Quotes Page 2


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'Love' is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
I can resist anything but temptation
Oscar Wilde.
The day was incredibly long. Longer than any day has a right to be.
"If anyone should feel the need to fantasize about me, go ahead"
Orlando Bloom
Candy is dandy, but diamonds just might get you laid
I don't give a fuck. God sent me to piss the world of.
Eminem
“It must be acknowledged mistakes were made during our shock and awe campaign, the main one being calling it ‘the shock and awe campaign.’ I objected to that title but I was outvoted. I wanted to call it ‘Tango and Cash’ but there were some legal problems.”
Saturday Night Live
"It's a chance to lean about people and what makes them tick, to learn about
society and life and what it all means. But with action and a whore!"
Joss Whedon
Just then, Mal wanders in to give us a spoonful of exposition to make the shirtlessness last longer. He reminds Jayne that we're heading for Canton, and that they don't allow guns there. Or what? So they're heading down there on some probably illegal mission, and Mal's worried about violating their gun laws? Whatever. I mean, you would think that Mal would actually encourage them to have concealed weapons, because it would give them an advantage in the event of a confrontation. But I guess I'm not a good enough person to be an outlaw in the future.
Television without pity
He limps over to the drawer and pulls another needle of adrenaline out. Then he plunges the needle into his own chest and presses the plunger. He has spasms on the cot. I understand that this would have actually killed Mal if he had done it in real life, so kids, if you get shot in the stomach, don't just inject a gigantic needle full of adrenaline into your heart. Go see a doctor. This has been your TWoP public service announcement.
Television without pity
Mal: Which one you figure tracked us?
Zoe: The ugly one
Mal: Could you be more specific?
Out of Gas
The woman writhes off, probably to wash all that dust off of her, and the camera focuses on the three folks sitting at the table. They are: the guy who played Johnny on Two Guys and a Girl; the woman who played Sydney's first nemesis on Alias; and Adam Baldwin (whom some of you may recall as Noel Roaawwwrr on The X-Files).

Now I must confess, I've had a mad crush on Adam Baldwin for years. So you may ask yourself, "Will this affect Shack's objectivity and judgment in his recaps? Will his normal level of sarcasm be compromised every time Adam swaggers his way into a scene, with his effortless, beefy masculinity and charismatic smile that says, 'I'm a naughty, naughty boy -- and you love it,' while his eyes sparkle with a charm that he tries to pretend doesn't exist? Well? Will it?" Yes. Yes it will. Shut up.
Television without pity.
My only love sprung from my only hate
Shakespeare
"You know what they say about payback? Well, I'm the bitch."
Angel
Buffy:Get up and get out of this basement.
He looks around, becoming more lucid. Fresh tears begin to flow.
Spike:(softly) I don't have anywhere else to go.
Buffy: You have everywhere else to go. Because there's no place worse than where you are right now.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
When she was dear to us, we did hold her so; But now her price is fallen
King Lear
"Ginger Rogers did everything that Fred Astaire did. She just did it backwards and in high heels."
"'Who will mind the baby?' cried one of our public men, in great agony of spirit, 'when the mother goes to vote?' One woman replied that she thought she could get the person that minded it when she went to pay her taxes-which seemed to be a fairly reasonable proposition"
Nellie McClung (Suffragist, writing during the Votes for Women Campaign)
"Funny how just when you think life can't possibly get any worse it suddenly does."
Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy
An loud alarm is heard.
Zoe: “Proximity alert. We must be coming up on something.”
Wash: “Oh my God! What could it be? We're all doomed! Who's flying this thing? (pause) Oh, right, that would be me. Back to work.”
Firefly
Jayne: “You know what the chain of command is? It's the chain I go get and beat you with 'til you understand who's in ruttin' command here!”
Firefly
Simon: “What are we doing?”
Kaylee: “Oh, crime!”
Simon: “Crime! Good.”
Firefly
Zoe: “He's a psycho, you know. Niska.”
Mal: “He's not the first psycho to hire us, or the last. You think that's a commentary on us?”
Zoe: “I just have an image in my head of a guy hanging from the ceiling.”
Mal: “I got an image of it not being me.”
Firefly
Saffron: Are you gonna kill me?
