Ashley stood outside on the portico of the home of JIVE Record’s CEO and watched the New Year’s Eve party that was taking place inside the ostentatious home, that was much too big for her taste and reminded her too much of Preston’s house. She glimpsed Nick moving in between the sea of partygoers, carrying two glasses of champagne. Ashley saw him pause to talk to Brian, Howie, Claudia, and Leighanne, knowing that he was asking where she had gone. Brian pointed towards the set of French doors that she had used to step outside. It’s not that the party hadn’t been fun; just that Ashley hadn’t been much in the mood to celebrate. She wished that she had been in a better mood. It wasn’t every night that a new millennium began and her best friend could be coerced into wearing a tuxedo.
Actually it was Ashley who was the one that had to be convinced to accompany Nick to the party. The whole plane ride home from L.A. had been spent with Nick whining for her to go with him. Neither one of them mentioned what had happened in the kitchen of his parent’s home. By the time their plane touched down in Tampa, Nick had talked her into it. There really hadn’t been any reason for Ashley not to go. Preston was still at his parent’s island home and all of her girlfriend had their respective boyfriends to spend midnight with. Ashley could only think that it was ironic that she should spend the start of a new year with the person that she wouldn’t be able finish it with.
*****
Nick slipped out the set of French doors and onto the portico. Ashley was oblivious of the fact that he was out there and he took advantage of that moment just to look at her. She took his breath away while he watched her, just as she had when he’d picked her up for the evening when he’d seen her in the strapless, shimmering gray-green dress that she’d worn for the occasion. Her hair fell in soft ringlets down her bare back and the only jewelry that she wore was the bracelet that he had given her for Christmas. Nick thought she had never looked more beautiful. Nick stole up from behind her and pressed a kiss softly behind her ear. She turned around slowly, a small smile forming on her delicate features.
Nick handed her the champagne, “It’s almost midnight, Brown Eyes.”
Ashley touched the side of his face softly with her hand, “There’s no one I would rather spend it with.”
They both turned as they heard the people inside the house began shouting out the countdown. Ashley and Nick’s eyes locked as they silently counted down along with them. At the sound of the word ‘one’, Nick’s lips found hers in a gentle kiss. Slowly, they pulled apart.
“Happy New Year,” Nick whispered softly in her ear, pulling her against him to sway softly as the strains of Auld Lang Syne drifted out from the party.
“Happy New Year, Nicky,” Ashley breathed softly against his neck, savoring the bittersweet moment.
*****
“Happy Millennium, B-Rok!” A.J. exclaimed after breaking away from the kiss that he had shared with Amanda.
“Same to you, man,” Brian responded as all of those around wished each other the same.
“Where’s Nicky?” Howie asked, his arms wrapped around Claudia’s waist.
“Out there,” Kevin nodded towards the portico.
They all turned towards that direction just in time to see Nick’s lips meet Ashley’s.
Kevin shook his head, “Doesn’t he know that he’s playing with fire?”
“He loves her,” Kristen said simply.
Kevin, always the voice of reason, asked, “She’s engaged to another man. Are all of you forgetting that?”
*****
Three days later, Ashley allowed herself to be ushered by bodyguards out of Doubletree Suites in Miami along with Nick, Amanda, Leighanne, and the rest of the Backstreet Boys. No matter how many times she went somewhere like this with Nick, the reality of his fame slapped her in the face every time. The fans were never supposed to know where the Boys were staying, but somehow it was always leaked out. Nothing had changed and hundreds of girls had surrounded the hotel that the Boys had been staying in before leaving for L.A. to rehearse for the upcoming tour. They were camped out at every exit and there was no choice but to go through the mob in order to leave and make their flight on time.
Ashley hadn’t wanted to go to the airport. She hadn’t even wanted to go to Miami to see Nick off. He and the rest of the guys had gone there in hopes to meet with the company running the tour in order to discuss all of the technical details and be fitted for their stage wardrobe. They had hoped that by meeting in Miami, they would be able to avoid any commotion that could be caused if the fans had found out. As the fans chants met their ears, they realized that it obviously hadn’t worked. In reality, Ashley hadn’t even wanted to say goodbye to Nick because she knew that what she would say to him would break his heart as well as her own. She had refused to come to Miami until the morning they were scheduled to leave, despite Nick’s requests for her to come the whole three days. In actuality Nick had wanted her to accompany to him on the tour, but he knew that he would be asking too much if he did, so he settled for what she would give him.
