"ITVR: Chapter 20"
Awakenings.
By Jadedoll, Penumbren, & Raising Kane
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Chris let his nervously-held breath out in controlled little bursts. He really hoped Adam hadn't noticed as they snuggled deeper into the mattress. Despite the warmth of the near dawn sunrise, Chris wanted to keep as much body contact with his lover as possible. Adam's skin... when not flushed with arousal that is... was just pleasantly warm. Enough that you were lured into cuddling, but not so toasty that CJ would have to escape across the bed to cool down. for as long as you want me to be... I'm yours Now if that wasn't enough to reassure Chris' small fears than nothing would. A million chances huh? God... he hoped he wouldn't fuck up that many times. But given his recent history, CJ wasn't going to look a gift horse in the mouth. Despite the deep, happy sleepiness that was threatening to drown him, Chris allowed his brain to speculate on tomorrow... well today actually. In his mind he and Adam were joined at the hip for the foreseeable future. They'd have sex, he'd bully his lover into fucking him again, then get a real breakfast slash lunch. Maybe track down Jay and Tyson to see if they wanted to share a car again and go to the Smackdown taping just for fun. Somehow they'd fit in their gym time, CJ had to call people about a concert in three weeks and Adam probably had a personal appearance sometime soon. Chris hoped he'd be allowed to tag along. It'd be their new marketing campaign... two WWE stars for the price of one. Call now. Belatedly realising he hadn't answered Adam's own pledge of 'not a one night stand', Chris smiled into the smooth, thankfully warm/cool skin. "You're mine are you? Cool. I hope I don't need that many chances, but I'll take them in any case." Lifting his head, CJ pressed one last, hard kiss onto his new lover's mouth. "If you're mine, then it only seems fair you get something in return..." plonking his head back on his pillow cum shoulder. "...Only what you get? It's just me. But I get good mileage, have a steady job... kinda... have had my flea shots and won't scratch the furniture." Nine-tenths asleep, Chris' words began to wind down. "Free to good home. I'll pay for dinner and the movie. I'll scratch your back if you....." **** He was free. He wasn't sure why the fight had suddenly ended, but he could hear Shawn's quiet crying and Hunter's voice calm and soothing... saying just the words that Shawn had wanted to hear from the very beginning of this whole fiasco. After finally managing a deep breath or two with the weight of both men now off of him, through his mouth of course, he rolled to the side and used his free hand to push himself into a sitting position. He could still feel the stickiness of the blood on his neck, but pushed that thought to the side for a moment as he watched the two men. This was too... too emotional... too personal. He had a feeling neither man would appreciate having a witness to this particular moment and since they weren't trying to kill each other right now, Dave thought the best idea would be to give them some space. He didn't want to leave the suite, just on the off chance that things did turn violent again. Shawn and Hunter were both damn incredibly stubborn. So as an alternative, he decided to head to the bathroom and assess the damage to his nose a little closer. He also planned to search for something for this damn headache he'd acquired. Walking silently across the room, he finally found the bathroom. He locked the door behind him and grabbed a cloth from the rack, wetting it with warm water in the sink before he dared to even look. Lifting his eyes to look in the mirror, he grimaced. It didn't really look that bad, but he was a mess from the shoulders up. Blood had soaked into the inside collar of his shirt and there was a nice path down the side of his neck. Yep, the shirt was toast, but at least it wouldn't be too noticeable to the casual observer while he was walking down the hall to his room later. Pulling the sticky garment from his skin, he slowly washed the blood off his neck and upper lip. Most of the bleeding seemed to have stopped, thankfully, but there was still a tiny trickle when he moved his head. He rolled his eyes and grabbed another washcloth from the rack. Turning the water on as cold as he could get it, he soaked the rag and then wrung it out. He poked at his nose, deciding he didn't really care if it was broken. It was a small price to pay to make sure the two men hadn't killed each other, not that he'd been particularly effective from the bottom of the pile, he thought with a smirk. At least he'd avoided the chaos that had been his dream. Yeah... like something like that would actually happen in real life. 