"ITVR: Chapter 19"
Confessions.
By Jadedoll, Penumbren, & Raising Kane
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Scott wasn't sure what to think at the moment. He'd heard Kev's muffled groan, but other than the fading of the pink in his cheeks, he hadn't shown much of a reaction so far. Of course Kev's reactions to pretty much everything had been atypical since they'd left the room earlier. And just because Scott happened to turn into a clinging mess every time they had one of their little scenes did not mean that Kev was going to react that way. He knew better actually. Kev was so damn controlled all the time that sometimes it just drove Scott nuts, the only exception to the rule being Big Sexy's infamous temper. Kev had pretty much ignored the lingering effects that Scott knew had to be present. Hell he would have bet his job that Kevin's ass had still been that spectacular shade of cherry beneath his jeans even on the elevator ride down. If it were Scott in that position, he'd have insisted on sticking to the room and cuddling up in Kevin's arms... hell he'd bet that Kevin would have insisted as well. Instead, Kevin had been the one to suggest leaving the room for breakfast without any indication he was sore until there was direct contact with the affected area... and even that he had tried to stifle. Maybe that's why he'd tried so damn hard to make Kev blush... to help him realize that he didn't always have to hold those reins so tight. Then again, maybe Scott had taken it too far. He felt kind of bad about the method of his teasing... using the waitress had been a bit much, even if he didn't regret the results. Kevin's abnormal quietness and uneasiness was starting to make him wonder. The hand dropping onto his shoulder almost had Scott shooting out of his seat for a split second until he recognized the touch as Kevin's. "... After we spend a little more time together." If he hadn't heard the odd note in Kev's voice, he'd have made the same assumption anyone else would have on hearing Kevin's words, but Scott knew that this wasn't about sex... at least not about sex they hadn't had yet. Maybe Kev had finally figured out that he didn't have to be an impervious wall of strength all the time... not this time around. Scott didn't even attempt to pretend like he wasn't in a hurry to get out of there. The sooner they were back in their room with Kev in his arms, the happier he'd be. Digging into his breakfast with uncommon vigor, he finished his just as Kevin was finishing his own. Wiping his mouth with a napkin and tossing it on the table, he reached for his wallet and tossed a handful of green into the middle of the table. There was enough there to cover all of their breakfasts along with a healthy tip for the very helpful waitress. "I just remembered that I left the bag with my ring gear in the limo last night. I was a little distracted after what happened with Nitro," he said with a smirk in Eddie's direction. "I'm hoping Sean and Glen grabbed it for me, but if not I need to track it down before our flight. So if you gentlemen will excuse us...?" Pushing his chair back and standing up, waiting for Kevin to join him, Scott smiled at the pair on the opposite side of the table. "It was nice talking to you two. We'll have to do it again some time... unless Chris is worried we'll rub off on you or something," he said with a wink before turning to Kevin. "You ready to go, Kev?" Scott fought down the impulse to grab Kevin's hand and drag him off to the room. He'd already made a big enough spectacle of them with the waitress and in front of Chris and Eddie. Holding Kev's hand in the restaurant would be tantamount to announcing their relationship to everyone there. He wasn't quite that far gone yet. Instead he waited patiently for Kev to say his good-byes as well and then followed him to the elevator. Scott thought that they were going to be lucky enough to have the elevator all to themselves once again, but at the last moment a young couple joined them in the small space. They were both grinning like loons and Scott suppressed a groan. Obviously they were fans... not something Scott particularly wanted to deal with right now. The girl was fairly bouncing in place and Scott thought she was going to burst before the guy finally spoke. "We are such huge fans. Would you mind signing an autograph for us?" Scott pasted on a show smile as he looked at the girl who had produced a notebook and a pen. "Sure... anything for a fan. Who should I make it out to?" Scott reached for the book and the pen, almost dropping both when the guy spoke again. "You didn't hurt yourself last night did ya Mr. Nash? You seemed to be moving a little slow just now. We watch every week and we'd really miss seeing you on next week's show." Scott wasn't sure whether to laugh or cry. He was pretty sure that Kevin would not be amused, but at least he had a ready-made excuse with the condition of his knees. **** The bed shifted under him from Chris' added weight and he shivered