"ITVR: Chapter 6"
Omissions.
By Jadedoll, Penumbren, & Raising Kane
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"That'll teach him to sic hairy backed bikers on me." Adam looked in the direction that Chris had indicated and burst into a loud laugh. That was pretty damn funny and definitely money well spent. It wasn't over either, because he'd guarantee that they'd be trying again soon before long. Allowing himself to get swept into the rhythm of the music, Adam joined the others in dancing. He really sucked when it came to dancing to this heavy music, which is why he usually limited himself to being a spectator rather than a participant. Deciding that maybe enthusiasm would make up for the lack of actual talent, Adam threw himself into the dancing as best he could. After ten minutes of continuously jumping around like a nut, he was getting pretty damn hot, sweaty, and thirsty. The fact that he'd had his eyes glued to Chris' form the entire time could have helped explain the hot and sweaty part, though he refused to let himself think about it. Maybe a beer...and about four or five additional shots, could help curb the uncontrollable reaction he was having from watching Chris bounce around in those shiny pants. Conscious of the fact that his reaction was most likely plainly visible with the tightness of his pants and the lack of underwear, Adam untucked the ends of his shirt, hoping that they would in some small way help to hide it. Smiling at Chris, he leaned in across the circle so that he could shout loud enough to be heard. "I need another drink. You in?" He pulled back to wait for Chris' response and was distracted by the sight of Shane sneaking up behind Austin before wrapping his arms around him. Adam smothered his laugh with his hand, but the laughter was evident in the sparkle of his eyes. He quickly nodded in Austin's direction just before Helms leaned closer and whispered something in the Rattlesnake's ear. Something that Austin wasn't very excited about if the expression on his face meant anything. **** Shane snuck up behind Austin and wrapped his arms around his waist. Leaning closer to the bald man's ear, he shouted loud enough to be heard over the music. "Come on Steve. We'll play superheroes and you can be the villain. We'll even dig out the handcuffs," Shane said with a smirk as he rubbed up against Austin's hip. "Rosey really enjoys running around the hotel room in just his cape." Shane was biting on his lip now in order not to laugh. He hadn't had this much fun in ages. He was even considering giving Adam his money back and doing it just for the fun of it. **** Hunter felt his jaw drop as the reality of Dave's word's sank in. What the hell? Why would he even think...damn. Something had spooked the big man and he was trying to avoid Shawn. Maybe he shouldn't have joined them after all, their emotions were so volatile the air in the limo was drenched in tension. He looked slowly back and forth between the two worried faces opposite him. Dave hadn't once looked at Hunter and by his body language was almost climbing out the window to keep a safe distance from Shawn. All Hunter could think about Dave's speech was...poor Dave. As for Shawn....oh no. The expression on Shawn's face was so lost he looked like he was in shock. The paleness around the expressive eyes and the hazel orbs themselves almost blank....dammit, not again! Hunter wasn't going to let some misunderstanding tear his friend's heart out again. Too many times, he'd watched as Shawn offered someone his soul only to find that the idiot only wanted the great and wonderful Heartbreak Kid, rather than Shawn. Hunter had picked up the pieces as much as he could, his own heart dying a little each time Shawn gave himself to some clueless bastard who didn't know what they were throwing away. But this time was different. This was Dave. A guy that Hunter could have fallen for himself had the man not kept his distance, a guy that wasn't lost to the politics of the WWE like Hunter himself. Dave could actually love Shawn for himself, not the pretty little package. And Shawn deserved the very best. This...attraction...between the two men could be the best thing that ever happened to them. They just had to realize it, he had to fix this for them. Because he had the terrible suspicion that this was all his fault. Trying to gauge Shawn's feelings was almost impossible but Dave was open as always. His hurt and disappointment coming off him like waves. Of all the stupid..... Finding his voice after several uncomfortable seconds, he sat forward and looked at the big man. He had to make Dave understand that while he might be spot on with Hunter's feelings, he'd misread Shawn, of that Hunter was certain. Carefully ignoring mentioning his own feeling for either Stephanie, Dave or Shawn, Hunter sorted out his arguments on behalf of his best friend. "Dave?" Hunter knew he sounded like he was trying to coax an injured animal...and maybe he was. "C'mon Dave...listen to me." Finally Dave looked at him and Hunter didn't waste his chance. "Of course Shawn loves me Dave," seeing the flick of emotion in the dark eyes he cursed his part in this. "But you've got the wrong idea along the way