Nick had been dozing lightly on the couch when the doorbell rang. Startled awake, Nick jerked up and glanced at the clock. It read 1:30 a.m. He wondered who would be ringing the doorbell at this time of night. Nick flipped on one dim light in the foyer to light his way through the dark house. After unlocking the door, Nick pulled it open. He was shocked at who he saw standing on his front walk.
“Brown Eyes.” His voice was barely audible.
Ashley stepped forward, a guilty look in her eyes, “I lied to you, Nick. I lied to you today when I told you that I didn’t love you, because I do love you. More than you will ever know.”
Nick stared at her. He didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t even open his mouth to form words. Ashley didn’t give him a chance to say anything though. She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her lips to his in a kiss. Nick didn’t remember shutting the front door. He didn’t remember how they made it up to his bedroom. All Nick could remember was the feel of her hands on him, the way her body had looked in the moonlight, and the sound of her voice when she had softly whispered his name as their bodies had become one. He would never forget the look in her eyes or the feel of her nails scraping softly down his back.
Afterwards, Nick held her in his arms as she slept, savoring the feeling of her lying against him. He didn’t know what any of this meant. All Nick knew was that it felt right, more right than anything ever had. He could have spent the rest of his life like this, lying with Ashley in his arms. He didn’t know what tomorrow held and he didn’t know what Ashley’s intentions were. He just knew that he had wanted her and she had wanted him just as much. He’d seen it in her eyes. There had been no doubt, no questions. It had been her first time. Nick knew it had. He’d felt it in her innocent responses and in her slight flinch as their bodies had joined. It had made it all the more amazing for Nick, though, to know that she had chosen him as her first, to know that he was the only one to have been with her like this.
Ashley sighed in her sleep, startling Nick out of his thoughts. He pulled her closer to him, feeling the warmth of her body against his. This was what he’d dreamed of. He wouldn’t worry about tomorrow. Not yet. Not if it meant he would lose her.
*****
Before the sun had even peeked through the blinds in Nick’s room, Ashley slipped quietly from his arms. She sat up and watched Nick as he slept. The way his lips curled up in an innocent smile on his peaceful face broke her heart. Ashley still didn’t know what made her go to Nick’s that night or to kiss him like she had when he’d opened the door. Maybe it was the look on his face when he’d seen her on his doorstep, his sleep-filled eyes, or his loss of words at her confession. She’d had no doubt in her mind as she allowed Nick to lead her up to his room. No confusion or guilt had harbored her heart as he’d made love to her.
The only thing that Ashley had felt during those bliss-filled moments was an indescribable sense of love and desire. Nick had been gentle and slow, taking his time to do everything just as she’d imagined. He’d held her in his arms as she fell asleep and now, by pulling herself away from his bed, Ashley was doing the hardest thing she’d ever done. She was leaving him, this time for good.
*****
“Where the hell have you been?”
Ashley was greeted harshly by Laurel as she entered the hotel suite that they were staying in until the wedding.
When Ashley didn’t answer her, Laurel asked again, her tone a little softer, “Where have you been? It’s five o’clock in the morning on the day of your wedding and I woke up to go to the bathroom only to find you gone. Just tell me that you weren’t with Nick.”
“I was with Nick.”
Laurel pouted, “I told you to tell me that you weren’t.”
“I won’t lie about it.”
“Just tell me nothing happened,” Laurel pleaded.
“I slept with him.”
“Oh, God,” Laurel sank down on the couch in the living area of the suite, “What about the wedding?”
“I’m still getting married.”
“If the pattern continues as is you’ll say that you’re marrying Nick.”
“I wish that were the case, but it’s not.”
“How can you be so blasé about this? Your voice has no emotion in it. You slept with your best friend the night before you’re supposed to marry another guy. Tell me this doesn’t warrant emotion?” Laurel demanded.
“I lost all of my emotions when I lost Nick.”
Laurel sighed softly, “Was he awake when you left?”
Ashley shook her head.
“What do you think he’ll do when he wakes up?”
Ashley shrugged her shoulders, “I don’t want to think about it. I just want to sleep.”
“You can’t just ignore this. Nick’s going to want answers, Ashley. Despite the fact that what happened was immoral, selfish, and impulsive, you still owe him an explanation.”
*****
When Nick woke up the next morning, his heart felt as empty as his bed was. He had known, before even opening his eyes, that she was gone and that he wouldn’t find her in another room of the house either. It was around noon by the time Nick had finally woken up, but it wasn’t for another hour that he had been able to force himself to get out of bed. He didn’t want to face the day, to face his life without Ashley in it. When Nick finally stood up he caught sight of her bra still laying half underneath the foot of the bed where he’d tossed it in the early hours of the morning. A few drops of blood marred the sheer white of the sheets from when Nick had taken her virginity the night before.
That day passed in a blur for Nick. Ashley didn’t leave his thoughts for a second. His heart was haunted with the memories from the night he had spent with her. Nick thought that he would die from the heartache that he was feeling. To think that she would do with Preston what she had done with him, almost made Nick sick to his stomach. How could she possibly take something that had been so special and share it with a person she didn’t love? Nick tore his mind apart with questions during the course of the day, but found no answers, just the silent sound of his mind mocking his heart.
Later that afternoon, Nick was sitting on the back deck watching palm trees blow in the balmy Florida breeze when the doorbell rang. Remembering that the guys were going to pick him up for the wedding, Nick stayed where he was, letting the chime continue to ring throughout the house. The door was unlocked. They wouldn’t be ignorant enough this time to not try the doorknob. Several minutes later, Nick heard the patio door slide open and felt the presence of his friends as they silently walked onto the deck.
“Hey, Nicky,” Howie’s voice was soft. None of them had really known what to expect when they arrived. This wasn’t a surprise to them, though. They had come early in case this was the situation that they encountered.
Nick remained silent, as if they weren’t even standing there. Kevin walked over and sat down in the lounge chair next to Nick. Placing a hand on Nick’s shoulder he said, “Hey, pal, you want one of us to go up to your room and find something for you to wear? Or do you just want to stay here and chill?”
Nick threw off Kevin’s hand and bitterly spat, “Will all of you stop treating me like I’m a fucking ten year old?”
“Calm down, Frack. All we want to do is help,” Brian made his way over to Kevin and Nick.
“No one can help.”
“It’s just going to take some time, Nick,” Brian spoke softly, “You’ve got to believe that.”
Nick stood and walked towards the railing, facing away from them. Then he said something that left them speechless, “I slept with her last night.”
A.J. locked gazes with Brian, whose mouth hung open, “Oh my God”
Nick turned to face them, shame written all over his face, “She left before I woke up this morning. She couldn’t even face me.”
Brian stepped forward, “Have you talked to her since then?”
“Look, guys, I appreciate the therapy session, but I don’t really want to
talk about it. Just go to the wedding and, tell her,” Nick paused as if
trying to find the right words, “Tell her that I’m sorry.”
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