Mal: What! What kind of crappy planet is that. Kill you?!
Saffron: In the maidens home I heard talk of men who werent pleased pleased with their brides...
Mal: Well I ain't them and don't you ever stand for that sort of thing. Someone tries to kill you. You kill them right back.
Firefly
Mal:How drunk was I last night?
Jayne: I don't know I passed out.
Firefly
"I don't know what kind of weapons will be used in the third world war, assuming there will be a third world war. But I can tell you what the fourth world war will be fought with sticks and stones."
Albert Einstein
Burt Wilson: I thought you said that if we destroyed the brain, it would die.
Frank Nello: It worked in the movie!
Burt Wilson: Well it ain't working now Frank.
Freddy Travis: You mean the movie lied?
Return Of The Living Dead.
"I can't promise that I'll do it, and I can't even promise that I'll try. But I'll try to try."
Bart Simpson
It's a chance to lean about people and what makes them tick, to learn about society and life and what it all means. But with action and a whore!
Joss Whedon talking about Firefly
I'm the one who date dead guys. And no offense but they were hotties.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer,
Willow: This is so frustrating.
Oz: Nothing useful?
Willow: No, it's great. If we wanna make ferns invisible or communicate with shrimp, I've got the goods right here.
Oz: Our lives are different than other people's.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
I interrupt the story I'm hearing to ask if Rollins is a Sly Stallone fan.
"In the jungle I'd be wearing Stallone's finger bones in my nose and his women would be wearing my colors," he says.
"In Hollywood, though, the son of a bitch will always get work."
Henry Rollins
I can tell you with no ego, this is my finest sword.
If on your journey, you should encounter God, God will be cut.
Script from Kill Bill
There are two kinds of women and you, as we well know, are not the first kind.
Komarovsky, Doctor Zhivago
“Good... Bad... I'm the guy with the gun.”
Army of Darkness
"Did you ever walk into a room and forget why you walked in? I think that is how dogs spend their lives."
Sue Murphy
"I think animal testing is a terrible idea; they get all nervous and give the wrong answers."
Unknown
"Women and cats will do as they please and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea."
Robert A. Heinlein
Why does everything I like cause brain damage in mice.
Do not believe those who tell you that you cannot do something. That is just their opinion. It is not your reality.
Lisa: I still believe in protecting animal's rights, but that still doesn't excuse what I did. I'm sorry for wrecking your barbecue, dad.
Homer: That's okay, honey. I used to believe in things too.
The Simpsons
Stephanie to Tom Cruise: You know that movie where you danced around in your underwear?
David Letterman: Risky buisness, what is the question Stephanie?
Stephanie: I was just wondering if you where going to make any other movies where you dance around in your underwear.
Heard on David Letterman.
My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first being hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint.
Erma Bombeck
I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once.
Jennifer Unlimited
Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Ozzy Osbourne to his kids: I love you all. I love you more than life itself, but you're all FUCKING MAD!
The Osbournes.
Ozzy Osbourne to his wife Sharon when he see's the bubbles machine at his concert: Bubbles! Oh come on Sharon! I'm fucking Ozzy Osbourne, I'm the Prince of fucking Darkness.
The Osbournes.
If I had to live my life again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner.
Tallulah Bankhead
Nobody can be exactly like me. Even I have trouble doing it.
Tallulah Bankhead
(on seeing a former lover for the first time in years) I thought I told you to wait in the car.
Tallulah Bankhead
"The good people sleep much better at night than the bad people. Of course, the bad people enjoy the waking hours much more."
Woody Allen
GILES:Very amusing.
(smiling at Dawn)
I bet Dawn feels like that with her school work sometimes.
BUFFY: Hey, Dawn. That true? How was school today?
DAWN: The usual. A big square building filled with boredom and despair.
GILES: Dear god, Buffy, there's only so much I can take. We're going to have to change the system. A fourteen-year-old's too old to be babysat, and it's not fair on her.
BUFFY: (nods, grins) What'd she make you do?
GILES: Um, well, we listened to aggressively cheerful music sung by people chosen for their ability to dance ... then we ate cookie dough and talked about boys.