'That's why they call them dreams, Dave... you idiot,' he told himself as he noticed a slight darkening under one eye in the mirror. "Aw hell. I suppose it could be worse," he mumbled quietly as he set the cold cloth against the bridge of his nose. He poked through the stuff on the countertop, not feeling bad in the least for looking through Hunter's things. If he could take the edge off his headache, he'd be just fine. A small bottle of Tylenol among the items almost rated a cheer. He popped the cap off blindly with one hand, shaking two tablets into his hand and downing them with a sip of water from one of the plastic cups on the sink. Going over to the door, he listened carefully for renewed sounds of shouting, happy when he couldn't hear any. Hopefully the two would manage to talk things out and at least get themselves headed in the right direction. Dave wasn't quite sure how he felt about that deep down inside, but he wasn't ready to dwell on it either. Walking across the room, he sank down on the commode, the cold rag still on his nose and considered his other immediate problem. He needed to come up with an excuse for Vince in case he ran into him. There wasn't really a chance that the man wouldn't notice and copping to a bar fight just didn't sit real well in Dave's gut. Maybe he'd get lucky and make it to makeup before Vince saw him at all. Those girls could do amazing things with all that crap they had in those little boxes. For some reason he had a feeling he wouldn't get that lucky. **** Adam grinned as Chris' sleepy ramblings tapered off. Flea shots? Since he'd finally gotten around to actually furnishing his house while he was sitting at home after his surgery, he was glad to hear that Chris wasn't going to scratch the furniture. He shook his head and released a happy little sigh. Some of the things that Chris managed to come up with... too cute. "Just you is all I really wanted, sweetheart," he said quietly knowing that Chris was too far gone to hear it, his lips brushing against silky blond wisps of Chris' hair. "Since you've had your flea shots, I'll even take you home with me if you want me to." Okay... it was official. He and Chris obviously belonged together... they were both insane. He could feel sleep tugging at the edges of his consciousness, but his mind was still whirling with everything that had happened tonight. He settled into his nightly routine of cataloging his day and planning out the next. It might not work for everyone, but he felt better after making sure he hadn't forgotten anything that he was supposed to do. Today had started out the same old, same old and had progressed to annoying when he'd arrived at the arena. He hadn't had a match... so no new bumps or bruises to worry about. He had had another run-in with Terry. Wouldn't it just figure that he'd come back to Raw instead of Smackdown just to find out that Terry had switched shows as well? Since he was no longer getting plowed by Brock on a regular basis, he'd turned into an even bigger asshole. That his former lover had taken the time to notice his new habits didn't impress him in the least and the fact that Terry took pot shots at him every chance he got wasn't endearing him to the man at all. Adam thought he might want to mention that to Chris, just in case. It didn't bother Adam at all and he was pretty sure Chris wouldn't care either, but Adam couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't want to gullet the guy if he said anything about Chris. Pushing thoughts of his former friend away, he worked his way through the rest of the night. His promos had gone off without a hitch, and then he'd sat around and watched people. That was what he did after all... watch. Though some of them probably wouldn't be too happy to find out that that's what he was usually doing behind those dark glasses. Could he help it if people fascinated him? He'd spent quite a bit of time watching Chris of course... that was pretty much guaranteed on any night. He remembered then that Chris had a bruise. Whoops. He'd been so caught up in things tonight that it had completely slipped his mind. Chris hadn't seemed to favor it after that incident in the car, but he'd take the time to look it over in the morning... maybe a nice tongue bath would help. Okay... going off course again. The rest of the night had been fairly interesting... okay extremely interesting. The fight with Hall and Nitro... that still amused him... stupid rookie. The tension from the little Clique gathering... once again amusing, but not public fodder if he liked his head where it was at. Then there was the moment he'd approached Chris and everything that had followed. He lingered especially over the time since they'd talked in the alley. He could feel his body responding to the memories of how Chris had made him feel tonight, but he pushed it away. Instead he indulged a moment or two just soaking up the warmth of the body still pressed close to him. Better if he actually got some rest so he didn't flub their next encounter. He yawned sleepily as he considered what he had to do tomorrow... no make that later today. As far as he knew, he didn't have to be anywhere in particular. In fact, he didn't have any extra appearances this week until Sunday, just before 'Bad Blood'. He and Benoit had a signing that day, if he remembered correctly. Adam rolled his eyes a bit. Why they had a signing when they were going to lose to La Resistance, he