| Chapter 18-TAS-man ~at TAS-man's house~ "But whilst he was sleeping, TAS-man had a vision. A blueish bunny came to him in a dream. "TAS-man," Bunny said "I am talking to you from the future. Get on the internet, now, TAS-man. You. Must. Save. Us." He said straining to make himself heard as the portal from the future wavered. "Ya know, if ya gotta go that bad, there's a bathroom down the hall and to the left." "Shut up boy, you will never become a jedi hare speaking out of your..." Bunny stopped and smiled sweetly, "Neck." "You almost said a bad word didntcha?" "I did not! Jedi knights NEVER cus---" "Did too." "Did not." "Uh huh." "Unh Unh." "Uh huh." "Unh Unh." "Uh huh." "Unh...SHUT UP YOU F(this content has been edited out by the author as this WAS rated PG.) "Ha! Uh HUH!" "Just go get on the internet and look at the Morphz board PLEASE?! Make my job a little easier." After waking Cait-Dog, (and waiting two hours for AOL to connect to the internet) they surfed on over to Morphz Message board, where they found a devestating message. "GASP! Cait-Dog! They need our help!" "~snore~" "You say use the super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device?!" "~snore~" “Where do we find this super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device?” “~snore~” “Ah, of course: Lowes.” Later that day, at Lowes (Duhn! Duhn! Duuuhhhhn!) Even though TAS-man and Cait-dog are qualified Super-Zeroes—I mean HEROES, even Heroes can’t help get lost in Lowes. Finally, after days of hiking, rations were low, and TAS-man and Cait-Dog were no closer to their destination then when they started. Could they go on? Would they make it? What’s that! A light at the end of the aisle! Could it be?! It is! A person with a red vest on that said “Need any help? Ask me.” “Sir!” TAS-man gasped, “Where can I find a super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device?” “Uhm, I work at Krogers, maybe you should ask someone that works here?” TAS-man’s last thread of insanity was gone. How many more days could he go without food? Cait-dog was looking more and more edible every day. When finally, the store employee appeared. “I can only give advice, but not direct you to the path in which you needest to travelest. I cannot change the lives of other people.” “Oh mighty store employee dudette,” Cait-sith groveled, “Where might we find a super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device?” “Walk straight, take a left, go straight until you reach Aisle 189, take a right, then straight, then a left, then straight, go through the tunnel that says “do not enter” (but watch for trains), climb that ladder at the end of the dark tunnel, go straight to aisle 1392, ride the elevator to floor 13, take a left, the go straight, you’ll pass the rest rooms, and the employees lunch room, after two more miles, you should come to a “Y” in the Aisle, take a right, and go straight until you reach Aisle 17,398, you can’t miss it.” After getting some M&M’s and some Mountain dew, at some vending machines, our heroic heroes, journeyed the…well, journey of course. And after getting caught bye Greed, and Dispair, and meeting Faithful, they decided to write a book and call it “Pilgrims Progress.” Hours later, after finding and purchasing the super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device (and also working in the kitchen for a year to pay it off) Thankfully, one year on earth is equal to one day in Clyattville. After another year of reading the instruction manual, they finally set of to Clyattville. TAS-man and Cait-Dog stepped into the Machine. “Wingardium Levioso!” screamed TAS-man. “I don’t remember the instruction manual saying to say ‘Wingardium Levioso!’” grumbled Cait-dog. “It doesn’t, but I’ve always wanted to say that” “Oh…well in that case, LUMOS FIGGY PUDDING!” “…” “Let’s go already.” “Sometimes wonder about you Cait-dog, sometimes I wonder.” TAS-man pressed “ignition”, and the two went zooming out through space and into the Clayattville dimension. Luckily, TAS-man discovered that in this new dimension, super heroes can fly! (unless of course they are in a “no flying zone”.) After asking directions from a few squirrels, TAS-man and Cait-sith finally found the Radio Tower. Holli, Jaina, Tyreal, Roses, Roseidous, and Crayak were all sitting on top of the Radio tower, cheering. TAS-man flew towards them at amazing speed. Suddenly, the cheering turned into looks of horror, and they all started screaming “Pull up! Pull up! TAS-man! WATCH OUT