It seemed that everyone but Nick understood the implications that Ashley had for when he left on the tour. Brian had tried to talk to him and so had Kevin, but it had been to no avail. Nick had stubbornly closed his ears to them and now as security requested that they all tuck in anything they didn’t want ripped off by the mob, Nick realized he was going to be paying for his actions. He let his gaze lock with Ashley’s as a door leading to outside was opened and the screams that could already be heard through the door, became almost deafening. She broke away from Nick’s gaze as one of the bodyguards took his arm to lead him out the doors. Ashley knew, as did Leighanne and Amanda, that they would leave at the same time as the Boys, but that they would walk directly behind them and never beside. The fans knew that the Backstreet Boys had personal relationships, but security never wanted to take the risk of the Boys walking next to a girl, any girl, whether she was a girlfriend or not. Usually, the fans never even realized there was anyone walking behind the guys. They were always too focused on screaming at whichever Backstreet Boy was closest to them, so Ashley knew security would be more relaxed around her and the other two girls. Nick had just reached the door of the twelve-passenger van that they were taking to the airport, when something compelled him to stop and turn around for Ashley. It was at that moment he saw a girl reached through the crowd and grab Ashley’s arm. Almost instantly, security grabbed the girl as quickly as she had grabbed Ashley.
As Nick forced his way back through security to get to Ashley, he heard what the fan was saying. “I’ve seen you and Nick together, you bitch! I can’t believe he’d ever be with a whore like you!”
Q, one of the guards that had been with them the longest, caught Nick just as he reached Ashley. The look the youngest Backstreet Boy’s face prompted the guard to say, “It’s not worth it, Nicky. Just grab your girl and keep going.”
Nick placed his hand firmly on Ashley’s hip and whispered urgently in her ear, “Ignore her.”
The guards pushed Nick and Ashley into the vans and the doors were slammed behind them.
“You okay?” Nick said softly once they were seated in the back seat of the van. He looked down and touched the tear in her sweater.
Ashley gently took his hand off of her shoulder, “I’m fine, Nick. It was just a jealous fan. She doesn’t even know that she doesn’t have anything to be jealous of.”
Hurt registered on Nick’s face. He turned from her to stare out the window at the fast moving scenery as the van merged on the expressway. They were silent the whole ride to the airport, not speaking to each other or to anyone else in the car. It was one of the longest thirty minutes of Nick’s life as he sat next to her. He knew nothing would be the same after this. Nothing was already the way that it used to be. They finally arrived at the airport and he stood with her, the girl that had been his best friend for longer than he could remember. The VIP lounge wasn’t very large, but Nick walked Ashley over at out of earshot of all the commotion that was going on with the rest of his band mates.
Still ignoring the facts, Nick touched her face softly with his hand, “Sure I can’t convince you to go with me?” Pushing away all emotion, Ashley held up her left hand, prominently displaying the large diamond on her ring finger, “I have a wedding to plan, Nick. I can’t just up and leave with you whenever you feel like it.” For all Nick cared she might as well have punched him in the stomach. That look was very clear on his face as he pulled his hand away from her. In an almost cool voice, he responded, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to ask so much of you.”
“You knew as well as I did that this had to stop somewhere, Nick. We waited long enough as it is. This is it and we have to accept that,” Ashley stated firmly, a distant look in her eyes.
“So, what? We’re not friends anymore? I can’t call you? We don’t have any contact? Maybe you could be a little clearer about this.”
Ashley thought for a moment before she spoke, “I think it would be best if we talked as little as possible. Things will be easier that way. I guess it would be okay to talk through e-mail, but only that. At least for right now, Nick. Do you understand?”
Frustrated, Nick responded, louder than he should have, gripping her shoulders as if to force sense into her, “No, damn it! I don’t understand! This doesn’t make any sense to me!”
Ashley looked over to see the rest of them boarding the plane and gently shrugged out of his grasp. Pain welled up inside of her and she wiped away the hot tears that had begun to trickle down her cheeks, “You have to go, Nick. They’re all leaving.”
Nick felt tears rise to his own eyes, “I can’t.”
“Yes you can. Go, Nick. Please.”
“Just tell me that you love me,” Nick pleaded.
Ashley shook her head as tears streamed from her eyes.
Nick touched her tears with his fingers and bent his head. Just as his lips were about to touch hers, Ashley turned her head and the only thing he tasted was the saltiness of her tears as they slipped down her cheek. He pulled away from her and Ashley would never forget the single tear that slipped from his blue eyes and slowly made its way down his cheek. Ashley wished more than anything that she could press her lips to that tear and caress his skin softly with them until she could obliterate all of the pain that she was causing him. Without another word, Nick turned and walked away from her and she didn’t know if she would ever hear from him again. Ashley stood at the vast windows of the airport as the plane eventually pulled away from the terminal. Her tears increased as she watched it move slowly away from the airport. Sobs wracked her body as the massive airliner taxied down the runway and lifted into the sky, carrying Nick away from her.
Pressing her hand to the glass, Ashley longed to take back those last few
minutes with him, but painful agony clawed at her as she realized that it
was too late.
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