, trying to ignore the warm the path of his hand left behind.
“Ryder, Leigh and I haven’t been the same in a long time. Since before this stalker thing started. She’s a little more distance, she stays gone more often. We love each other, we always will but I don’t think either one of us is in love anymore.”
“But you don’t know that. You don’t know what’s in her heart till you talk to her,” I argued.
“How can I talk to her when she’s never home, Ryder?”
“Please, Brian. No more talk about love and forever until you’ve spoken with Leighanne. I don’t want her hurt. Not even if it means getting what I want most.”
“What do you want most, Ryder?” he asked, pulling me back gently and leaning over me.
“You. I want you, Brian,” I moaned as his lips moved across my neck.
That was my last coherent thought as I drifted into ecstasy.
Links to other sites on the Web
Chapter 28
Back to Fan Fiction Index
Get your own Free Home Page