"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
Dave Barry
O: When your actors get questions like that in interviews(when asked for spoilers), they always seem to answer with horrific threats: "I can't tell, Joss will rip out my tongue and feed it to wolves," and so forth. Do they actually get these threats from you?
JW: I'm a very gentle man, not unlike Gandhi. I don't ever threaten them. There is, sort of hanging over their head, the thing that I could kill them at any moment. But that's really just if they annoy me.
Joss Whedon (crator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer)
Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.
"Me and my girl, we're not just the new thing in town - we're the only thing in town. And we're in the market for some... Well, one doesn't really want to use the term 'muscular slaves...'
Darla on Angel, Redefinition
Joyce: Uh-huh. So, what do you think your teachers are gonna tell me about?
Buffy: Well, I think they'll all agree that I always bring a pen to class, ready to absorb the knowledge.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
WILLOW: We're not going to have to do that at the wedding, are we? 'Cause there's this last thread of dignity I've been desperately clinging to.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
WILLOW: (snaps out of it) A-and they had other stuff, you know, Razor scooters, and pictures of the Vulcan woman on "Enterprise."
XANDER: Ooh! (chuckles, rubs his hands together, then sees Anya's expression) I mean ... nerds.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Willow: Yeah, he just started. He was a curator at some British museum, or, or The British Museum, I'm not sure. But he knows everything, and he brought all these historical volumes and biographies, and am I the single dullest person alive?
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Buffy: (exhales) Musta been wonderful. Put on some fantabulous gown and go to a ball like a princess, and have horses and servants, and yet more gowns.
Willow: Yeah. Still, I think I prefer being able to vote.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Buffy: (holding the ax) Do we really need weapons for this?
Spike: I just like them. They make me feel all manly.
Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
"Do you know how to kill this thing?"
"I thought I might try violence!"
Buffy the Vampire Slayer
"What makes your problems bigger than everybody else's?"
"They're mine!"
Ally
Spike: (appears behind them) *You* were *there*? (chuckles) Oh, please! If every vampire who said he was at the crucifixion was actually there, it would have been like Woodstock.
Vampire#1: I oughta rip your throat out.
Spike: (turns his back to him and strolls away) I was actually at Woodstock. That was a weird gig. I fed off a flowerperson, and I spent the next six hours watchin' my hand move.
Drusilla: I don't believe in science. All those bits and molecules no one's ever seen. I trust eyes and heart alone. And do you know what mine are singing out now? You're a killer. Born to slash and bash and bleed like beautiful poetry. No little tinkertoy ever could stop you from flowing.
Spike: Yeah... But - the pain, love. You don't understand, it's searing, blinding...
Drusilla: All in your head. I can see it. Little bit of plastic spiderwebbing out nasty blue shocks - and every one, is a lie. Electricity lies, Spike. It tells you you're not a bad dog. But you are.
- BtVS, Crush
I'm saying Spike had a little trip to the vet and now he doesn't chase the other puppies anymore
- Spike about his implant in Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
Playing dead really doesn’t work when the bear is already eating you.
Discovery
Let war come in my lifetime, so my children may have peace.
Thomas Paine.
-Do you know the difference between us is Violet?
-No
-Me neither
Bound
Tales as old as time.
Everybody who’s not me suck.
Dennis Leary
In the heat of the night.
I still dream of Jeannie.
Did you see what God did to me.
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
Life is what happens when your busy making other planes.
John Lennon
Denial is an old friend and comfortable to be around.
Earth had boundaries, but human stupidity is limitless
Gustave Flanbert
“What the hell is wrong with him?”
“My first guess would be a… lot”
Con Air
“If a word in the dictionary was misspelled, how would we know?”
Steven Wright
“True friendship comes when silence between two people is comfortable
David Tyson Gentry
History will be kind to me because I intend to write it.
Winston Churchill
Get busy living or get busy dying.
That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
Frederic Nietzsche
Some people are alive only because it is illegal to kill them
Life’s a bitch- but so am I
Courage is gritting one’s teeth; it is simply doing that and pushing ahead, paying no attention to the circumstances.
Hagakura
Stress: The confusion created when the mind overrides the body’s desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.
Forgive your enemies, but don’t forget their names. <
Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody -- maybe even disliking them a lot -- and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire. It was a difference which kept the vast majority of the population alive from day to day.
