I Want To Apply For Being A Wife

I married the very day I was 17. It was my choice not my Father in heavens choice. I married not willing take the advice of those with wisdom. Needless to say their predictions took its course. He left me for some one much older. There I was at the age of 18, having been told that once you married there was no Biblical reason for ever for remarriage.

At the age of 23 I had no hope for a future, and to make it worse I had a bad health. It was during the fall of l965 that I just wanted to die. I wanted to just stop living. Hopeless was a word without enough meaning. One day I sat there writing a note about wanting to die. I was so out of it emotionally I asked for the world to stop, and just let me step off. I sat there and cried out, "God why am I alive?"

I saw some information in a book. I went to the Bible to prove it wrong. I knew it was in Matthew. My Father in heaven hid that information to me, but He started talking to me. It was like being in a dark room then the light turned on. Nothing had changed in my life physically, but my world, due to His being in it was one of pure joy! Looking back I can see that it was the Holy Spirit ministering to me. Oh by the way, Mat. 1:18 is the verse I could not find!

I went form 1965 to 1974 loving my Father in heaven, but just existing otherwise. Families do not really understand what it is like for a widow or a divorcee. Most times no one wants to include them in things. When a job was needed to be done they were always called on, and there ready to help.

I had no hope of ever having a husband, children, or grand children. It hurt more than I can tell you. Here the boy I had married, had committed adultery against me, and had all I could never have. I was innocent in it all yet it felt like a punishment. I just finally after years broke down and cried. I would be faithful to my belief.

About 6 weeks before the FOT a lady came up to me in services. She told me she was going to tell me how to pray for a husband! I looked at her and thought, Oh yeah? This is what she told me. You go to the Father and tell Him all the assets you have to be a wife. I looked at her and told her I didn't have any! I didn't have any self confidence at all. It had been stripped from me. I had been told by the minister. Now we have you gutted, we can rebuild you. Add that to a bad marriage.

She asked me if I would be faithful to him? Would I love him? Yes was my answers to her. Then this is what you do she told me. Go in prayer and tell the Father that some where in this world there is someone that needs you exactly like you are. Someone that you need exactly like he is. Would he bring you together. Then you get your wedding shoes ready because if it is His will you will be getting married.