knowing that he was so close to having what he wanted... what his body and soul were craving. His heart sped up a beat as he looked into Chris' eyes. He saw the obvious desire and some other emotion that he was almost scared to put a name to just on the chance that he was wrong. Then Chris slanted his mouth over Adam's and he let himself be drawn into the sweet welcoming heat of Chris' mouth. He ran his hands gently down Chris' ribs to his hips as their tongues danced slowly together. His quiet whine was muffled by Chris' mouth when he felt the slick length of Chris' cock glide along his thigh. If he weren't totally addicted to the taste of Chris' sweet mouth he'd have pulled away and begged Chris to take him when he felt the gentle touch of Chris' hot cock brushing against his sensitive entrance. Since Chris seemed intent on feeding his addiction, Adam settled for an insistent moan, which was swallowed by Chris' mouth. One burning glide later and Chris was right where Adam had wanted him, claiming his body with his hot rigid length. Fuck that had hurt, but then he'd expected the pain, it having been so long since he'd participated in this particular activity. The burn started to fade almost immediately, overshadowed by the other feelings trying to claim a piece of his scattered mind. His heavy breaths mingled with Chris' as he fought the overwhelming urge to squirm underneath him. Instead he tried to concentrate on the lovely feeling of fullness and the way Chris' body felt pressed so close to his. When Chris finally started moving, he couldn't control his responses. He barely heard Chris' question over the roar of his blood rushing through his veins. If he had been able to speak, he might have tried to answer said question, but he was tongue-tied between the sweet sensation of Chris thrusting into his ass and the slight bit of embarrassment that he'd said such a thing. He consoled himself with the thought that he'd hardly been coherent after enduring the sensually charged experience of Chris' talented tongue. Then that same talented tongue was once again in contact with his own and he ceased any efforts to try to talk at all, settling for lusty moans and un-tempered whines to get his point across. As Chris' hand wrapped around his swollen throbbing shaft, he shuddered, his eyelids drifting closed of their own volition as he moaned desperately. As Chris increased his pace, plunging even deeper inside him, Adam gave up any attempt to control his reactions to the pleasure. It was so good... too good for him to want to put limits on it and honestly he didn't want to hold back with Chris. He allowed every emotion he was feeling to show clearly on his face, in his eyes. Desire, lust, need, hope, and the love he'd kept buried for so long, having been sure that Chris wouldn't want nor need it. Adam welcomed the tongue plunging into his mouth so deeply, so desperately. A particularly intense thrust against his sweet spot had him hovering on the precipice. Chris' fingers stroking along his length pushed him right over and into pure unadulterated bliss, Chris' mouth muffling his shout of release. He barely managed to open his eyes in time to look into Chris' as he found his own release. So blue... deep enough to drown in. As Chris collapsed against him, Adam forced his lethargic arms to move, letting one hand fall gently on the swell of Chris' hip as the other moved to stroke gently through his still damp locks. He didn't want to move from this spot. Adam would be quite content if they stayed just like this for the little bit that was left of the night and the rest of the next day. **** "You ready to go, Kev?" Was he? Hell, he'd been ready to go ever since he'd started realising just how much he'd been pushing away. Kevin rose to his feet as Scott dropped money on the table, forcing himself to ignore the pain. He saw the look in Scott's eyes and knew that his lover had guessed more than he'd realised. Once again, Scotty was proving himself to be the more insightful of the pair. Kev's lips curved just a bit at the thought, well aware of his own shortcomings in the area of interpersonal communication. Nodding at Eddie and Chris, he headed for the elevators, trying to keep his hands at his sides. They were almost itching with the need to wrap around Scott, the intensity of it taking Kevin by surprise. He'd obviously assumed too much this morning, and just how wrong he'd been in assuming that everything was fine and normal was making itself known more and more with every step he took. The need to be in Scott's arms, to feel his lover reassuring him... that was new. Very new. Moving as quickly as he could, the stiffness in his knees as well as the burning ache in his ass, made far worse by sitting in that damned chair for the last hour, made him a little awkward as he walked. Punching the button for their floor as Scotty followed him into the elevator, he was about to turn around and pull Scott into his arms when the doors abruptly slid open again. He bit back a