The minute the door closes, Miranda suddenly looks a bit faint and tries to steady herself against the railing.
Miranda: “Could somebody...?? [Her good knee starts to buckle. Duncan gets there right in time and helps her to a couch. Mumbling] “That girl is going to be the death of me.”
Duncan: “You’re burning up. Let me get you some water.”
He heads to the kitchen, leaving Cordelia and Miranda alone.
Miranda: [resting her head back against a pillow] “Good night?”
But before she can answer, Duncan is back with the water.
Cordelia: [to Dunan with a sweet smile] “Would you mind getting me some more coffee?” [He takes her mug and heads back to the kitchen. As soon as he turns his back to them, Cordelia turns toward Miranda and mouths “Oh_My_God.”]
Miranda: [smiling, knowingly] “This is what I’ve heard.”
Switch to Duncan’s POV as he’s returning with the coffee. There’s all sorts of giggling and whispering going on. All’s quiet when he enters the room.
Duncan: [to Miranda] “Are you telling her stories about me again?”
Miranda: “Not so much stories as rumors and gossip.”
Duncan: [sarcastic] “Well that’s much better.”
Miranda: [to Cordelia] “Would you mind giving us a moment alone?”
Cordelia: [quick frown] “Oh. Sure. I should get in the shower anyway.”
She gets up and leaves, flashing a smile to Duncan.
Once they’re alone...
Duncan: “You’re not going to lecture me about getting involved with mortals—‘cause this is just a bit of fun.”
Miranda: [this hadn’t even occurred to her] “Good lord, no. Have fun. I think you both can use it. I wanted to talk to you before Angel gets here. He’s going to give you a little lecture on vampires and most likely on Spike in particular, I’m certain of it. It’s all true. Vampires are evil and Spike was no exception. In fact, by all accounts, he was rather spectacular at murder and mayem back in the day. I only ask that you base your actions on what you've seen, not what you’re told.”
Duncan: [He gives her an acknowledging nod, but then adds casually] “Have to say that this is all a bit surreal anyway—vampires, souls, chips, angels...bloody Lucifer. I feel like it’s all a Halloween prank or something. I mean, I thought WE had issues.”
Miranda: “Best not to think too hard on it. Would you mind helping me downstairs? I need a bit of a rest already.”
Duncan helps her to the base of the stairs and then leaves her alone. She can smell the cigarette smoke coming from the other room. She takes a couple of small steps in that direction. A crumpled up piece of paper comes rolling through the door. A second later, Cat pounces on it and picks it up in his mouth and disappears out of sight. Miranda hobbles to the doorway. Spike is still on the floor, leaning back against a chair, smoking like a chimney, looking a bit despondent. Cat trots up with the paper in his mouth and drops it in front of him, adding a little chirp when Spike doesn’t immediately toss it again.
Spike: “Real cats don’t play fetch, you stupid hairball. Real cats would take the paper and shred it in a corner or something. You’re not a stupid dog—have some self-respect.”
The cat just stares at him blankly. He shakes his head disapprovingly and then tosses the paper across the room again. Cat happily goes racing after it.
Miranda: “I’m sorry.”
Spike: “For what?”
Miranda: “Tweedledee’s appalling behavior.”
Spike: “Angel’s tweedledee. She’s tweedledum.”
Miranda: “It bothers you, doesn’t it? Her reaction.”
Spike: [takes a long drag from his cigarette] “Nah. S’better to have her fear me. The way it should be.”
Miranda: [She scrunches up her face, annoyed] “Stuff the macho bullshit.”
Spike: [pause for a minute] “I could have made her life a bloody nightmare if I’d wanted to. Chip didn’t mean I couldn’t mess with them all I wanted. Coulda caused a lot of trouble. Shoulda done, for all the difference it made.”
He lights another cigarette from the butt of the one he’d been smoking.
Miranda: “I think she knows. It’s just easier for her to live in a simplified world.”
Spike: “Fuck it. Doesn’t matter.”
Miranda: “Sorry.”
She feels bad for him, but doesn’t know what to say—he’s pretty over-sensitive about the whole ‘used-to-be-in-love-with-Buffy’ thing, so she decides not to push it.
Spike: [shrugs] “So what’s our plan?”
**Switch scenes to Buffy and Angel’s conversation**
Buffy: “So what’s our plan?”