somewhere. We've been very close for a lot of years and that creates love, no matter what others may call it. Despite what you might think, I do know how the Clique comes across to people outside it. And they're mostly right...but what we are all, first and foremost is the closest of friends Dave. We love and support each other no matter what this business throws at us," and maybe he should remember that next time he was alone with Kevin. Hunter smiled at Shawn, trying to bring the third man into the picture. They were discussing his feelings after all. "So, and I think Shawn would agree with me here, we have something stronger than most friends do, but that doesn't mean Shawn isn't interested in a relationship with you," doesn't mean I'm not either. "My buddy here has the biggest heart of anyone I know, so if he agrees to go on a date with you, he means it, don't be an idiot. Go for it. I think winning Shawn's heart would be a helluva prize." He let his eyes fill, for just a moment with his own longing, but quickly shuttered it away, where it would stay to keep him warm. "And as for being the third wheel, c'mon, like either of you wanted to come to dinner with me tonight." Hunter's hurt expression was perfect...for about two seconds. Taking a small risk, he placed a hand on each man's knee. "Shawn...tell him." **** "I need another drink. You in?" "Yeah, definitely." Trish and Molly had give up a little while ago, leaving to try and find Ty and Jay. Enjoying his view of Adam's leather clad ass as the man pushed his way through the throng, was sending his already hot, steamy skin into bad bad but awesome territory. Almost losing sight of Edge, CJ reached out and snagged a handful of the shirt tails hanging over said lovely ass. Maybe he shouldn't keep grabbing Adam? Although so far it had been pretty mutual grabbing, with the arm across the shoulders and not-thinking-about-mattresses behind hugging. He caught a glimpse of Helms once more groping Steve. Grinning like a loon, Chris allowed a small bubble of happiness to overtake him. Adam had set this up for him. He'd been irritated on CJ's behalf over the biker thing and gone to the trouble to get revenge for him. Definitely a happy bubble there. Unfortunately Steve caught sight of them as they approached the bar again. Pushing Helms away as gently as he was able the bald Texan went the long way around three tables to avoid contact with Rosey. As Adam ordered their drinks Chris laughed in Austin's appalled face. "Looks like you might get lucky tonight Babe," he smirked, repeating the exact words Austin had used two weeks ago in a grungy bar. Austin pulled CJ into an embrace and looked over his blond head at the two wannabe superheroes. "No way Kitten, I ain't goin' anywhere near those capes. Too much green and pink fer my taste." Loosening his hold a bit, Steve looked pleadingly into bright blue eyes. "Be my date and make 'em leave me alone?" He would beg if he had too. Hell, he'd even spring for dinner. CJ found himself caught in a conundrum. Option one...he could spend time with his totally-not-a-crush friend Adam, drinking, dancing and singing the night away, then go to bed with a happy smile on his face. Or option two...he could pretend to be the date of a man who regularly drove him insane to help avoid said man's just desserts arriving in two bright and frighteningly garish packages. Chris considered for all of a microsecond! "No Chance In Hell," he screamed happily into Austin's ear. Twisting out of the Texan's embrace, he moved nimbly to Adam's side and bravely hid for a bit beside the taller man. "That was such a good idea," he congratulated Adam. "Remind me never to get on your bad side." Chris just couldn't help it, it had been so long since he'd had this much fun. Wrapping his arms around Adam's shoulders he lifted up on tip toes to squeeze the life out of the guy and daringly planted a warm kiss to the strong throat. "Thanks Adam, you've made my night." **** "If I'm going to date someone, I refuse to play second fiddle to the guy they're actually in love with." Shawn's head sunk lower as he listened to Dave. At least this time the big man was explaining more. Of course, that meant that Shawn felt like even more of a heel, not to mention the knife he could feel twisting in his heart. He'd given up on Hunter so long ago... and all his experience had taught him was that that was the perfect kind of love: Distant, unacknowledged, unreciprocated. The hurt from never really being able to tell Hunt how he felt was more than made up for by knowing that his best friend did love him in some way at least, and would never throw his own love back in his face. That had happened too many times to make it easy for Shawn to even try for relationships; he'd been attracted to Jericho and was pretty sure that CJ was attracted to him in turn, but he'd never acted on it, and neither had Jericho. He'd been drawn to Dave from the first time he'd met him, but had managed to keep it hidden under his friendly manner, the one he used with everybody. Knowing that Dave felt something for him, even just a crush, was so tantalising... and so terrifying. Maybe that was why he'd let HBK answer poor Dave's question. That, and