disbelieving groan as the two fans bounced into the elevator, trying to stay out of the way and not say anything. He loved their fans, but he so didn't need this right now! He was half-afraid that he was going to go to pieces on Scott once they were alone together, with this growing emotional disturbance that he could feel creeping up on him. Now, rather than being in Scott's arms, he was signing autographs for kids who probably hadn't even been allowed to watch wrestling when he'd been in his prime. "You seemed to be moving a little slow just now." Oh good God. He was not going to blush again, he was not. Shaking his head and forcing a smile to his lips, he said gruffly, "Just my knees, acting up again. They do that." He took the pen from Scott, trembling a little as their fingers brushed together. Casting a quick glance at his lover, he knew that his reaction hadn't been missed. The almost calculating look in Scotty's eyes told him that he was in for it when they reached the room. Scott had always told him that he needed to loosen his control, that he didn't need to pull his shields up around him all the time... and it looked like he'd just been caught doing exactly that. Quickly signing the notebook and passing it and the pen back to the girl, Kevin waited impatiently for their floor. The couple didn't get off before them, to his complete lack of surprise. Murphy was apparently trying to kick him while he was down, putting him in an elevator with Scott and unable to touch him with two fans giggling and staring the entire time. He knew he was probably coming off as arrogant and growly, but he really didn't give a damn. All he wanted was to get back to the privacy of their own room. He had no idea what he was going to do once they were there, but he knew it would involve Scott, a lot of snuggling, and probably some stern lecturing from his lover. When the doors finally pinged, he was out the door before they had even slid open all the way, and Scott wasn't far behind him. Glancing back, he could see the fans still watching them, and rolled his eyes as he turned around, heading as quickly as he could toward their room. Stopping by the door, he looked around as Scott swiped the keycard. Not seeing anyone, he moved behind Scotty as his lover pushed the door open. Waiting until the door had closed behind them, he wrapped his arms around the darker man from behind, holding him tightly, dropping his head to rest on his shoulder. "I'm a fucking idiot, Scott, and I'm sorry." His voice was muffled, and he could feel that damned trembling return. "But... right now..." He paused. God, this was hard. This was Scott, for crying out loud; he should be able to tell him anything... but this was different. This was... new. For some reason, they'd hit a level of intensity this morning that he'd never gone past before, even with their more carefully planned-out sessions. Inhaling slowly, he forced himself to calm down a little, taken aback by the emotions starting to batter at him. Dropping his arms reluctantly, he stepped away from Scott and walked toward the bed, his head down as he looked at the floor. Sinking down onto the mattress with a slight gasp, he couldn't seem to raise his eyes to look at his lover. "Scott... I..." His voice faltered, and he felt the bed dip as Scott sat down next to him. Leaning against the other man, feeling his arms come up to embrace him, he laid his head on Scott's shoulder again as he said softly, "Just... don't let me go. Please?" **** He'd really wanted to punch the wall again, just to distract himself from what was going on in the room at the moment. Dave’s arms suddenly around him were unexpected and unwelcome. His words even more so. Hunter didn’t need to be told he was fucking up here, he could see that from the pain in Shawn’s eyes. It just made him even more determined to get them out of here… or him out of here. that doesn't mean it's too late Yes it was... nine years to late. Was Dave really that naïve? Did he think anything could be salvaged from this massacre of their feelings? “Let go,” he muttered to the bigger man, as lances of pain shot from his fingers up his arm. The sharp hurt being minor in comparison to the one that had started last night in a long black car. Much as he'd often speculated on the feel of Dave's arms around him in a non-work environment, this was hardly the time and place he would've chosen. When Shawn hit him however, it was only that strong embrace that kept him on his feet. Almost happy that the other blond had given in to the obvious loathing he now felt, Hunter was tempted to lie back and let Shawn beat the crap out of him. He would only be the first in line when what he'd done got around. But he was just as angry at Shawn. He was the one who’d brought this up, he’d dragged it out of Hunter and now he didn’t like the fucking answer… well tough. He caught just a glimpse of Shawn’s enraged face before the impact of his body sent them tumbling to the floor. His arms were involuntarily pinned by Dave's