Being Loved, And Knowing It!
How I came to know my Heavenly Fathers love, deep down heart felt love.
I had read many times in the scriptures that I was loved by my Heavenly
Father. Some how deep down I didn't know it in my heart. For me because of many
hurts from others, I didn't feel any self confidence. I guess this went over to
other areas of feeling loved as well, and I didn't really know it.
Back in 1984 we moved our mobile home out to an acre of land in the country.
It was raw land, and we had to clear it, put in culvert, and utilities. One
afternoon along about dusk dark my husband was working to put a culvert in. I
was washing dishes, and listening to a religious program on the television.
The preacher was really on a roll with his message. I was on washing dishes,
and saying yes to what he was saying as it was right according to the
scriptures I had read. He was talking about how our Father takes the down and
out, and takes them in as His kids. Oh it sounded so good what he was saying.
Then he said, God takes the refuse, the poor, the divorced the down and out
and calls them for His kids, He loves you! I shouted Yes he does when he said,
' God loves you!" I had agreed with the word! It was like heaven itself opened
up! Something happened in me. A release. A feeling of being free.
Very shortly after that happened my husband came in with our son. His dad
hardly ever spanked him for anything as it upset me so bad. I had been abused
in that way as a child, and I had a hard time dealing with it. I at the time
was sitting down and unpacking things and putting them in a cabinet. I was
talking to Yahweh / God at the same time. This was the conversation: "Yahweh,
I wish I could take his spanking. Only that would not do him any good at all."
I was near tears over it. Then it was like in my heart, without any words He
started to talk to me.
It was something like this from that point on. "Now you know how much I love
you. Now you know how much my son loved you. I let Him die, get your spanking,
for what you did. What you did deserved death. He loved you enough to take
your spanking for you. The difference is you had to promise to not do those
things anymore. Your spanking would have been eternal death. Now you know how
much we both love you." Deep in my spirit something was happening. A fresh
new sweet feeling I had never felt before was there. I finished what I had to
do and went outside in the night and sat beside a stump that we were burning.
I felt like I didn't weigh an ounce. I felt like I was going to drift off up
into the night air. It was such a beautiful feeling.
The next day I was still being effected by all of it. When my husband got
home I grabbed him by the collar and told him, "Yahweh loves me, He really
loves me!" Tears were streaming down my cheeks. He looked at me and told me.
"Yes, and I love you too!" Those words from him were very weighty. Why would
anyone love me?
I would tell my Father, "I wish you could love me like you loved your Son. I
can not imagine being loved like you love Him." Then one night I sat by the
window reading, and jotting down thoughts and verses that meant a lot to me.
It was late at night. The night air felt so good, the night creatures were
singing, and I was really enjoying my "me" time. I saw this verse. I love you
like I love my Son. My Son loves you like I love Him. I sat there staring at
those words. I read them and reread them. He did love me to the same
depth He loved His Son? His Son loves me like His Father loves Him?
ME?
Now I know He loves me. Not because the Bible tells me so, but because He
told me so.
©Mary Bierman, Mary's Treasures. Not for sale. This article may
only be copied with permission, as is, with this all this information attached to it . E-mail mlbierman@oocities.com
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