the fact that he'd seen how Dave looked at Hunter when he thought no one was watching him. But now... he looked back and forth between the other two men, noting how they were nearly as far apart from each other as the limo would allow. What a mess this was. Maybe he'd been cowardly in asking Dave to tell Hunter what was going on, but he just couldn't do it. How was he supposed to face his best friend and admit to him that he was completely in love with him and had been for years? His married best friend, at that. He'd told Dave not to assume... an impossible command, of course, but still... was he assuming too much, too? Was Dave right that Hunter and Steph's marriage wasn't what it seemed to be? Looking back, he remembered any number of times where they'd acted like best friends... but not like lovers. Hmm. Letting those thoughts distract him from the more painful ones circulating in his mind for a few minutes, he almost missed part of Hunt's little speech. "Of course Shawn loves me Dave." Oh God. He'd heard that clearly, and turned his head to stare directly at Hunter, his eyes wide. Even knowing how he'd probably meant it, it almost hurt to hear. "...we have something stronger than most friends do..." Stronger than any friends do, Shawn thought. The only people he'd seen with a similar relationship were Kevin and Scotty, and they'd been lovers before they were friends. Did Hunter even realise what he was saying? Shawn could tell that he was trying to give Dave a pep talk, to reach out, but... for the first time, as Shawn watched Hunter's face while he spoke, he began to believe that Dave might just be right about things. "I think winning Shawn's heart would be a helluva prize." Shawn nearly came out of his seat at those words, seeing something in Hunt's eyes, something that his friend quickly hid away. Do you, Hunt? Do you really? Shawn wondered. He cast a look at Dave, wondering how Batista was taking this, and was a little dismayed at what he saw. Apparently Dave was seeing the same thing he was---that Hunt was telling Dave one thing but really meaning it a whole different way. The speech was innocent enough, and heartfelt... but after what Dave had told him, Shawn could see so much more underneath Hunt's words. And of course Dave would, too. He nearly jumped when Hunt put a hand on his knee. "Shawn...tell him." Blinking, Shawn stared at his friend before swiveling his head to look at Dave for a moment. "Tell him what, Hunt? That we're best friends and we love each other? That's true enough." He could see Dave shutting himself off and tried to reach out to him. He wasn't sure why, but he wanted Dave to know the truth, wanted him to care... wanted him to stay. Leaning forward a little, he put a hand over Hunter's and after a split-second pause, put his other hand on Dave's knee with Hunt's. "But it's not all of the truth, is it, Hunt?" Locking eyes with his friend, he willed Hunter to see. "Because I know there's more than just friendship between us, and I know..." He cleared his throat, hearing his voice thicken as emotion started to return to him, clogging his throat. "I know that as much as I value your friendship, I've never stopped wishing you felt the same way about me as I do about you." He bit back a sharp laugh at the silence that was like a palpable thing pulsing between them. Finally looking at Dave again, he squeezed Dave's knee. "Dave... please. I know you're hurt and probably feel almost betrayed. I've never wanted to hurt you, and I sure as hell never thought of you as a distraction or an idiot. In fact... I've been watching you since day one. No, I don't love you. But... I'm not going to say I couldn't, either." Sitting back, he withdrew from the other two, curling up on the seat in the corner of the car, not quite able to face them any longer. "I've been through enough relationships to think that the whole idea is a piece of shit, and to believe that love really does only come true in fairy tales. But... damn." He cleared his throat again, not sure when he'd closed his eyes, not willing to admit to the tears that were probably gathering on his face. "I've loved Hunter for years, now. You're right about that, Dave. But I gave up on what I thought was an impossible dream years ago, too. If it's not, if it is possible, then yeah, I'd like to pursue that. But there are other people than just me and Hunter involved in that idea: Stephanie, for one. Shane, Vince... Linda. All people who mean a lot to me, and who I don't want to hurt. "And... well... I don't know how familiar you are with Clique stories, Dave, but they are exaggerated. Not always by much, but they are. I don't know how you feel about relationships... hell, I barely know you. But if you're really interested in me, not in HBK... then I can safely say that I'm interested in you. Not too many people realise that there's more to me than what they see in the ring, let alone decide that they care. "I guess... I guess what I'm really saying is that I'm a coward and I'm trying to hedge my bets. I'd love to go out with you, Dave. I'd love to get to know you. But I do love Hunter. I don't think those two things are incompatible, but maybe you do. And maybe you're right, but we'd only know for sure if we tried. And... if I really am just your best friend, Hunt, then a lot of this conversation is pretty damned pointless to start with." Shawn couldn't bring himself to look at the other two. He couldn't believe he'd just said all that. He'd never been good with emotional things---witness his previous relationships!