weight, so he had no defense against Shawn’s rage. The hits were precise and nasty… but Shawn wasn’t the only one who knew how to fight. Twisting his legs around Shawn’s he tried to push the smaller man away. “I don’t blame you for my life you little bastard. Get off… oof...” that one caught him in the midriff. “I blame me.” He was amazed he was so coherent. **** Chris wallowed in the blissful afterglow, like a sleep-in on a Sunday morning. He knew his weight was probably uncomfortable for the man beneath him, but until he received those slight hints of too heavy, too heavy, like a big sigh or an aborted movement, he was staying right here. Long fingers were slowly caressing his sweat-slicked hair and a hand rested on his hip, seemingly to be drawing funny little circles. Chris was rising and falling minutely with each deep breath from the chest he was sprawled across and CJ timed his own inhalations to match. Pretty silly, but he wanted to. Moving his face minutely, he took a lungful of damp neck and licked thoughtfully at the same spot. Not sweet this time, but the salty fresh taste of sex, a delightful flavour that sent shivers down to his toes. Mournfully he felt his softened cock slide out of it's new favorite place and Chris moved his hips just enough so that most of his weight rested on the bed a millimeter from his lover's hip. "Hmmph," he offered as he reached for the still-damp towel and began to clean them slowly and thoughtfully. "Adam Copeland, my darling. I think I should tell you that those were the two best sexual experiences I have had in my entire life." Finished he tossed the towel towards the bathroom and settled in, using one broad shoulder as a not-very-soft pillow. "When we've slept for a bit can we go again?" It wasn't the classiest of seduction lines, but Chris' usual gift of the gab had disappeared somewhere around, "do me now" or words to that effect. Reaching out, Chris traced one finger from the base of Adam's throat to his navel, then back again. "It really didn't bother me when you told me about your recent sexy past, because mine could almost rival it in the meaningless liaison department. When it comes to what happened before tonight I have to say... I just really don't care. If you were hurt... I wish I could have stopped it. If you were happy... I wish I could have shared it. But when all is said and done, it just doesn't matter. If you hadn't been you and experienced what you've had to, good and bad, you might not be here right now. Two years ago we might've sucked at being together because we didn't feel then what we feel now. I don't wish the last year hadn't happened and I certainly don't regret anything in my relationship with you." Well... if he was all Mr. Honesty... "Okay, I regret not having fantastic sex until tonight... but the rest... the build up, I don't regret that. It's just made me happier we're right here... right now." Reaching back to turn off the bedside lamp, Chris tugged up the light blankets and curled himself more comfortably into his new teddy bear. "If you're still awake after I just vented my spleen, then I'm really madly in lust with you and I want to be that way for as long as possible. If you want to give me a chance, I'm sure this could lead to something." Chris shut his eyes wearily. "Something good." CJ tried to hide his tension as he waited for Adam's response. It wouldn't do to dig a hole in the chest of the guy you'd just half-confessed your love to. He tried biting his lower lip instead. **** "Let go" Sorry Hunter, that just isn't going to happen. As much as grabbing a hold of Hunter had turned out to be a bad thing for his own piece of mind, letting go of him would be an even worse mistake. If Hunter didn't end up trying to hurt himself again, there was always the chance he'd get angry enough to go after Shawn. Dave wasn't big on the idea of either of those things happening, so he stayed right where he was, despite the growing feeling of unease he was experiencing. Except he'd forgotten about just how angry Shawn was. Surprised wasn't the word to describe how Dave felt when Shawn turned them both around to face him. "If you'd ever even dropped a hint, a single word..." Dave almost flinched at the anger and pain in Shawn's eyes. He was worried about the anger... Shawn's control was obviously being pushed to his limits. Who knew how he'd choose to vent it once he went past those limits? He felt the pain, though surely not to the degree that Shawn was feeling it. Someone he cared about was hurting and there wasn't a damn thing he could do about it. The only person that could do something about easing that pain was the man in his arms right now... Hunter. If that was what Hunter chose to do. Dave wasn't so sure that would be his choice at the moment, he could still feel the tension radiating through Hunter's rigid frame. He watched as Shawn shook his head, wishing he could reach out to him. He was lulled into a false sense of security by the tears shining in Shawn's eyes. Dave never