Angel: “Talk. I guess. Bring Duncan over to our side.”
Buffy: “To do what, exactly?”
Angel: “Convince Miranda that she’s not thinking clearly.”
Buffy: “And then what?”
Angel: “We take him out.”
Buffy: “And you think she’s going to just let us do that?”
Angel: “She’s not exactly in any shape to stop us.”
Buffy: “But she will get better. What then?”
Angel: “That’s why we have to convince her it’s for the best.”
Buffy: [skeptical] “Yeah, good luck with that. I hate to be the one to bring this up, but she’s way into him at the moment—she’s seriously skipping down codependency lane.”
Angel: “Sure, NOW. But deep down, she knows it’s only temporary—a way to pass the time.”
Buffy: [Not wanting to burst his bubble, but EEK. She says, not very convincingly] “Maybe.”
Angel: “You have a better idea?”
Buffy: “I don’t think we can just walk in there and kill him. That’s not something she’ll deal with.”
Angel: “It’ll take time, sure, but...”
Buffy: “And in that time, we might have an Immortal indulging in the mother-of-all revenge-themed benders. How willing are you to take her out if she goes all Desperado on us?”
Angel: “That’s not going to happen. The whole point of getting rid of Spike is to protect her—protect who she is.”
Buffy: “Oh. Excuse me, I though the point was that William the Bloody has his teeth back, not to mention a whole host of newly acquired tolerances to daylight, crosses and holy water.”
Angel: [As if this hadn’t occurred to him] “That, too.”
Buffy: “I’m just saying, I think we need to wait for him to make the first move—if she can see for herself what he is, then...”
Angel: “And who are you prepared to sacrifice as bait while we sit around waiting?”
Buffy: [a bit annoyed by his attitude] “Me. His feelings for me are the strongest. That whole love/hate fine-line thing. If he doesn’t attack me, then...”
Angel: [a bit defensive] “He’ll attack the next person who comes along. What does it prove if he shows a little temporary self-constraint? I mean, it’s not like he can be good forever.”
Buffy: [frowns] “I’m not saying that he could. I just think Miranda is going to have to see for herself, else we’re the bad guys—subject to her revenginess.”
Angel: [suddenly more somber. After a pause.] “You don’t think...I mean, it’s not possible that he...”
Buffy: [looking concerned] “What?”
Angel: “It’s just something Spike said back in LA. He was ranting on about how my real fear is that he won’t kill anyone or try, anyway. That I’d be worried that...people...would compare the two of us and wonder why...”
Buffy: “You turn into a homicidal maniac without your soul?”
Angel: “That about sums it up. What would it mean?”
Buffy: “First, I’m pretty sure that Spike still IS a homicidal maniac. But even if it turns out he isn’t—if he does manage control himself for a while—it’s just because he’s had more time to get used to the idea. I mean, with you, it’s like a light switch—one minute you’re in the light and the next you’re in the dark. Spike’s been living in ‘evening’ for a few years now. So it’s like his eyes have adjusted. Or something—that didn’t quite come out right, but you know what I’m saying.”
Angel: “So you think he’s changed?”
Buffy: [suddenly defensive] “No, of course not. Well, maybe. [apologetically] A tiny bit. But I still wouldn’t trust him—he’s the same person.”
Angel: [still frowning] “Right. The same person. [pause for a moment of silent brooding] She’s my responsibility. She’s got this huge weight on her because of what she did for me. I can’t let her get pulled down further into...”
Buffy: “We won’t let that happen.”
Angel: [pause. suddenly sad/notalgic] “It was...nice...having her around. It made everything...easier—clearer. I was afraid to question it—to think too hard about any of it. I should’ve...”
Buffy: [sympathetic] “Don’t. None of us said anything. We were all under the influence of something, right?”
Angel: “Maybe I’m not so sure I was.” [Buffy looks at him with a concerned frown, but doesn’t say anything. In a minute, he shakes it off and stands up.] So what’s the plan?”
Buffy: “We talk to them and see what happens.”
**back to Miranda and Spike**
Spike: “So what’s the plan?”
Miranda: “We stall them. As long as possible. Preferably, until I’m strong enough to kick some ass if need be. We talk until we’re bloody blue in the face and if they’re still on the warpath, we make a break for it as soon as I’m strong enough. And what are you NOT going to do?”
