The first in the series of unnecessary HIGHLANDER sequels was HIGHLANDER 2: THE QUICKENING, a film so bad it is no longer available in its original theatrical cut. Instead, the director, so dissatisfied with the original that he walked out on the premiere, recut the film, adding about twenty minutes of footage and dubbing it “The Renegade Version.” As a film purist I insisted on seeing a film so bad it had been deemed a public health risk by Mr. Russell Mulcahy so I hunted down a copy. My unedited initial reaction was, as follows:

“END! PLEASE! END NOW! JUST GIVE IT UP! END ALREADY!”

Throwing caution and the first movie to the wind, Mulcahy and his small legion of screenwriters decide that the race of Highlanders are, in fact, aliens, not the earthbound race as was originally believed. Apparently, MacLeod simply forgot he was an alien until about thirty years after his final battle when, as the smartest, richest, most bored man on Earth, he hears voices in his head shouting “Remember MacLeod!” Once assured he hasn’t left his iron on, being an alien is the only other option.

The year is 2025, and an old decrepit Connor MacLeod is responsible for saving the earth, by replacing the depleted ozone layer with a huge piece of multicolored taffy, but as a result made it permanently night time. Back on MacLeod’s Scottish home planet of Zeist, the aliens are pissed that he’s having such a swinging time down on Earth, so they teleport here and fight him. Naturally the 75 year old man overpowers and humiliates the agile aliens, even dismembering one with a large wire - which somehow pushes the alien’s head off his neck - and regains his youth thanks to The Quickening, the power released when a Highlander is beheaded.

Now suddenly, with immortals (actually aliens who are only immortal when they are on Earth) back on the planet, MacLeod's powers return, a disappointing fact since as old MacLeod’s face appeared to be melting off his skull and he talked like he was on a respirator. As a young guy, he just has a receding hairline an accent like Ren from REN & STIMPY (“Connery, you EEEEDIOT!”). So the immortal aliens, who are immortal only while they are on earth, and mortal on Zeist, until they come to Earth where they become immortal but become compelled to fight to the death until one chops the other’s head off, but not on holy ground, even though they are aliens who do not believe in Earth religions, decide MacLeod needs to be killed. Thankfully, MacLeod has help in the form of Connery, who plays Ramirez, an Egyptian guy from Spain who talks in a Scottish accent. Now Ramirez was killed in the first movie, but by merely saying his name, he returns. This whole immortal on earth until head is chopped off rule is not all that hard and fast.