had no clue. At least he'd get to work with Glen that night. Taking a good 'Choke Slam from Hell' was always fun. He laughed as he remembered that once upon a time, Glen had had a feud going with Chris just because he was too pretty. Damned if the writers hadn't gotten something right for once. Adam's last thought before he let sleep claim him was the cozy realization that for the first night in a long time, he didn't feel alone. It was all due to the man curled up beside him and he hoped that it was going to be a recurring feeling for a long time to come. **** The first thing Chris became aware of was that his feet were warm. The second was the slow, deep breathing of the man beside him in bed. The third was the insistent peel of a telephone. Pleased with the first, overjoyed at the presence of the second and extremely pissy at the third, Chris buried his face back into his pillow and moved his warm foot seven inches to the left. As wake-up kicks go, he tried to be gentle, but the phone was very annoying and Chris wasn't a hundred percent sure Adam would want anyone to know CJ was in his room, so he couldn't answer it himself. It would be just his luck if Adam decided in the cold light of... CJ squinted at the bedside clock.... 11.45 am, that last night had been a big mistake. Not that Adam would be that deliberately cruel or anything, Chris was sure. It was just that they'd both been pretty hyper and emotional last night and just because Chris had no regrets, it didn't mean Adam was fine with everything. He suddenly and violently felt the need for coffee. Perhaps intravenously. It would be correct to say Chris was not a morning person. He didn't lift his head as he heard Adam acknowledge the wake up call, just stayed face-first in the body-scented cotton and prayed he wouldn't have to get up any time soon. He hadn't even drunk that much last night and any alcohol would have been sweated out of his body by first his rigorous dancing, then even more rigorous love making. Speaking of lovemaking... Adam was still in bed. He hadn't screamed, run or called security on finding CJ beside him. That was a good sign. Still keeping most of his face buried, Chris turned his head towards his new... what? boyfriend?... what was he, twelve?... and opened one sleepy blue eye. And what a sight it was that met him. All relaxed long, lean limbs, mussed streaked hair and speculative green eyes. It was the strangely hot expression in the emerald irises that caused CJ's usual morning Mr. Perky to sit up and take notice. Considering they only seemed to have slept for about six hours, Chris was quite proud of the fact. Hoping Adam wouldn't feel uncomfortable at their 'morning after', CJ decided to take the straight forward approach. Chris arched and rippled his body in a long, pussycat stretch, sneakily twisting so the blanket and sheet slid down to rest just below his tailbone. Tucking both arms underneath his pillow, he smiled at Adam with somewhat dopey sexiness. "You come here often?" Investing as much come-hither as he was able into his sleep husky voice. **** Jay wasn't answering the phone. Why? He had no damn clue. The only thing he did care about was that it was driving him nuts. He considered putting the pillow over his head to tune out the insistent ringing and probably would have done so if he hadn't felt the warm slide of skin on skin. His eyes opened wide as saucers as the phone rang yet again. 'Oh god. Do not tell me I crawled in bed with Jay. Or even worse... Jay and Ty. Ewww.' He didn't want to open his eyes and look, but it struck him then that he was completely naked. Having Jay and or Ty waking up and finding him naked in bed with them was the stuff that nightmares were made of. Maybe that was it, he was having a nightmare... that would explain why the god damned phone was still ringing. He threw out his hand, searching for the phone, almost scared to open his eyes. He finally located the tool of the devil and pulled it across the bed to his ear. "Mphhh." He opened an eye enough to peek at his current bed partner as he was informed that the idiot on the other end of the phone was making the requested 11:45 am wake up call. Not Jay... definitely not Ty. Thank god. Blond tousled hair, fit, very nice looking... Chris. Chris was in his bed. Not just any Chris... Chris Jericho of the Magic Tongue, he worked out as his memory finally kicked in. And Chris was not only in his bed, but he was naked. Chris, who had had his flea shots and didn't scratch furniture, with whom he'd had really fucking hot sex with last night... not just once, but twice. The rest of his body finally caught up with his mind as he recalled Chris mentioning another go after getting some sleep. Adam just hoped he wasn't going to change his mind and run screaming from the room once he actually woke up. Adam's eyes were glued to Chris as he stretched gracefully and the bedding slipped almost low enough to allow him a view of what he remembered to be an extremely enticing ass. If he hadn't been 'awake' before, that surely would have been enough to wake him up. Actually, Chris could have been