saw it coming. Even though he saw Shawn's fist flying, he stood there stunned until Hunter's weight slumped against him. He couldn't let go of Hunter, because he was pretty damn sure that once Hunter actually processed what had happened, he'd take a swing of his own. Grabbing Shawn wouldn't solve the problem either... unless he took Shawn from the room and Dave was pretty sure that Shawn wouldn't thank him for doing that. As quickly as he was scouting his options, Shawn was that much quicker. "You bastard... you selfish lying asshole!" Before Dave could implement any of his ideas, Shawn had lunged at Hunter, the impact sent him staggering and suddenly all three of them were falling. Dave was immediately swamped by a feeling of déjà vu and an even stronger feeling of panic. As he hit the ground, both men on top of him, the air whooshed from his chest, forcing him to spend a moment or two trying to get it back. During that moment or two, scenes from his dream flashed through his head. Somehow remembering that his yelling was the turning point in his dream, he snapped his mouth shut, determined not to make a peep, no matter what. He could tell the two were still struggling, or rather Shawn was most likely doing most of the damage, since Dave realized that he still had Hunter's arms pinned, but he couldn't tell for sure since Hunter's hair was dangling in his face. He considered just letting Hunter go and letting the two fight it out, preferably not on top of him. Once again the choice was taken from his hands. He felt the shift of bodies against his groin and while he was trying to suppress his instinctive reaction to that, Hunter's head flew backwards and connected with the bridge of his nose. He turned his head to the side and bit down on his lip to avoid the shout of anger that was close to bubbling out of him, even as he felt the warm trickle of blood on his upper lip. Son of a bitch! He automatically loosened his hold on Hunter's wriggling body; one hand working it's way to his face to try to assess the damage. Oh Vince was just going to love this. He wasn't positive, but he was pretty sure it was broken...the best he could hope for was not having to spend much time in makeup if his eyes happened to blacken as well. Despite his attempts to stem the flow, he could feel a steady drip of blood falling on his neck. So much for having to take the shirt to the dry cleaners. He almost laughed at the inanity of that thought when he realized that the fighting seemed to have stopped. At least the two didn't seem to be rolling around on top of him any more, although their combined weight still had him pinned. He thought he could hear talking, but couldn't make sense of the words with the sudden headache he seemed to have acquired. At that moment, he almost sympathized with Hunter... if he wasn't still buried under the man's weight, he just might have. **** Hunt's legs around him didn't surprise Shawn, as well-acquainted as he was with Hunter's fighting style, and he twisted to keep his position over the other man. He wasn't about to stop now, now that Hunt had finally driven him to this. Nothing else would allow him to release his pain and anger... nothing that could happen now, anyway. He struck again and again, feeling Hunter twist beneath him, feeling the hard flesh yield under his fists, hearing Hunt's gasps and groans and his own short panting breaths. Another blow, completely blinded now by the damned tears that he couldn't stop and the emotions filling him, and then he heard Hunt's words. He didn't blame... he blamed... he... he loved... He stopped cold, a near-sob escaping him as he wiped his hand across his eyes with a sharp movement, staring down at the other man. The sharp twist of pain in his heart at the sight of Hunter beneath him, bruised and battered, with that look of pain and love and rage in his eyes nearly took his breath away. "Hunt..." The name escaped him as a sigh. He reached out with shaking fingers, gently tracing the livid mark of his hand on Hunter's cheek. The anger that had filled him since he woke up knowing the truth drained away, his pain muting as he saw its reflection in those familiar amber eyes. "God." His voice was hoarse, his throat raw from the tears and the yelling. Almost swamped by a sudden wave of shame, he bowed his head until his forehead was resting on Hunter's chest, one hand wrapped around his shoulder. More of those damned tears clogged his throat as much as he tried to fight them back, desperate not to show that weakness again. Even as he struggled with them, he felt one roll down his cheek, landing on Hunter's chest, followed by another one. He wasn't sure what had just happened, but his anger was gone and his pain was less... maybe seeing that Hunter had hurt himself just as badly had done it. Whatever it was, Shawn didn't care. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut out his view of the other man, not able to face the damage he'd done, the physical hurt he'd caused in his loss of control. He could feel more tears escaping and finally gave up the fight, too emotionally exhausted to try any more. Finally, after taking in several sobbing breaths, he managed to choke out, "Sorry... God, Hunt. So sorry. Never meant to hurt you..." **** Scott noticed the trembling fingers that brushed against his as he handed the pen and notebook to Kevin. It wasn't enough that the fans would have noticed, but then no one knew Kev as well as Scott did. Scott also knew exactly how he reacted when he and Kev were... playful. Granted Kev had never really reacted to it the way Scott had, but then it had been years since he'd dominated Kevin in that way... and Scott had been a bit more forceful this morning than he'd been in the past. There was also the aspect that most of the time they didn't do those kinds of things on impulse. There was usually a hint ahead of time that things were heading that way so that there was a chance for whoever was going to be on the receiving end to prepare mentally. He had no doubt that Kevin had enjoyed what had happened between them this morning... his begging for more only one clue, but things had changed between them since the last time they'd forayed into this particular arena... they had changed. Kevin was trying to limit his reactions to what they'd always been before... that iron control that he relied way too heavily on ensuring it. He knew that Kevin would most likely be expecting a lecture, but maybe a little bit of empathy and a healthy dose of understanding would get him where he wanted to be. Of course that didn't mean he wasn't going to lecture Kev at all... he was just going to hide the lecture amongst the rest. Scott was itching to pull Kev into his arms, but he didn't dare... not with the fans staring at them there in the elevator. As soon as the ping signaling the arrival at their floor sounded, Kev was headed out the half open doors of the elevator. Scott followed him, courtesy demanding that he nod a goodbye to the two that continued to watch them as they made their way down the hall. He swiped his card through the reader as quickly as possible and rushed through the door, Kev right on his heels. As soon as the door clicked shut, Kevin's arms were banding tightly around him and he could feel the weight of Kevin's head lying against his shoulder. "I'm a fucking idiot, Scott, and I'm sorry." He was shaking his head even as Kevin released him and headed towards the bed. Scott noticed that Kevin couldn't or wouldn't look at him. This was hitting Kevin so hard and Scott could almost guess at the turmoil in his head... after all, Scott had been there. He sank down on the bed next to his lover and wrapped his arms around him, giving Kevin the comfort that he knew he needed. "Just... don't let me go. Please?" "Shhh. It's okay, Kev. I promise I'm not going anywhere." Gently carding his fingers through Kevin's silky hair for a moment, Scott settled on the best way to go about getting Kevin to understand what he wanted to impart. "Scoot up here though and lay down with me. It will help if you're not sitting on the... affected area." Moving up the bed, he pulled Kevin with him, settling the big man with his head against his chest, his fingers still running gently through his hair. Scott smiled and pressed a kiss to the top of Kevin's head, remembering how he'd felt the last time they had played a little rough. "Kev, you aren't an idiot. I know you expect me to give you some big lecture, but I think a history lesson will help more in the long run. I know you remember the night we took the tag titles for the last time. Knowing that it was going to be a longer run than our previous runs with them... I remember how excited we were about it. God, we couldn't keep our hands off each other... gave the boss fits." Scott smiled remembering the way they were both feeling that night... pretty damn invincible... at least at the beginning of it. "We swiped the handcuffs out of Steiner's bag, just for kicks. We were planning to slip them into Hunt's bag the next time we saw him because we knew he'd wonder how the hell they got there... only that wasn't what we ended up using them for. That was the first time we'd ever played without a little warning. We got caught up in the moment... a pair of handcuffs, the hotel bed, and your belt. I don't remember much about the time you were actually using the belt, except that I was begging for it. I craved every single lash you gave me and I loved how you ran your hands over the welts while you were fucking me. When I finally came... god... that was so damn intense." Slowly, Scott started expanding the length of his caresses, dragging his fingers through Kevin's hair and half way down his back. He was aiming for a reaction, whatever it might be, and he intended to get one...just not quite yet. "You took care of all the cleanup, unlocked me, and we were both just about asleep when it finally hit me. I know you remember it, Kev. I completely fell apart on you that night. I tried three or four times to cut