---and he'd never been at facing his problems. Maybe he was finally growing up? Maybe he was just finally burning the last few bridges he had. Turning his face to the window, he waited for a response. **** "He's...he's taking both of them? Are you sure?" Kevin blinked at Scotty, not quite sure what he'd said to prod his lover into that upset-dejected slump and kind of worried about it. He frowned, wondering if it had to do with whatever the hell was going on with Shawn and Hunter and Dave. Sure, Shawn and Hunt had been dancing around each other for years, but Kev had figured that if neither of them had done anything about it by the time Steph hooked Hunt, they weren't going to now, either. Maybe Dave had-- "Hey! We've really enjoyed the show, but would you two get your asses in the limo so that we can go back to the hotel now?" Rolling his eyes, he let Scott lead him over to the limo, a little surprised by how clingy he was once they were inside. Not that he was complaining, mind you, but it was unexpected, given how fiercely Scott had protected his independence once he was clean. Sometimes he kind of missed the days when Scotty would curl up into his arms and let Kev shield him from the world... but the reasons for that behavior weren't worth it, and Kevin most certainly didn't miss the drunken screaming matches and injuries and hateful words. Tearful apologies always followed, and he'd almost hated those more, knowing how much Scott hated himself for what he did. Wrapping an arm around Scott, he nodded at Sean and Glen, then ignored them as the limo started moving and he pulled his lover onto his lap. Grinning at Scott, he slid his arm down to Scott's waist as he kissed his cheek, blowing across his ear. He put his free hand on Scott's knee, slowly sliding up his thigh as he licked a path down the side of Scotty's neck, nibbling at the junction of neck and shoulder. Sliding his tongue along Scott's collarbone, his fingers crept up until they rested at Scott's crotch, barely touching the bulge obvious even through the denim. Shifting a little as his body reacted to Scott's squirming on top of him, he leaned back a little and spread his legs farther apart, the hand at Scotty's waist slipping underneath the t-shirt he was wearing. Kevin sighed as he touched warm flesh, smiling against Scotty's neck. He never got tired of relearning the contours of Scott's body. "Love you Scott, so much," he whispered, his hands tightening on Scott's body for a split-second. **** "C'mon Dave....listen to me." He didn't want to listen to him at all, but he couldn't exactly go anywhere trapped in the limo like they were. Fine, if Hunter wanted to try to talk his way out of this, Dave would let him. He looked up at Hunter and waited for the speech he knew was coming, his eyes practically daring Hunter to deny his own feelings. Wrong idea, my ass, Hunter. He knew that every member of the Clique loved the others. That had never been in doubt and Dave would have had no problems at all whatsoever if that was all that it was, but now that he knew what to look for, he knew better. He watched the by-play between the two men during Hunter's speech. The smile from Hunter to Shawn, the tension in Shawn's frame after Hunter said that "Shawn's heart would be a helluva prize", the flash of emotion in Hunter's eyes that had almost disappeared before Dave caught it, and the casual hand that Hunter had laid on Shawn's knee spoke volumes. Of course Hunter had a hand on his knee as well so maybe he was just trying to make sure that he maintained both men's attention. "Shawn...tell him." In theory, Dave had to agree with most of what Hunter said. Most of it was likely true. Of course the fact that he'd completely avoided mentioning his own feelings at all was complete and utter bullshit. Dave bit down a snort and waited to see if Shawn would try to back up what Hunter had just said. Shawn's hand landing on his knee with Hunter's just about had him searching for the door handle. Yes, he would jump out of a moving car if he had to. All of this casual touching wasn't really up his alley and it was making him nervous as hell. "But it's not all of the truth, is it, Hunt?" At least Shawn was willing to admit the truth, even if Hunter apparently wasn't ready to yet. It was obviously hard for Shawn, but Dave thought that maybe it was more than time for it to come out, even if it did hurt just a little watching his slim chance go up in smoke. "But... I'm not going to say I couldn't, either." He didn't actually feel betrayed. Shawn didn't really owe him anything at all, even an explanation. It did hurt, but then didn't it always hurt a bit when you wanted something so much only to find out you couldn't have it? Shawn wasn't going to say he couldn't, but even if he did... could it ever match up to the love and affection that he held for someone