covered head to toe in burlap and it still would have been enough to wake him up. "You come here often?" Adam wondered for maybe a millisecond if Chris sounded that damn sexy every morning... with any luck he'd have more than one chance to find out. Chris wasn't running, wasn't screaming... and he figured that was pretty damn close to an invitation... an invitation that he was just a bit more than eager to accept. Rolling to the side so that he was pressed up against warm, smooth skin, Adam used his fingers to comb tousled blond locks away from Chris' graceful neck. He pressed several slow kisses against the nape of Chris' neck before lifting his head, his mouth right next to Chris' ear. His hand drifted slowly down Chris' back before settling at the base of his spine. "Only once so far, but I hope to change that in the very near future." **** but I hope to change that in the very near future "God," Chris snorted into his pillow at Adam's terrible pun. But at least the words had reassured him that the other man had no regrets either. As had the fingers tangling in his hair and the warm kisses dropped across his neck. The hot, sleek bulge pressing into his hip bone in fact seemed to be quite pleased by Chris' identity as well. Lifting his head even further from the pillow, CJ rested his weight on his elbows and took a nice long perusal of his bed partner. Adam was fully aroused, the gorgeous length of his blushing erection rising proudly from its nest of honey curls and pressing flat against his smooth belly, glistening at the tip with the evidence of his desire. He was beautiful, perfect. And he was waiting for Chris to do something. Deciding that ‘something’ as pretty as Adam’s sex shouldn’t be left wanting, Chris reached down and carefully wrapped his hand around the heated shaft, squeezing gently. Two tight strokes and he was rewarded by the erotic little moan CJ had barely caught last night. He’d have to try and get as many of those as possible later. Lazy morning sex was always a personal favourite of Chris’ and he hoped to add ‘slow and sexy’ to their small collection of sexual experiences. Looking past wide tanned shoulders, Chris spied Adam’s wallet on the bed stand and hoped like hell his ‘as prepared as a boy scout lover’ had planned for three encounters when he’d packed his lube. Because there was no way in hell CJ was getting out of this bed before he’d been nailed through the mattress by said Boy Scout. Releasing the pretty cock regretfully, he shifted till his lips were an inch from Adam’s, the now vacant hand snagging the wallet and fiddling briefly for… yay success! Good Boy Scout… the small packet. “That future is more than just very near Lover… it’s right now.” Pressing his mouth to Adam’s, his tongue played for a moment before running along Adam’s full lower lip, silently hoping for entry. The kiss deepened as Chris was granted entrance, tongues delicately dancing tip to tip, tasting every inch of Adam’s mouth with fleeting forays into wet warmth. Breaking the kiss, CJ deftly tore open the lube, “Right now.” He was back into Napoleon mode, but only for a moment and he squeezed part of the oil onto Adam’s palm and the remainder onto his own fingers. Turnabout being just as fun, Chris dropped his head back to the pillows and reached behind him to sneak his slicked fingers beneath the sheet. Finding his own entrance, he slid first one, then quickly a second finger inside his tight hole, scissoring and twisting to loosen the muscle for Adam’s, totally in proportion to his height, cock. He often prepared himself like this for the majority of his ‘giant’ lovers and although Chris found the touch of another to be more arousing than his own, it would expedite matters considerably. Besides…he wanted to watch Adam touching himself. **** As Chris' warm hand wrapped his engorged shaft, Adam bit his lip lightly. Such a simple, gentle touch and yet all it took was two slow pumps of his hardened flesh to ring a moan from him. That's just what happened when Chris touched him. Then he was released from that magical grip and he became aware of the heated breath feathering against his lips. His own breath caught for a moment in anticipation, his ears vaguely registering Chris' search for the necessary item. Then Chris' tongue was searching for entrance into the warm, wet recesses of his mouth and Adam happily complied. Hell... just kissing Chris was an erotic experience all in it's own. The slow gentle exploration by Chris' tongue stoked the heat running through his veins. When Chris broke the kiss, Adam considered initiating one of his own, but the sound of crinkling foil made him pause. "Right now." Chris was obviously back to issuing orders and Adam was more than happy to follow them. He felt the oil splashing against his palm, but before the purpose of the oil could register, his eyes fastened on Chris' own oil-slicked fingers as they slid beneath the sheet. It took about five seconds for his brain to process exactly what those fingers were doing and another five seconds his brain to send the signals through his body. A strangled whine slipped