off my reaction to it... and I just couldn't. Eventually I fell asleep and when I woke up the next morning, I hid in the bathroom for an hour. I felt so damned weak for losing control like I had. The worst part was worrying about you thinking I was weak." Scott moved his hand even lower, stopping to work at the knots in Kevin's back just above his waistband. "We went out later that day and I was still feeling the aftereffects... still bearing the marks from the belt. I wanted to go crawling back to our room and not come back out until they were gone because I was so worried someone would notice. I wasn't embarrassed or ashamed, but at the same time I didn't want to advertise that "the Bad Guy" wasn't quite as bad as he liked to say he was." "Someone did notice... Page of all people. I didn't really want to talk about it and he wasn't going to push with the mood I was in, but he did have something to say. He told me that losing control once in awhile didn't make you weak, it just made you human. I don't know how he knew what I was feeling, I'm guessing experience, but it doesn't really matter. The point is... he was right. Kev... we didn't plan what happened this morning. Maybe I shouldn't have sprung it on you like that, but it just felt right. You told me once that you liked not having to be in control all the time, but when do you honestly ever let it go? I know... I know I haven't always been the most reliable person, but things have changed Kev... I've changed, you have too. I'm not gonna break if you feel the need to lean on me sometimes, Kev. I'm not going to think you're weak...and it's not going to change how much I love you. You're a part of me, Kev. Even when we were apart... you were still there and you always will be." Scott finally took the chance he'd been waiting for, letting his hand smooth down over the back of Kevin's jeans. His touch so light that he could barely feel the rough texture of the denim, he stroked over a spot that he knew was probably still bearing at least some mark of their earlier activity. The whole time he was crossing his mental fingers that he'd finally gotten through to Kevin. **** The teasing tongue against his throat finally brought him back to reality...and what a sweet reality it was. Chris... him... in the same bed... together. Yep. Best place in the world to be to his way of thinking. He bit his lip to keep from flinching as Chris finally moved. Okay so he was going to be a little sore, but it was the good kind of sore... the very good kind. Adam immediately missed Chris' weight on top of him, but relished the way Chris used the towel to clean the evidence of their passion from his body. Even more he relished the words that Chris was speaking. "Adam Copeland, my darling. I think I should tell you that those were the two best sexual experiences I have had in my entire life." Right there with ya, sweetheart. The warmth in his chest swelled upon his hearing the endearment. As good as things had been with Mark, it couldn't compare to what had happened with Chris tonight. Things were so much more intense when there were deeper feelings involved. Adam admitted it to himself, even if he wasn't sure he could admit it to Chris just yet. "When we've slept for a bit can we go again?" Let's weigh this carefully... more really hot sex with the man I'm 99.9 percent sure I'm in love with... or more sleep. Duh! The lone finger trailing from his hip to his navel distracted him from giving the definite affirmative answer he had planned to give and by then Chris was talking again so he listened to that smooth voice, taking in every single word that was being spoken. He agreed that maybe the past just hadn't been their time. If he'd honestly been ready to settle down back then, he never would have gotten involved with Terry. Friends with benefits had pretty much described what had been their relationship... that word being applied very loosely. Now... now he was tired of playing the field. Tired of feeling so alone even when someone was with him. He wanted someone to share his life with, not just someone that was looking for sexual gratification. Adam blinked as the lights went out and Chris cuddled up against him again. It sounded like maybe that was what Chris wanted too. He could feel the tension radiating from the man curled up against him. Chris had been honest... Adam intended to be as well, but he wasn't sure exactly how much he should confess at this point. He curled his fingers through Chris' hair again, flinching as he shifted a bit. He was pretty sure that Chris had noticed and he didn't want him to worry about it. Best start there. "Sorry 'bout that. The last time I... did that... was four years ago so I kind of expected that I'd be a little...." He could feel the blush working it's way into his face, but ignored it. The room was dark so it wouldn't be so noticeable. "Never mind that. You said a lot and I guess I should do this in order so I don't miss anything," he said with a gentle smile. "I don't think I've ever lost myself in someone the way I did with you tonight. The way I felt... god, I've never felt that way with anyone before Chris... ever. If I hadn't been quite so intent on knowing what it felt like to have you inside me, I probably would have been a bit more... eloquent." Yeah... 