that was closer to him than a brother in pretty much every way? Or would he always feel like he was being compared to someone just a little bit better? Watching the way Shawn withdrew from them both, Dave really felt...like something someone had scraped off the bottom of their shoe. If he hadn't acted on his interest and asked Shawn out, none of this would have come out in the first place. Though he still maintained that Shawn and Hunter both needed to know how the other felt, he'd never wanted to be responsible for making Shawn cry. He could understand Shawn not wanting to hurt anyone else, but Dave honestly didn't think it would hurt Stephanie, not if he was reading things right. "And... if I really am just your best friend, Hunt, then a lot of this conversation is pretty damned pointless to start with." Regardless of what Hunter would rather see happen, Dave wasn't going to let his mentor squirm out of things the way he had so far. Maybe if Hunter actually admitted what Dave had plainly been able to see in his eyes a few minutes ago, Shawn would stop crying. He hoped so anyway, because it was just about killing him to watch it. "Shawn, if he only considers you as a best friend, why did he completely avoid any mention at all of his own feelings and concentrate on yours instead?" Dave asked dryly, his eyes fastened on Hunter's face hoping that "the Game" would let his mask slip and show Shawn the truth. "He won't tell you that he isn't in love with you," Dave said with emphasis on the 'in', "because he won't lie to you. He sure as hell isn't in love with Stephanie. She's a great girl, no doubt, but if you really look at it, Hunter treats her more like a kid sister than his wife. Out of all the times that I've seen them together, I can't recall more than a dozen times that I've seen him actually touch her and that's generally a friendly hug, and since when does a guy kiss his wife goodbye with a peck on the cheek?" "I always thought that when Hunter was looking at you on your way to the showers that he was checking to make sure you weren't hurt. Looking back on it from the perspective that Hunter isn't actually limited to liking the fairer sex, I'd have to say he was checking out a whole hell of a lot more. Not to mention the way you two are touching each other all the time, really close friends or not, it's just a bit much. Hell, I can't believe it took me this long to figure it out and yet you've both been oblivious to it for years." Realizing that he'd said a hell of a lot more than he had intended, Dave sat back in his seat and shut his mouth. Maybe he'd finally cleared the path for Hunter to admit the truth now. Whatever it would take to make Shawn happy, even if Hunter most likely wanted to filet him right about now. Keeping his eyes fixed on the glass partition, Dave couldn't help but wonder if he should have offered to let the two of them have dinner alone so that they could straighten things out. He knew what Shawn had said, but he still wasn't thinking in terms that Shawn would be free to actually pursue anything with him. Surely Hunter would object, wouldn't he? **** He had honestly been trying to help, so maybe Kev wouldn't be too mad at him. He considered trying to call Hunt's cell phone, but if they were already into the discussion it might make it even worse if he interfered. He had no clue what the number to the limo might be so calling the driver to take the trio back to the hotel instead of a restaurant was completely out... Kevin's arm dropped around him and once again all thoughts of anyone except for the two of them vanished, especially once Kevin had pulled him onto his lap. The arm slipping around his waist gave him a sense of security that he really needed right now. He squirmed slightly trying to get more than the barely-there touch of Kevin's hand at his groin and tilted his head to give Kevin better access to the sensitive spot on his neck. It was amazing how worked up Kev could get him with a few simple touches. The warm hand slipping over his bare skin drew a small shudder from him. He wanted that hand all over him, but at the same time he didn't want to be interrupted in the middle of something when they reached the hotel. He had no objections to sex in the limo, but he was pretty sure they didn't have enough time and Sean and Glen were too anxious to reach the hotel to agree to taking the scenic route. So be it, they'd have to settle for foreplay, which wasn't something to object to by any means. "Love you Scott, so much." He hadn't realized until Kev said it exactly how much he'd needed to hear it right then. Whining quietly over the teasing touches that Kev was allowing him, Scott decided that he wasn't about to let Kevin have all the fun. He slid one hand into Kev's blond locks and brushed his cheek gently against his lover's. His other hand settled on Kevin's broad shoulder with a gentle squeeze. "Not sure I always deserve it, but damn glad you do. Love you too, Kev," he whispered quietly just before using the hand tangled in Kevin's hair to draw his head backward. He brushed his lips gently over Kevin's a couple of times as the hand on Kevin's shoulder slipped teasingly down over the jersey covering his