from his lips as his head dropped against Chris' shoulder. "God, Chris... you keep doing things like that and you'll kill me within a week," he whined breathlessly against the smooth skin of Chris' arm. The fact that the act was hidden underneath the sheet only made it all the more erotic as far as Adam was concerned, his fertile imagination producing a mental image of its own. That's about the time that it registered in his mind exactly what he was supposed to do with his own portion of the oil. Well... if a show is what Chris wanted, then that's what Chris would get. His eyes locked briefly with Chris', desire burning in the green depths. As he wrapped his hand gently around his shaft, his eyes fluttered shut and a quiet moan slipped from his lips. His hand slowly glided up the length of his swollen flesh, pausing as he reached the crown before returning to the base. His hand fully slick now, he repeated the upward stroke, his fingers curling up around the head before retreating and joining his palm in the downward slide. After repeating the gesture several times, he held his hand still and thrust his hips upward, pushing his length through his hand, his head dropping back against his shoulders, his mouth opening with a groan. Lifting his head, he locked lazy green once again with wide blue. "You like watching," his husky acknowledgment ending in a quiet hum as he thrust his hips once more. "Maybe next time, sweetheart," he gasped out as he lowered his hips. "Need you." Even as he finished speaking he leaned closer to Chris, his mouth covering Chris' in deep exploration. They'd done the hard and fast bit, but this morning he was looking for slow and easy and if he kept touching himself with the sight of the beauty laying beside him, they weren't going to get either. He released his throbbing cock, using the kiss as a chance to slow things down a notch. **** As he felt arms slide around him, Shawn stiffened momentarily before relaxing into the immediately familiar embrace. He should be recoiling, should be retreating, shouldn't be melting into those arms... but he couldn't help himself. Tears continued to drip slowly down his face, but the real problem was that he couldn't seem to draw in a breath. His breathing was hitching, unsteady, almost panting... And then he heard Hunter speaking to him, in that soft, loving tone of voice, and felt the soothing caress on his back... For an instant, his anger flared again at the simple fact that Hunter felt he had the right to do this, but it was almost immediately overwhelmed by a gentle warmth radiating through him, slowly calming his breathing and stopping the damned tears. As he finally took a deep breath, his aching lungs thanking him for the oxygen, he realised that his own arms had crept around Hunter and that his head was pillowed on Hunt's shoulder. Just like Dave had held him the night before. The thought was almost like a slap in the face, and he finally raised his head enough to look behind them, realising that Dave was gone. Before his overwrought emotions could flare into panic, he saw the closed bathroom door and had to smile a little. Dave was far too good of a person for him, really. Watching them had to be painful, but to give them space to talk... especially when Shawn knew that Dave was more than interested in the both of them. But they'd have to deal with that later. Right now... Taking a final shuddering breath, Shawn raised his head fully, looking Hunter in the eyes. A long, silent moment passed as he allowed the entirety of his pain to show in his eyes, seeing an echoing hurt in the whiskey eyes he was looking into. As Hunter tried to speak, Shawn shook his head. Leaning forward slightly, he gave into the longing that he'd managed to suppress---mostly---for almost a decade. Pressing his lips gently against Hunter's, a soft exhalation escaped him at the smooth feeling, and one of his hands slid upward to wrap around Hunt's neck, tangling in the still-damp hair. It was over quickly, but Shawn knew that he'd remember that kiss to his dying day. Few others came close. The goodnight kiss that he'd shared with Dave the night before was right up there with it, though. At the thought of Dave, Shawn blinked, then reluctantly leaned back. They couldn't just ignore what had happened or why. They had to talk, and Shawn had to know why Hunter had lied to him about this most important of things. And then... then he'd see where they stood... and then they could figure out what to do about Dave. He wasn't about to let the big man get away from him if he could possibly help it, not when there was already so much between them. Slipping his fingers back down the column of Hunter's throat, Shawn smiled a little sadly at him. "Maybe I should start over," he said hoarsely. The sore throat he'd woken up with hadn't improved, and his latest emotional bout had only made it worse. He wasn't quite croaking, but he might just end up that way if he wasn't careful. Tilting his head slightly, his eyes locked on Hunt's, he asked, his pain and hurt obvious in his words, "What happened, Hunt? Why did you lie to