~Seven months earlier~
Ashley sat curled up on the couch in her living room absorbed in a novel that she had bought earlier in the week when her doorbell rang, startling her. As she rose from the couch and walked through the darkened foyer of her beach house the door bell continued to ring, not once, not twice, but repeatedly until she swung open the door. A smile spread across her beautiful features at the sight of the person standing in front of her.
"Nicky!" she exclaimed throwing her arms around her best friend.
"Hey, Brown Eyes," Nick returned her embrace, lifting her off the ground and using the nickname he had given her a long time ago.
"I didn't think you were going to be in until next week," Ashley asked, leading him into the house after he had placed her gently back on her feet.
"Things wrapped up before we thought they would and we got an early flight home," Nick answered. His band, the Backstreet Boys had been over in Switzerland recording for their new album sporadically for the past two months and Ashley had barely seen him during that time.
"When did you get in?" Ashley asked as they sat down on the couch in her living room.
"I came straight here from the airport."
"Nick, you must be exhausted!" Ashley exclaimed.
"I'm fine, Brown Eyes," Nick flashed her a tired smile, "Still worrying about me, huh?"
"Nick, you know you don't get enough sleep and you can't tell me you do because I've traveled with you guys before. So stop lying to me about being tired," Ashley scolded him softly.
Nick threw his hands up in resignation, "All right, all right. Of course I'm tired, but it's not stopping me from seeing you."
"Okay, but promise me you'll get some sleep while you're off."
"I will, you know I will," Nick promised, bringing her hand to his lips and kissing it softly.
"Thank you, Nicky," Ashley's eyes clouded over momentarily, "It's just that I miss you when you're gone and I worry about you."
"You think I don't miss you?" Nick's eyes filled with concern.
"No, I know that you miss me, it's just that sometimes I don't think you remember it until you come home. I mean you're so busy with concerts, and interviews, and the other guys and your fans that I wonder if I ever even cross your mind," Ashley admitted shyly.
"How could you even think that? You're one of the most important people in my life, Ashley," Nick ran his fingers through his short blonde locks, "I mean I know it's hard on you being over here, but I'm the one that's missing out on everyone's lives, especially now that my whole family moved to L.A. without me. I don't even know what grade Leslie's in or who Angel's best friend is and Aaron grows a foot taller every time I see him. And I know for a fact that B.J.'s dating guys that are replicas of A.J. and I should be there to play the protective older brother, but I can't, because I'm not there and it hurts to think of their lives and your life going on as if I were never here in the first place."
Ashley touched his hand with her own, "I'm sorry, Nick. I didn't mean to get upset you. But believe me, we're not living our lives as if you weren't ever here. There's not an hour that doesn't go by that I don't think about you or see something that reminds me of you. I just miss you."
"Well, then trust me when I tell you that I think about you and my family constantly. It's what keeps me going," Nick looked bashfully away from her, always quick to conceal his emotions.
"Let's not think about you being away right now, okay?" Ashley said and continued after he nodded in agreement, "But I do want you to promise me one thing."
"Anything. You name it."
"I want you and I to go out on your boat, just like we used to and spend a whole weekend out there."
Nick smiled, "You just name the time."
His gaze averted around the room and rested on a picture placed on the coffee table beside Ashley. He reached around her and picked up the photograph. It was of Ashley wrapped in the arms of a guy that Nick didn't recognize, "Who's this guy you're with?"
Ashley leaned up against Nick's arm and looked at the picture frame, "That's Preston Vanderbilt. I started dating him when you went away to Europe. My mother has luncheon with his mother every week at the country club and they arranged for us to meet."
"Why didn't you tell me about him?" Nick asked, placing the picture back in its original spot.
"It just didn't seem important."
"So I guess it's not serious?" Nick inquired.
Ashley quickly took her eyes away from his soul-searching gaze and unreadable emotions passed across her face.
"Brown Eyes?" Nick urged gently.
"He asked me to marry him last night."
Nick held back his shock and swallowed before he spoke, "And you said no, right?"
Ashley finally met his gaze, "I told him I needed to think about it."
"What?!" Surprise was evident all over his face, "You're not even one year into nursing school! You can't marry this guy!"
"I'm dropping out of nursing school, Nick. Preston is VP of his father's department store chain and he'll inherit it all some day. He graduated from Stanford, Nick. He can take care of me," it looked as though Ashley's eyes were filling up with tears and she looked away from Nick again, "And he doesn't necessarily want his wife to work, so I told him that I would drop out for him."
