Actually there are six of us... younger than him... a sister older than me, two younger brothers, one adopted brother and one adopted sister.. The story behind my older brother being given up for adoption is a sad story... terrible in fact... as many of the stories are... And the more I search and learn the more certain I am that this adoption was illegal... not that the adoptive parents knew of any of that when they adopted him..
Anyway... When I found out that my brother was out there... I instantly had a deep seated NEED to find him... I seem to have a very hard time dealing with the fact that I do not know his name... It bothers me so much to not be able to say his name when I talk about him... I have started writing him letters about my search efforts so that when I do meet him.. he can read them and know that I love him... But the letters start with "dearest brother"... and it should say his name there..
I worry that he may be out there.. alone.. with no family... (Mom was told the a-parents were an older couple)... I think about what he might be doing.. and whether or not he might have a wife and children... I worry that he might have been one of the wonderful fellows in the military that were killed in Dessert Storm... (as Mom was told the couple was in the airforce and he might have followed them into the military)
I daydream about finding him... what it will be like... since I got onto the net I have heard many stories.. some good and some not so good.. and some that tear out my heart.... so I wonder what kind of story we will have... Our mother has so many fears and worries he will hate her for giving him up... And I wish to find him for her... to start the healing process... She has been the most wonderful mother anyone could ask for... and she has done so much for me over the years... I would do anything to ease her sorrow..
I pray at night that he is alright... and that my efforts will pay off one of these days... I have created a page dedicated to trying to find him...
http://www.fortunecity.com/millenium/firemansam/89/
And I have also started collecting all the adoption search sites I can find on the net and putting them on my links page... it is here...
http://www.fortunecity.com/millenium/bigears/160/index.html
I hope this links page makes it easier for other people who are starting out and are as clueless about the internet as I was... I did not have a computer ... But when I started trying to search I found out I kinda had to have one... It's difficult for me to afford this.. But I need to do everything I can to find my brother..
Before I close ... I would like to put some of the basic information I have here.. in case people do not go to my info page... *S* My brother was born on 12-3-63 at the Fort Fairfield Hospital in Presque Isle, ME. The doctor ( if you want to call him that) was Pine(he is now dead) and the lawyer was (if you want to call him that!!!) Bruce Billings. Both the doc and lawyer were from Limestone, ME. (the lawyer is still ther I am told) If anyone happens across this letter and might have info they can e-mail me at: lia_li@hotmail.com
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