me? Why did you push me away? " **** "I promise I'm not going anywhere." God, he was weak. One little game this morning, and now he was falling apart...? Kev's lips twisted a little at the thought even as he nodded at Scott. He knew better than that, he did... but everything was different. Maybe because it had been so unexpected, completely without warning... A slight shudder ran through him as he remembered that morning, the shock of Scott's words, the immediate lightning bolt of excitement at the initial slap on the ass... his unashamed begging for more. He could feel his cheeks heating again as he draped himself on top of Scotty, wrapping an arm around his waist. He bit back the purr that wanted to escape at the feeling of his lover's fingers on his scalp, wondering what exactly Scott thought of him now. Sure, Scott had taken the dominating role before in their relationship---theirs wasn't a relationship that revolved around that question twenty-four/seven, or even all that often, especially, and he'd gladly given up that control at times. Or... had he? Listening as Scotty spoke, his cheek pressed against Scott's chest so that he could hear the beating of his heart, Kevin wondered. Had he ever really given up his treasured control? The only time it ever broke was when he lost his temper... His eyes fluttered shut in shame as he realised what that really meant. He'd never truly given himself up, given himself over to Scott the way that his darker lover was so willing to do for him. Until this morning. "...a pair of handcuffs, the hotel bed, and your belt." Kevin shuddered fully as Scott's voice, still bearing a hint of the accent of his youth, lowered slightly, the words bringing back the memories of that night. He'd been so caught up in the moment, so lost to the emotion, that he'd found himself bringing that belt down across Scott's back before he'd even realised that he'd handcuffed his lover to the bed, let alone that they were going to go there. They'd played those games before... but never like that. Never. The purr finally escaped as he relaxed into the gentle fingers caressing his hair. "I craved every single lash you gave me..." And he'd craved the reactions, the wild flinches, the almost-screams, that had resulted from every single lash. "...that was so damn intense." He found himself nodding in agreement, remembering his own incredible orgasm that night. It had taken him long minutes just to force himself up, to move his weight off of his almost unconscious lover. "I know you remember it, Kev. I completely fell apart on you that night." He did. He'd held Scotty for hours, worried that he'd hurt him, trying vainly to comfort him somehow, to stop the tears, the shaking... He'd failed. They'd only stopped when Scotty finally fell asleep from sheer exhaustion, not from the reassurance that Kevin had tried to offer. As Scott's hand slid gently across his back, he felt himself relax a little more, understanding why Scott was telling him this. He knew the story, of course. They'd talked about it at the time, but... never quite like this. Scott had never really explained it to him this way. His purr intensified, the memories sending flashes of heat throughout him even as he relaxed under Scott's touch. "The worst part was worrying about you thinking I was weak." He flinched. As much as he tried to suppress the reaction, he couldn't, and he knew that Scott had to have felt it. That hit far too close to home. His control was legendary. Throughout his career, the only time he'd ever lost that control was when someone had finally managed to push him over the edge and unleash his temper---and the only times that anyone had ever managed to do that had all involved the man holding him now. Realising that only made his shame greater. Knowing that Scott had been so willing to give himself over completely to him, holding nothing back... and he was falling to pieces over the thought of doing the same thing. What did that say about him? Nothing good. Selfish, egotistic, self-centered... all words that had been aimed at him in the past. Before, he'd shrugged them off with a smirk. Now... now he was afraid that they were right. As Scott's fingers started rubbing at the knots that had gathered in his lower back, he took a deep breath, forcing himself to let go a little. As hard as it was to let that tightly-held control go, maybe if he did it a little bit at a time... When Scotty hit a particularly sore spot, he sucked in a breath, releasing a low moan of pleasure as the knot uncoiled and relaxed, sending a new wave of warmth spreading through him. "...because I was so worried someone would notice." Oh, Scotty. Kevin bit his lip for a second, but knew that Scott had dealt with this long ago, and that he had been able to help... but he still wasn't sure how Scott had done it. He'd never heard all of this, and until now, it hadn't even occurred to him that he'd been missing a few of the pieces. It wasn't something Scott had hidden from him, he knew, but more like something that neither of them had even thought to bring up. He loved holding Scott after one of their