Nick tried to get her to meet his gaze, but she wouldn't so he knelt down in front of the couch and forced her to look at him, "I'm not going to let you drop out of nursing school. Ever since we were kids you've dreamed of being a nurse and caring for other people. You're perfect for that and I'm not going to let you lose your dream."
"I can take care of people in other ways, Nick, not just in the hospital."
"Don't give me that. You always swore you would never let some guy force his way into your life and try to run it for you and that's exactly what you're doing," Nick ran his finger along her arm, "Are you going to say yes to him?"
"Yes and I've already made up my mind, Nick so there's nothing you can do about it."
Frustration took over Nick's handsome features, "Does he make you happy?"
"What kind of question is that, Nick?"
"I said, does he make you happy?"
"Of course he makes me happy!" Ashley answered, frustration becoming evident in her own voice.
"Does he make you laugh?" Nick demanded.
"Why are you asking me this kind of stuff?"
"Do you smile every time you see him?"
"Stop it, Nick!"
"Do you think about him every second that you're not with him?"
"How dare you come into my house and do this!"
"They're very simple questions, Ashley. A simple yes or no would suffice, but for some reason you can't answer me," Nick said smartly.
"You're interrogating me, Nick! How am I supposed to answer you when you shoot one question right after another."
"Fine. Then answer one question for me. Just one."
"Fine. Go ahead."
Nick was silent for a moment, not meeting her gaze. Then he looked up, locking his eyes with hers, "Are you in love with him?"
Ashley sighed and stood up from the couch, moving away from him and walked out onto the patio over-looking the large expanse of the Atlantic Ocean. Nick followed her and stood close behind her as she stared over the rail, "You said you would answer my question." Ashley sighed softly and turned around to face him. He saw tears in her eyes, "I'm not sure I even know what love is, Nick. This way, by marrying Preston I'll never have to worry about finding out."
"How," Nick began slowly, drawing out his words, "Can you marry someone you don't even know if you love?"
"I don't know if I love him or not, Nick! Maybe I do, maybe I don't. I've never been in love so I don't know what it feels like. It's not your place to tell me whether or not I love him."
"If you loved this guy you would know it. You can't marry someone who you don't even know how you feel about. I don't think falling in love is something you can mistake."
"How would you even know what love is, Nick? How can you stand here and preach to me about this when you can't even keep a girlfriend for more than two weeks?!" Ashley said, and instantly regretted it. Nick had never been able to keep a stable relationship because he was away so much. He always fell hard for a girl and then when she realized what being with him would be like, she left him brokenhearted. It was a senstive subject for him, and Ashley, being his best friend, knew it. Nick was silent for a moment, the hurt that her words had caused evident on his face as he looked out at the waves crashing up on shore.
Finally he spoke, "You have no right to say that to me. All I'm trying to do is look out for you."
"This is not your place, Nick. My life is none of your business."
A incredulous look crossed Nick's face and his voice rose, "None of my business? You're saying that this is none of my business?! Our whole lives you have been my business. Who did you come to when you had a problem? Who did you come to when some guy broke your heart? Whose shoulder did you cry on when your parents ignored you? Me. You came to me, so don't try and close me out of this and don't you dare tell me that it's none of my business because you know it is." Nick knew he should stop but he didn't, "Your little rich girl life has left you incredibly insecure and the only reason you don't know if you love Preston or not is because you don't even know what love is. Nobody, even your parents have ever shown it to you."
"Get out, Nick!" Ashley yelled, "I want you to get out of my house!"
"You can yell at me all you want, Ashley, but it won't change anything!"
The tears that had brimmed in the bottom of her eyes spilled over, "You don't know the first thing about my life, Nick. All our friendship has ever been about was you. I have bent over backwards for you time and time again. I've flown halfway around the world for you. I've taken phone calls at three and four o'clock in the morning because you couldn't remember what time zone you were in. The only reason you don't want me to marry Preston is because it will take away from your precious time with me. Because I won't be at your beck and call anymore. Because there will be someone in my life besides you!" Ashley stopped, knowing that her words had hurt Nick more than he had even dreamed of hurting her. He didn't say anything. His eyes empty and his mouth closed, heturned on his heel and walked back into the house.
"Wait, Nick, where are you going?!" Ashley ran after him.
Nick opened the front door and stopped for a second, "It's none of your fucking business."
He walked out, letting the door slam behind him, rattling every window
in the
house.
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