chest. When Scott's hand encountered the bottom of the jersey, he tugged it up slightly and settled his hand firmly on the tempting bulge confined within blue denim. Moaning quietly in anticipation, Scott covered Kevin's mouth with his own and kissed him deeply, slowly. **** Kevin shivered as Scotty's fingers slid into his hair, teasing his scalp. He'd always been sensitive to having his hair played with, and Scott wasn't above using that weakness to his advantage. He realised that both of them were in a more... thoughtful mood than normal and determined to enjoy every second of it. Scott had been more conscientious since they reunited, and he'd been more gentle, but this was almost something new. Something sweet. "Not sure I always deserve it, but damn glad you do. Love you too, Kev," If Scott hadn't pulled his head backwards at that moment, Kevin would probably have glared at his lover. He knew Scott was insecure and knew why, but he should know by now that Kev would always love him, no matter what; he always had. True, there were things in the past that had been pretty terrible, but they were in the past now. Before he could try to express any of those thoughts, Scott's lips were brushing against his and his hand... Kevin groaned against Scotty's mouth as his lover cupped his erection through his jeans. He pulled his own hand away from Scott's chest and tangled it in his black locks as he eagerly responded to Scott's kiss, recognising his lover's desire to lead. He shifted his other hand to cup Scott's straining length, moving his hand over it in a slow caress. He was tempted to unzip those jeans and touch Scotty for real, but knew that they didn't have enough time. He contented himself with languidly exploring Scott's mouth, caressing the back of his neck as they kissed. He was lost in Scott, oblivious to the world around them until Glen's amused voice penetrated the soft haze that surrounded him. "As nice as you two are to watch, we're here, and I have plans of my own tonight." Breaking away from Scott enough to look over his shoulder, Kevin realised they'd reached the hotel and that the limo had stopped. He leaned his head briefly against Scott's, kissing him one last time before smiling ruefully at him. "Time to get out, sweetheart," he said softly. "The sooner we get to our room, the sooner I can have you naked and writhing." **** As Adam ordered their drinks from the bartender, he kept one eye on Austin and Chris. Christ, this was ridiculous. It wasn't like Austin was going to molest him or anything, right? So why was Adam tempted to fulfill the threat he'd made earlier to Austin just because he was touching Chris? He had absolutely no claim on the gorgeous blond and he'd better start remembering that before he did something really stupid. Adam somehow managed not to let his irritation show when the bald man asked Chris to be his date. He'd call off Rosey and Helms before Chris had to subject himself to that. Luckily it didn't look as if Chris would accept anyway. "No Chance In Hell." As Chris took a position at his side, Adam smiled and pushed both a shot glass and a beer in his direction. He was happy to see Chris smiling. It was a marked improvement from his earlier mood and Adam was glad that he'd come along despite the thoughts that kept flitting through his head. He didn't think it was possible for the blond to get on his bad side and was just about to tell him so when Chris' arms wrapped around his neck. Oh god. 'He's going to notice', was Adam's first thought, but that was quickly chased from his mind when he felt Chris' lips brush against his neck. There was no way he could prevent the quiet whine the action provoked from slipping from his mouth. Unconsciously he took a half step towards Chris, bringing their bodies into closer contact and his hands having suddenly developed a mind of their own settled firmly on Chris' hips. Soft silky strands of Chris' hair brushed against his face and powerless to resist the lure he tilted his head closer, rubbing his cheek gently against the golden tresses. He was surely a glutton for punishment, but he couldn't seem to control any of his impulses when it came to Chris...at least not for any length of time. His right hand, which was still firmly in 'FU buddy this is my show' mode, climbed steadily upward allowing Adam to count the ridges of Chris' ribs if he so chose, before deciding to jump ahead to Chris' jaw. Using a light pressure, he tilted Chris' head up until he could look into his eyes. His fingers fanned over Chris' cheek even as his thumb brushed over the swell of soft pink lips. "I don't think you could ever be on my bad side, Chris," he said quietly, the temporary lull in the music allowing him to be heard. "You have no idea how much I want..." trailing off, he shook his head slightly as if to clear the fog of desire that was clouding his judgment. "I can't. You deserve so much better than the man I've become since..." Gently untangling himself from Chris as he realized how close he'd come to kissing him, Adam looked with blind panic at the nearest person he recognized, which just happened to be Austin. He looked sadly once more at Chris and turned with the intention of tracking