'fuck gentle' wasn't exactly on his list of crowning achievements when it came to the romance department. "I'm definitely up for another go after we get some sleep... it will give me something good to dream about." He sighed quietly as he considered the rest of what Chris had told him. "I can't say that I don't have regrets, because I honestly haven't liked the person I've been for the last year. I let the actions of one person control the rest of my life and at times I've felt rather pathetic because I couldn't stand to sleep alone at night. I know I've pushed Jay to his limits at times worrying about me and I'm not proud of that either. But, I agree that maybe we wouldn't have worked then. I was too centered on my career and even with the way I felt about you then, I probably wouldn't have been real good at any kind of real relationship. I could never regret the friendship we have, but I wish I'd been a little more open with you about certain things. I could tell sometimes that you weren't sure why I pulled away. I couldn't take the chance on you figuring out how I felt about you when I wasn't prepared to act on it. And it took until tonight before I could take that chance." "I'll agree it's a damn shame that we missed out on all that great sex, but I figure if we work real hard at it, we should be able to make up for it." He was getting quivery just thinking about spending long hours alone with Chris, making up for all they'd missed. "What I'm trying to say is... I'd give you a million chances if that's what it would take, as long as I ended up with you beside me in the end. I think we already have something good... and for as long as you want me to be... I'm yours, Chris." Okay... so he hadn't actually tossed that huge "L" word out there, but the way he figured it was as damn close as he could get without actually using that particular word. Chris hadn't said it either and he didn't want to scare the man to death the first night they were together. He'd wait and see how Chris took what he'd said so far and if that went well, he would spend the next few days showing Chris how he felt. Maybe by then he'd have worked up enough courage to actually spit it out. **** Hunter felt his head snap backwards as Shawn's fist contacted once again with his jaw. The blow rattled his teeth and resulting impact on the top of his skull caused small white lights to blossom briefly before his eyes. He was still squirming, trying to both avoid Shawn's increasingly erratic attacks and to pull his arms from Dave's iron grasp. As the spots cleared from his vision Hunter heard a grunt from Dave and then suddenly his arms were free. Snapping his head sideways to dodge a well placed slap, Hunt brought his arms forward to try and contain Shawn's thrashing body. He fought Shawn so many times in and out of the ring, that he almost fell into the rhythm seen by millions every other week. But this wasn't work, this wasn't going to end with a grin and a beer. Shawn was out of control and Hunter just wanted to stop him from hurting himself anymore. It really hadn't occurred to him to try and hit back. Then the blows stopped. It was like someone had flipped on a light switch. From one moment to the next, the man whose knee was pressing harshly into his groin, was enraged and violently physical, to frozen, shocked and seeping so much pain it hurt Hunter to even see it. All the fight drained out of Shawn under Hunter's gaze, the distressed face bowing to rest on Hunt's heaving chest. He couldn't believe this was happening. Shawn wasn't trying to kill him anymore, Shawn was apologising to him... to Hunter. And Shawn was crying… Shawn was hurting so much he was crying. It was instinctive, his body responded to Shawn in pain in only one possible way… to try and stop it. Faintly, Hunter also realised the position Dave was in beneath them. Another person's pain he was responsible for and another he'd have to take care of. But first... Shawn. Sliding his hips from Dave's until he bore Shawn's weight alone on the carpet between Dave's braced legs, Hunter lifted his arms and wrapped them around the distressed man. His own anger and pain completely gone, Hunt sat them up and quite literally dragged Shawn into his lap. “Shhhh Shawn… shhhh. It’s okay Darling… shhhh. I’m sorry Shawn… I’m sorry. Don’t let it hurt you so much Darling please… I’m sorry…” he crooned into Shawn’s soft hair. “You were right Shawn Love… of course I love you… shhh… of course I do… I’m sorry I lied to you Darling... shhh." He gently rubbed the small of Shawn's back, a comforting motion his friend had responded to on more than one heartbroken occasion. Shawn was hurting and Hunter would do anything in his power to stop it.
to be continued... |