Spike: “Throw the first punch.”
Miranda: “Exactly. [thinking about it for a moment] But just so we’re clear, there won’t be any bonding or hugging either—or touching of any kind.”
Spike: “Settled, then.”
Miranda: “Could you call Anya and tell her to come over a bit later. I’m exhausted and need to sleep a bit.”
Spike: “You invited Anya over?”
Miranda: “And Xander. I’ve got an engagement present for them. Stalling, remember?”
Spike: “Xander and Buffy. Trial by fire, I see. This is going to be an interesting evening.”
Scene 10
A few hours later.
Alex’s Voice: “Couple approaching front walkway. With flowers.”
Miranda is putting some snacks together in the kitchen (she’s been up for about 30 minutes or so)—She still doesn’t have use of her leg, but other than that, she’s just a bit weak. Spike has been packing a few of their things just in case. A few minutes go by.
Miranda: “What happened to them?”
Alex’s Voice: “Couple making out on front porch.”
Miranda: [smiling] “Good to know some things haven’t changed.”
Finally, the bell rings. Spike appears and answers the door. Due to all the excitement with Dawn, Buffy forgot to call Xander to tell him about Spike’s chip. So A&X don’t know it isn’t working. Spike holds the door open, without saying anything. He gives them an eyebrow raise for a greeting.
Miranda: [coming over from the kitchen] “Welcome, newly fiancé-ed.”
Anya is all smiley and pushes her hand out for Miranda to see.
Anya: “It’s not very big. Or expensive. But I love it like no other piece of jewelry I’ve ever had.” [She’s completely sincere.]
Miranda: “It’s lovely.”
Xander: “What’s with the cast?”
Miranda: “Lucifer exploded the bone in my leg ‘cause I wouldn’t give him his bloody sword back quick enough.”
Xander: “Yikes. Wait, Lucifer?”
Miranda: “The master of Hell himself. And you know, aside from the bone exploding, he was a rather decent sort. Not bad looking, either.”
Spike: [to M] “If you’re alright, love, I’m going to dive downstairs for a bit.” [She nods and he leaves.]
Anya: “I saw him once. Made an appearance at one of the big demon galas. Everyone was ga-ga over him. Would’ve asked for his autograph, but he had a habit of sucking random passersby into his hell dimension, so I steered clear. Cute, though. Nice horns.”
Miranda: “I’m not quite recovered from the experience, so excuse me if I’m not myself.”
Anya: “Oh, you haven’t been yourself since you left for LA the first time without telling anyone you were leaving. Including your employees, who were then left wondering if and when they were going to get paid.” [a twinge of bitterness]
Xander: [smiling nervously] “Let it go, honey”
Miranda: “Can I get you two a drink? Mimosas perhaps?”
Anya: “Yes, please.”
A moment later, after Miranda has taken their coats, she turns toward the kitchen to go and fix the drinks. But, a tray with mimosas has appeared on a nearby table, so instead, she picks up the glasses and hands them out.
Xander: “How did you...?”
Miranda: “Long story.”
Anya: “Friendly ghost?”
Miranda: “Something like that.”
They walk into the living room.
Xander: “Anything else exciting happen when you were in LA this time?”
Anya: “You didn’t sleep with Angel again, did you?”
Miranda: “No.”
Anya: “Two out of three isn’t bad. [arm motion] Good for you.”
Miranda: [passing frown—quick change of subject] “Uh, I found out I was an archangel—that was rather cool.”
Xander: “So the crazy priest guys were right. Huh. Guess I might have to re-think my knee-jerk creeped-out reaction to the collar.”
Anya: “Oh”
Anya awkwardly glances around, suddenly uncomfortable and wondering what to do. She bites her lower lip and then turns to Miranda and does a quick curtsey.
Miranda: [can’t stop herself from laughing] “I’m not the bloody Queen, Anya.”
Anya: [defensive] “Well, I didn’t know what to do. I’m not familiar with that whole realm.” [She waves her hand up in the air as she says this.]
Miranda: “It’s all in the past. No need to start acting all funny around me or anything.”
Anya: [Squinting up her eyes. Very serious.] “So do you talk to God?”
Miranda: “I’m quite sure she’s taken me off her speed dial—that’s why I’m here.”