FOR THAT—“ SLAM “…tower.” As TAS-man slid down the tower in pancake fashion, Cait-sith flew up to help the group. Cait-sith was saying “Now all we have to do is hop into the super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device and head back home!” “Where is the super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device Cait-dog?” Asked Holli sweetly. “It’s uh…It’s uh…we uh…left it back in the jungle.” Holli turned from sweet, pretty Holli, into evil demonic Holli of rage instantly. “WHY YOU LITTLE (once again this content has been edited by the ever so famous author.)” As she and the others were strangling Cait-sith, TAS-man finally regained composure, and flew (very carefully) up to the tower. “Hey guys!…Wow, I can tell you’re happy to see Kate—Cait-dog…so…what’s the problem?” Cait answered through short breaths, “You. Left. The. *gasp* super-new-transmecular-heroconomicle-rearranger-apperator-device *gaaaasssssppp* in. The. Jungle.” “Oh, nice Darth Vader impression Cait, uh, Luckily, I brought a magic carpet.” Holli instantly changed back into perfect, sweet and nice Holli as once again, through the science of "authors", a magic carpet just happened to be in TAS-man's pocket. TAS-man pulled the magic carpet out of his pocket. Then he pulled a white rabbit out of the carpet. "WOW!!!" Cait exclaimed, "How'd you do that?!" "I told you Cait-Dog, it's a Magic Carpet." "It does fly, doesn't it?" Holli asked. "Fly? Why would it need to fly? It's plenty of fun just makin' rabbits. Besides, the flying carpet costs ten dollars more." As Holli prepared to change back into demonic-Holli, suddenly, time stopped. The store employee appeared! "Hi Mr. Lowe!" TAS-man said cheerfully. The store employee quickly autographed all of their shirts, then said "I cannot interfere in the lives of other people, but I can transport you back to home, give you a brand new car, and one hundred dollars spending cash for twelve easy payments of $999.99." Luckily, TAS-man pulled out his superhero credit card and they all were flashed back to their homes. But of course, it was in another dimension, so their homes were just smoldering blocks of wood and plaster. "Argh!" Roses screamed, "This isn't the right place! Let's get home!" "Can we cook hotdogs on the open flame first?" begged Tyreal. "Alright first we have hotdogs." "And smores?" "AND smores. But THEN we get home." After they had all eaten (And after Rosey had been "accidently" pushed in the fire twice) they decided to find their way home. "What about gingerbread men?" "NO TYREAL!" everybody shouted. And with that they headed into the jungle. Suddenly, a high-pitched scream was heard. "AAAAARRRRGGGGHHH!!!!" "What's wrong Rosey?" Crayak asked. "It's a...It's a...A spider!!!" Rosey said still in a high pitched tone. "NOT a spider?!" Holli said mockingly. "Y-y-y-y-yes...a sp-sp-sp-spider!" Holli picked it up and threw it at Rosey. He (yes, Rosey is a 'he') fainted instantly. "Holli, that wasn't nice." Jaina said. "Funny, extremely funny, but not nice. Plus, now we have to wait for him to wake up before we go on." After roaming around through the jungle for days they finally made it to: the Library. "This is what we're looking for?" Rosey, who had turned orange, from eating nothing but mangoes in the jungle asked. "What, may I ask are we going to do in a library?!" "Poor, simple-minded Rosey," Holli sighed, "We are going to use the library's scanner, to scan ourselves onto the hard-drive, then, we will e-mail ourselves to our houses in our demension, and go our separate ways." "Right." After stopping at Mcdonald's to eat, the group strolled (yes I said strolled) into the library. Crayak was the first to try, he stuck his head in the scanner, and clicked 'Scan' "Insert 15 cents please." "Uh, Holli, could I borrow 15 cents please?" "Sure." Holli checked her purse. "Oops...Maybe I shouldn'ta supersized at McDonalds. I'm all out! Roses? Got any spare change?" And so it went, none of them had any change. After scrutinizing the library floor on hands and knees for a week, they finally came up with 15 cents. Unfortunately it was 15 cents per scan. After inserting 15 cents and cramming all of their faces on the single scanner, Rosey hit 'scan.' With a flash they were all gone. Well, not all. "Hey guys!" Rosey questioned the air. "Where'd you all go?" Back at their homes, the group relaxed, except Roses, who immediately packed and moved to Budapest to get away from the others. << Chapter 17 Back to Home Epilogue |