scenes, loved petting him, calming him down, helping him put the pieces back together... Just like Scott was doing for him right now. "...losing control once in awhile didn't make you weak, it just made you human." Kevin's eyes widened at that, and he shifted slightly so that he could look up at his lover. That was how he felt: weak. For blushing, for wincing as he sat down, for not being able to control his reaction... For giving Scott everything that Scott had ever given him. "...but when do you honestly ever let it go?" He started at that and looked up at Scott, his eyes even wider. Maybe his lover hadn't intended it---maybe he didn't even realise it---but there was hurt behind that question. Somewhere inside, a veil that he'd never noticed lifted. By keeping that control so tight, by keeping back part of himself... he'd hurt Scott. He'd hurt his lover. Not on purpose---never on purpose! But that didn't absolve him from what he'd done. He should've known better. "I'm not gonna break if you feel the need to lean on me sometimes..." Blinking back the moisture that threatened to gather at the corners of his eyes, Kevin tightened his grasp on his lover. He knew Scott was strong, knew that he was capable of supporting himself and both of them... but he'd still denied him the chance to do so. Instead, he held onto that control that he was so proud of, and mourned the days when Scott had needed him for support... never seeing that Scott still needed him. Simply in a different way, these days. "You're a part of me, Kev. Even when we were apart... you were still there and you always will be." Even as Kevin was soaking in the words, letting them fill him with an unexpected warm glow, making him feel needed and wanted and loved and supported... the incredibly soft touch on still-aching skin made him suck in a loud breath, his eyes squeezing shut as he flinched violently. The touch itself hadn't been painful, had barely been noticeable... but the timing, combined with what his lover was saying... Kevin turned his face toward Scott's chest, not quite ready to face his lover with tears in his eyes, but after only a split second, raised his gaze upward. What was the point of Scott telling him all of this, the realisations that he'd come to, if he just wound everything up and wrapped it away inside again? If he wasn't willing share everything with Scotty, then he didn't deserve to be with him. "Scott..." His voice failed him for a long moment as he met those dark eyes, sinking into the love and trust and strength he saw there. "I'm so sorry. I never... I never realised..." Pausing, he forced himself to take a breath before trying again. "I never was able to let go like you do. I didn't know..." Giving up for the moment, he pressed a kiss to the heart hidden beneath the t-shirt beneath him. Shifting uncomfortably against Scott, Kevin finally allowed himself to admit how much his ass hurt. He wasn't going to be able to sit comfortably at least for the rest of the day, and the jeans he was wearing were chafing unbelievably. His lover definitely had a stronger arm than he'd realised, he thought ruefully. Thankfully, the tears seemed to be momentary, but he knew that he wasn't going to be ready to leave Scott's arms for a long time... although hopefully his lover would allow him to get out of the jeans, at least. He shifted again at another soft touch, whimpering. Any other time, he'd probably be aghast at such a broken little sound coming from his lips... but it was the same sort of thing that he loved hearing from Scott. How could he possibly not give back to Scott what he loved so much when it was given to him? He whined at a slightly firmer touch, jerking away from it. "Scott... please. God." His breath caught at a softer caress along the curve of his ass. Another whimper, and he moaned quietly, "Hurts... so good..." **** Hunter was still trying to reassure Shawn when soft fingers stopped his words. The look of hurt in the beautiful dusky blue eyes was almost drenched by the punishing tears. He'd never been able to stand seeing Shawn cry. It was like the man he loved just broke, his emotions bleeding into the air, into Hunter. He'd wanted so much to avoid hurting Shawn, to avoid any pain like other people had caused. In the end it seemed he'd actually done a better job of bludgeoning the lovely soul in his arms more than any one else ever had. Something else to be proud of hey Hunter? No, there were many things he'd was proud of in his life, but causing Shawn to be so angry, so downright vicious... that was something he felt ashamed of. His friend had stood by him in a lot of bad situations, situations for which Hunter only had himself to blame. But Shawn hadn't cared, hadn't judged him and then decided Hunter's politicking and business lunches meant he'd forgotten who he was. How could you do this to us Hunter?... I don't even know you anymore. Kevin's words often came back to haunt him, the dear voice literally dripping with disgust. Maybe Kevin was right, Hunter wasn't the same man they'd all known ten years, hell even five years ago. Nash had been partially