Doughlas Adams
"It is not the fall that kills you. It's the sudden stop at the end."
Doughlas Adams
The ships hung in the air, the exact same way that bricks don't.
Doughlas Adams
If you do the job badly enough, sometimes you don't get asked to do it again.
Calvin and Hobbes
Reality continues to ruin my life
Calvin and Hobbes
A fanatic is someone who can't change his mind and won't change the subject.
Winston Churchill
Sometimes I lie awake at night in my bed and I watch the stars, and I wonder, where the fuck is my ceiling?
The way to a man's heart is through his chest cavity with a chainsaw
The thing women have got to learn is that nobody gives you power. You just take it.
I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
'Manhatten Murder Mystery'
God grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the Courage to change the things I can, and the Wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill because they pissed me off.
Thousands of years ago, cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this
Do you get pleasure out of receiving pain? - It's called masochism Do you get pleasure out of hurting people? - It's called sadism Do you enjoy tieing up masochists and then refusing to hurt them? - It's called cruel
Back in my US Army days I actually heard someone (my Plt. Sgt IIRC) use fuck in all parts of speach in the same sentence:
Fuck! The fucking fuckers fucking fucked! Fuck!
What he meant by this is: Darn, The M60 7.62mm machine gun is badly broken. I am not pleased.
:)~ I only drool a little
8> I have all the cognitive powers of a hypnotized chicken
x--:o Heck, no! I am a heterosexual Teletubbie. You want the one with the triangle on his head.
A story about Groucho Marx. He was introduced to a seance of some sort, and he was told that any question that he had would be answered. He asked, "What is the capital of North Dakota
My Clone Did It!
I do whatever the voices in my head tell me to do.
Welcome to Losersville Population: You.
I hate everybody, and you're next.
In dog years, I'm dead.
HELP I'm ON-LINE and can't QUIT!
I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
It's as bad as you think it is, and they ARE out to get you.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
When there's a will, I want to be in it.
We are born naked, wet, and hungry. Then things get worse.
Very funny Scotty, now beam down my clothes!!
Beam me up Scotty, there's no intelligent life down here.
Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?
LOSING: If at first you don't succeed, failure may be your style.
Avoid hangovers, stay drunken.
There were computers in biblical times, Eve had an apple.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?
Don't play stupid with me, I'm better at it!
We come in peace. Shoot to kill.
Suicide Hotline...please hold.
I don't care who you are fatso, get the reindeer off my roof!
Trespassers will be shot, survivors will be shot again.
If you think sex is a pain in the ass, you're doing it wrong.
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
I have given a name to my pain, and it is Batman.
Armed, dangerous, and off my medication.
Yes, as a matter of fact, I do own the whole damn road.
If it can't be fixed with Vise-Grips & duct tape, it can't be fixed.
Mary had a little lamb, the doctor was surprised.
Nice underwear. Perhaps you should take them off your head.
What part of my brilliance don't you understand?
You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.
You're the computer, you tell ME where the file is!
...And that's why God invented grenade launchers!
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, & unlimited power!
I have PMS and a gun, did you say something?
If cats always land on their feet, and buttered bread always lands butter-side down, what would happen if you buttered bread on the back of a cat?
Always remember you're unique, just like everybody else
Oh sure! But what's the speed of dark?
When a cow laughs, does milk come out its nose?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Never Underestimate the Power of Stupid People in Large Groups
Shit happens. But why does so much of it happen to me?
Stress: The confusion created when the mind overrides the body's desire to choke the living shit out of some asshole who desperately needs it.
Make it idiot proof and someone will create a better idiot
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies.
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
Jesus is coming, look busy
Dogs come when you call; cats have answering machines.
Do not disturb. I am already quite disturbed, thank you.
Handwritten on a condom machine, "this gum tastes funny."
Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
Good Girls go to heaven. Bad girls go everywhere...
I am not A Bitch,I am THE Bitch and MISS Bitch to you.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished.
If you shoot a mime should you use a silencer?
Your village called, their idiot is missing...
Eagles may fly, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines
Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now
Movie Rule #5: At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.
Movie Rule #8: If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.


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