Sexuality 101

Deciphering the Personal Classifieds

Whether or not you're single and lonely or married and bored, chances are you've scanned a personal classified ad or two. Like the catch line from Arlo Guthrie's famous tune: "You can get anything you want . . ."; but if you've played the "personals game," then you know the classifieds will make you think you can get anything you want. In reality, the classifieds are just some creative marketing-hype designed to get you to call. Let's face it, everybody lies. Hopefully this section will help you understand this hype, weed out the dead wood and help you find the right person, master, sugar daddy, slave or couple you're trying to meet. Use the table below to find the true meanings behind the ads you read.

The ad reads:	It really means:
Looks not important	Person is but-ugly. Possibly missing teeth.
Weight proportionate to height	Person is fat
Great sense of humor	Person is on Lithium
Energetic	Cocaine problem
Medium build	Person is fat
Slim	Bulemia or aneorexia problem
Generous	Will pay for sex
Adventurous	Person has their own "toys"
Attractive	Subject to interpretation
Very Attractive	Usually a true statement
Drug and disease free	Likes to smoke pot

Many more to come, please come back soon! Back to Sexuality 101