what its like being the mother two young addicts

Sheer horror! I just could not exaggerate the chaos drugs cause in a family. It sort of creeps up gradually, after the unbelief that it really can't be happening to your boys. You think that it is something that only happens to other people's kids: you know - the type that don't have any parental control. Well, all of a sudden, it's your turn to be judged.

You just know that everyone thinks that you must have been a bad parent; you even jump on the bandwagon yourself and keep asking yourself where you went wrong, with a long list of 'if only's.

But the real hurt comes with watching the ones you love and have cherished turning into the low life everyone despises - even they themselves. Your heart breaks as they become a physical wreck, thin, gaunt, grey, full of cigarette burns they didn't feel, with only two things on their minds: where to get the drugs, and how to pay for them.

The realisation doesn't come all at once, and it takes a while before the stealing from your purse begins, but it is inevitable - even though you've convinced yourself that they wouldn't do that to you.

From then on, the inconvenience of having to hide every penny starts - not just because you don't want to lose your money, but because you don't want to become part of the problem by financing their habit. You can't even give Christmas presents in case they sell them to buy drugs (not that Christmas will ever be the same again). There is so much lying, scheming and deceiving that it is impossible to know the truth or to believe anything.

 

Obviously, you cannot allow drugs to be taken in your home; so with the threats of them being made homeless, come all the promises of giving up - and you just have to believe it, because what else can you do? Giving up on them does not seem like an option.

Coming off heroin, they need a lot of help to have any chance of success, so they now become a full time job. You feel yourself withdrawing from the outside world and dreading visitors calling, while they 'cold turkey' on your couch and leave the fires on all night, and burn holes in your furniture, surrounded by bottles of pills to get over the withdrawals - most of which are also subject to abuse. Then of course there's the naltrexone (which is your only weapon to stop them taking heroin) - but it's not long before they develop several ingenious ways to hide it, spit it out or some other way to look like they've taken it and put you off your guard. Always one step ahead!

You live in a constant state of stress, trying to catch them out, wondering which drugs they might be taking, always hoping your suspicions are wrong. But sooner or later the needles and paraphernalia start to appear and you know you're going round the same old cycle again.

There's something demonic about the whole thing: the thought of your son sticking a needle full of poison into himself is excruciatingly painful…..(continued in ‘full story’ – click on the link to read)

 

full story