mistaken that night... Hunter hadn't deserved the condemnation... that time. But plenty of other accusations could be leveled at his head and he'd couldn't plead innocent on those. But Shawn had never accused Hunter of anything. He never once battered even an eyelid at Hunt's co-called management manipulation. He'd been playing Vince and all the WWE for far longer than Hunter and was basically immune to all the politics by now, simply by benefit of being Shawn. The man who, unlike Hunter, had an inbuilt integrity that would only let him go so far, to only go to certain lengths in this industry. It was this honesty, this soul-deep expectation of honesty that could flat-out kill Hunter. It wasn't that Shawn didn't mind Hunter playing the game... it was he knew Hunter would do the right thing. He knew! How the hell could the guy expect Hunter to be so decent, when he could barely stand himself some nights? It should hardly have surprised him then, that his friend would pound on his door and demand the truth from Hunter. Shawn had always expected the truth from Hunter, simply by presuming that Hunter was too decent a guy to lie to him. Just like Dave had thought as well. The shit of it was, it didn't make Shawn naive to think that way. Oh no. Very few people saw the world exactly as it was like Shawn Michaels. He just seemed to have a rose-coloured blind spot when it came to Hunter. And damn him if Hunt didn't want to live up to it. To actually be the guy Shawn thought he was. Shawn's eyes flicked momentarily away from Hunter's towards the bathroom and the bigger man became aware of the cool air-conditioned breeze at his back for the first time. Dave... god... Dave had been hurt when they were struggling on the floor. Hunt's skull still pulsed from the impact with Dave's what? His chin? He'd been so caught up on easing Shawn's pain, he'd forgotten the third member of this sad little triangle. Awesome, untouchable Dave Batista. A guy who actually was the man Shawn expected Hunter to be. Dave, who would leave the room to give the guy he adored time with Hunter, a guy he plainly didn't like anymore, because it was the right thing to do. Hunter contemplated what to do. He'd rather tear off his own arm than push Shawn off his lap, but maybe he should take a leaf out of Dave's book and 'be a man' by letting Shawn go see if Dave was okay. Any thoughts were lost when Shawn kissed him. God help him, Shawn kissed him. Not like that time in the ring. That had been in public and a hilarious joke that had left Hunter nursing another bottle at 3 am the next day. That had been agony. This... this was what kissing Shawn was really like. Just a brush of lips, a gentle puff of air as his Darling gave a small sigh and pulled back, hand still tangled in Hunter's hair. There was only one word to describe that single kiss. Peaceful. Like the constant war he seemed to be fighting was over, the battle surrendered and finally Hunter could have a moment's peace. It was a precious, precious thing that kiss and Hunt knew he would hold the memory to him for ages to come. Once again he was lost in Shawn's eyes when his friend spoke. What happened, Hunt? Why did you lie to me? Why did you push me away? Shawn's husky words brought Hunter back from the internal landscape of his thoughts. Right here, right now, Shawn was presuming Hunter would be that man he though he was. He thought for a moment how to answer Shawn. He'd given away the truth in his little hissy-fit from before and he couldn't back out now that Shawn was calling him to task. Lifting his own arm from its place around Shawn's slim waist, he reverently touched one high cheekbone of his beloved. Hunter found he really wanted to be the better man Shawn believed him to be. So he told the truth. "Shawn," never Michaels, never again. "I lied because I realised at that moment that despite you loving me... God..." he shook his head in wonder, "...you loving me, I wasn't the right guy for you. I didn't mean you to think I blamed you for my life these last ten years Shawn. I don't. Just... nine years ago I could've been good enough, could've been like Dave," Hunter gestured with his head at the bathroom door. "I'm not lying now Shawn, I do love you, with every bit of me I love you. But the man I am, the man who is your friend... he's not the guy for you Darling." Hunter hoped Shawn wouldn't think this was another rejection, it wasn't. Hunter was just fixing his mistakes, telling the truth like he should have done last night. "And don't say I'm being a martyr, 'cos I'm not." He tried to forestall any objections Shawn might come up with. "I'm not giving you passive-aggressive bullshit just so I can wallow in self-pity. This isn't me crying 'woe is me' and hoping to change the last nine years. I can't do that. What I can do is tell you... yes Shawn Michaels, I love you madly. But the right man for you is in that bathroom, not sitting here with a hangover and a bad case of emotional baggage." Hunter sat back a little, releasing his hold on Shawn, savouring the feel of his love in his arms... one last time. **** to be continued... |