Right from the get-go things are bad. Burt Young (The bald buddy in the ROCKY series) plays General Noriega, who decides that amongst a pile of pornography tapes, he'd rather watch something called "The Unsinkable Shecky Moskowitz" which unfolds before his (and, sadly, our) eyes. Bad move General! Sure something like his other choice, "Rub Me Raw," may have been sleazy, tasteless, and completely lacking in erotic content. But at least it would have contained more laughs and a better plot than "Shecky," which is about as funny as a 6 hour speech on why you should buy a timeshare. Even the credits for OVERBOARD are wrong. What does the one that reads "Adam Sandler as GOING OVERBOARD!" mean?

The rest of the action in GOING OVERBOARD takes place aboard a cruise ship filled with beauty pageant contestants. Shecky, played by Sandler, talks directly to the camera as he arrives at the boat and tells us that the filmmakers had a boat full of women and some cameras and figured - what the hell! - let's make a terrible movie. Having the ability to make a movie is no excuse for making one, even one this bad. I had the ability to strangle the former roommate of mine who accused me of being an abnormal human being, but that doesn't mean I went and did it. No, I had the tact and restraint to urinate in his coffee cup when he wasn't looking. GOING OVERBOARD could learn a lesson or two from my good manners.

To be honest, I'd rather not recount more of the plot, because it would be a monumental waste of our time. I will say though that I rather liked the point in the film where General Noriega sent some goons to go find the woman who insulted him on the tape of "The Unsinkable Shecky Moskowitz." Soon Noriega is watching his own men on the television, running around the cruise ship with machine guns. Oh and bravo to Billy Zane for willingly playing Neptune, the god of the sea, in a blue, gauzy blouse and short shorts. And to Milton Berle for proving there is no depth he won't sink to, in a scene where he gives Shecky, a terrible standup comedian, some jokes to use in his act. For Berle, infamous for stealing material from other comedians, this was some sort of karmic payback.