Cordelia comes down the stairs and into the livingroom—she had no idea that Xander was coming over. She’s visibly surprised.
Cordelia: “Xander. What are you doing here?”
Xander: “Cordelia. Long time, no snark.”
Cordelia: “And this must be demon-girl?” [indicating Anya]
Xander: “Ex-demon. Anya, meet Cordelia.”
Anya: “We’ve met. Former client, remember?”
Xander: “Right.”
Anya: “We’re engaged (she holds her hand up quickly to flash the ring). Miranda is giving us a present.”
Cordelia: “Well, good for you. I wish you lots of little Xanders, because, you know, the world can always use more lo... [Duncan comes trotting down the stairs. Seeing him, Cordelia quickly catches her self and substitutes ‘losers’ with] lovely children. Duncan, let me introduce you to Xander and Anya. Xander and I went to high school together.”
Duncan: “We’ve met, haven’t we?”
Anya: “Yep. Back just before Miranda skipped town.”
Cordelia: “Duncan. Now might be a good time to go to that thing I told you about. You know, that place that I wanted to show you?” [exaggerated eye movements]
Duncan: [looking a bit confused for a moment, then getting it] “Right. The thing. I’m not sure it’s such a good idea to leave right now.”
Cordelia: “Oh, Alex can handle it, can’t you Alex? He’s got your cell if anything happens.”
Alex’s voice: “No problem”
She practically pulls him out the door. In her surprise and desperation to leave, Cordelia doesn’t think to mention the situation with Spike either.
Anya: [Grumpy to be reminded of why Cordelia summoned her all those years ago.] “Well, I certainly hope you don’t cheat on me like you did with her. [mumbling] Maybe Miranda’s been giving you tips.”
Miranda: [desperate to change the subject] “Anya, why don’t we go upstairs. I want to show you something. Xander, can you amuse yourself down here for a bit? Pop the telly on if you want.”
Xander: [relieved] “Sure thing.”
**
Up in one of the bedrooms, Miranda sits in a chair for a minute to recover from the trip up the stairs. Anya waits patiently and they talk about wedding stuff. Downstairs, Xander is munching on some chips and watching TV. He jumps when a voice suddenly announces: “Three females approaching the front door.”
Xander: “What the? That’s one seriously high-tech alarm systems she’s got.”
The doorbell rings and it is Willow, Tara and Dawn. Dawn had deviously managed to get them to suggest a trip over, once she told them that M was back in town. They haven’t talked to Buffy and Dawn doesn’t mention Spike. Xander lets them in and they chit-chat for a minute. He tells them that M and Anya are upstairs doing girlie things. Dawn and Tara head up, but Willow stays to hang with Xander on the couch. When they find them, Miranda is going through boxes in the big closet, looking for something. She’s pulled out all sorts of things in the process, and the room is a bit of a mess. Miranda is shocked (but pleased) to see Dawn—she gives her a look like, you know Buffy is going to be hopping mad if she finds you here. Dawn has it in her head that if they all spend the evening here and see that Spike doesn’t try to hurt anyone, that maybe Buffy will let them stay and they won’t have to move to New York. Tara gives M a big hug.
Dawn: “So what’s all this?”
Miranda: “Oh, mostly things I had Spike pull out of the storage room at the shop before those bloody lawyers closed me down. [Finding a big box in the back of the closet.] Here it is.”
Anya: “What? What is it?”
Miranda: “Hang on a minute. Give us a hand, will you?” [Tara gives her a hand. They put the large box on the bed.] “Let’s have a look shall we?”
She pulls the top off the box and smiles down at what she sees. The others lean in.
Tara: “Oh. It’s a wedding dress.”
Miranda: “It is indeed. MY wedding dress, in fact.”
Dawn: “It’s beautiful.”
Miranda: “Who wants to try it on, then?” [They all laugh, but take turns trying it on. Lots of giggling and oohs and ahhs ensue. It’s rather simple, but with a very long silk train. Obviously made of the very best fabric money can buy. Once they’ve had their fun, they lay the dress full out on the bed.] “Anya, I want you to have it.”
Anya: [conflicted] “Oh, but I was going to look for a sleeveless dress. To show off my slender arms and elegant shoulders.”
Tara: [chastising] “Anya. She’s giving you her wedding dress.”