down Jay. Jay would understand because he knew about everything. If he talked to Jay, Jay could help him figure out how to straighten out the huge mess he'd just made of his tentative friendship with Chris. Maybe Jay could even help him figure out how to stop wanting what he couldn't have. **** "Tell him what, Hunt? That we're best friends and we love each other? Yes, exactly Shawn. Tell him that it isn't that kind of love for you and that you'll give him a shot. Hunter almost sighed with relief when Shawn agreed with him, maybe now two of the most important people in his life could begin what should have started an hour ago. Their first date. ....more than just friendship between us... Oh no Shawn, please don't. I've never stopped wishing you felt the same way about me as I do about you.. God no! I couldn't be..... if Shawn was agreeing with Dave, then that meant that he...that Shawn did want more..... I've loved Hunter for years, now. .....No you haven't, no you haven't, please tell me you haven't. Because if you have and it's true, then all I've done to myself could've been different. I could have been different...I could have been so much better than this, if I'd known you wanted me. Please don't tell me this Shawn, because if you don't then I didn't waste all that time. I didn't give away my integrity for small comfort. Oh God. If I'd know I could have had you I would've, I would've...... I'd love to go out with you, Dave ....I would've been anything you wanted.... I would've. But it's too late now. this conversation is pretty damned pointless to start with Yes it is, my love, yes it is. Because Hunter knew that Shawn meant every single word he'd said. He knew now that Shawn had loved him, had been in love with him and probably thought he still was. But for all that his heart wanted to sing, that he wanted to dive across the space between them and devour every inch of his best friend, he couldn't. It was a nice dream....but unfortunately Hunter had to live in the real world. He let Shawn's hand slip from the top of his and didn't grab it back like greedy child. When Dave started talking, Hunter pulled himself out of the spin his thoughts had dived into and listened. The Big Man still exuded discomfort and Hunter realized, belatedly, that his hand was still on Dave's knee. Pity he'd gotten used to the small casual touches he'd allowed himself, with both Dave and Shawn. That'd have to stop now. Hunter lifted his obviously irritating hand from Dave's knee and clasped his fingers between his own legs, head bowed as he planned what to do next. He hadn't expected this car ride to go this way at all. Funny how Hunter tried to avoid being emotionally gutted as often as possible, yet it still crept up on him. Pity he'd entered a limousine with two beautiful people who had the power to do it. God! And Dave still thought he was doing them a favour? because he won't lie to you Oh no Davey-boy, that's where you're very wrong. You have no idea the lengths I'll go to for my family. The lengths to which I've already gone. At least he could use his distance from the Clique as an excuse now, after this it would be a chasm he might never cross. Still, he kept his eyes on his hands. Hunter wasn't surprised at his calm tone, he was an actor after all. "You're both right and so very wrong. I honestly didn't realize this was a problem for you and all I can say is how sorry I am. But you've made a big mistake Dave and Shawn was right...you assumed too much. No, I don't love Stephanie like a wife, but she is very special to me and the power in the company I've gained through her is not something I'm willing to give up anytime soon. So Stephanie is part of my life and I count myself lucky that I am married to such a wonderful woman, so does her girlfriend Megan by the way. "As to my feeling for Shawn, as I said they run deep. We've known each other a lot of years and we're closer than brothers...but...I'm not in love with Shawn," he dared a glance at the averted profile, knowing the hurt he would see reflected there would stay with him forever. It was his punishment after all, for the sacrilege he was about to cause. "You've seen me watch him and I don't deny that. You are a beautiful man my friend, I'd have to be blind not to be attracted to you. But I'm attracted to you too Dave and as I am to a lot of the beautiful people we work with. "But I care too much for Shawn to lie to him," you bastard, "or to you and I won't let Shawn believe something you're saying out of misplaced jealousy. I'm sorry Shawn, but I don't...feel...the same way, you are my best friend and I hope we can still have that. Although I doubt it." The limousine pulled to a stop and a small tone from the side console indicated they had arrived at their destination. How convenient. "You probably don't want to eat now, but there is a reservation for you. I think it's best if I went back to the hotel, I'll send Ray back to wait for you." Hunter sat back, letting just enough of his inner strife show, so they could see his pain and believe what he was telling them. Kevin would probably kill him for hurting Shawn this way. Hunter wasn't sure if he might not just let him. **** to be continued... |