Miranda: “No, it’s alright. Take it for the fabric—have it altered any way you want. My treat. You’ll have the dress of a millionaire. Every women deserves to be a princess at least once.”
Anya: [getting a bit emotional—sniffling] “Well, in that case...That’s pretty much the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me. Well, except for Xander asking me to marry him, but it’s the nicest thing anyone who I don’t have sex with has ever done. [She sits on the bed and stares down at the dress.] I’m sorry I said all those awful things about you when you left town. I didn’t mean them. Really.”
Miranda: [smiling] “It’s alright.”
Dawn: [looking in another box] “Hey, are these your old clothes?”
Miranda: “I saved a few things.”
Tara: “What’s this one? It’s amazing.”
Miranda: [peering over] “That has a bit of a story behind it. It was made for my engagement party.”
Tara: “But it’s a different style from the rest.”
Miranda: “My engagement before I became an Immortal.”
Tara: “You’ve kept it this whole time?”
Miranda: “No, actually. When Spike and I were traveling around Europe, we decided to swing by my old family’s estate. I was shocked to find what appeared to be my own grave. We had a little dance on it, just for laughs, but I was intensely curious to know what exactly my parents had buried since it couldn’t have been my body. So we dug up my coffin and there inside was this dress. How it survived all those years underground is a mystery. Let’s see if it still fits.”
They help her put the dress on, complete with corset. For fun, they keep going and put on jewelry and do her hair in the style of the day—she tells them tales of what it was like to be a young lady in society. When they’re done, she stands in front of the mirror—she looks absolutely stunning. The dress is ruby-red and made of fine silk. As is typical for dresses of the day, it was quite revealing in the chest area. They hear someone coming down the hall. A moment later, Spike appears in the doorway, mumbling something about being out of cigarettes. Then he sees Miranda and stops talking—she turns to face him, giving him a coy smile. He just stares, speechless. Everyone can see that he is completely transfixed by her in that dress—he doesn’t even look like Spike for a moment. He looks almost vulnerable.
Miranda: “So what do you think, William?”
He’s still unable to speak—or perhaps he doesn’t hear what she said because he’s too busy drinking in the sight of her.
Tara: “If he had breath to take..."
Spike: [snapping out of it—noticing the others in the room] “I’ve seen you in that dress before.”
Miranda: “No, you haven’t.”
Spike: “Have so. Sarah dragged me along the night of your party—she needed me to help her up a tree so she could see into the ballroom.”
Miranda: “I never knew that.”
Dawn: “Didn’t you say that Sarah was your best friend?”
Miranda: “Yes. But I wasn’t allowed to invite her to my engagement party—my future husband wouldn’t allow it because her family wasn’t quite up to his standard. My family was hardly up to his standard, but my father had money, so he made an exception. I was so angry about her not coming that I tried to call off the engagement. You see, it was more than just the party—he didn’t want me to see her at all once we were married—well, he didn’t want me to be seen with her, more like. My father intervened, of course, and abruptly informed me that I had no choice in the matter. I would marry the bastard and I’d be thankful for the opportunity. As a placatory gift, my fiancée offered to have a dress made for me to wear on the occasion—I could have anything I wanted, spare no expense. Needless to say, I didn’t hold back. Not only did I break the bank on the most expensive fabric I could find, I chose a very controversial style for the day. Spike, why don’t you explain why this dress would have been considered risqué back in the day? If you can remember.”
Spike strolls up to her as he talks.
Spike: “First off, it’s red. Proper, unmarried young ladies never wore red. But more importantly, [He is close enough to touch her now and he illustrates his point with his hand] the waistline is a few inches below what was acceptable—see how it extends a ways below her chest? Why, you can practically see the narrowness of her real waist, which emphasizes the outward curve of her hips. An outrage. Heaven forbid a man see the true shape of a woman—he might get improper ideas.” [He licks his lips and it’s rather obvious the improper ideas he’s having right now. He moves in closer and studies her face, touching her neck, down to her chest with the back of his hand. His look is very predatory.] So, are you actually wearing a corset?”
Dawn: “Let’s go downstairs and see what Xander and Willow are up to, huh? Maybe there’s ice cream or something.”
Anya: “Oh, but it’s just getting good. I think we’ve hit serious hidden fantasy territory.”
Tara: [grabbing Anya’s arm] “Time to go.”
As they leave, Miranda and Spike are kissing.