"ITVR: Chapter 7"
Answers.
By Jadedoll, Penumbren, & Raising Kane
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With Adam's hands moving over his hips and back, Chris couldn't help swaying into the tall, lean body so close to his. Such heat being generated between them, such delicious, bedroom heat. CJ couldn't remember when exactly he had gone from non-sexual fun to very, very sexual touching, but he really didn't care. He really didn't care. Long fingers on his face and the pump, pump of the music died and the band moved onto stage to riotous applause. I can't. You deserve so much better than the man I've become since..." Then the heat was gone, Adam was taking it away and turning away and leaving Chris standing with four drinks and a hard-on. Wha....? He really, really wanted to follow Adam, to touch him and to get back to the heat... "Remove yer hand Batgirl or I'm gonna stomp ya a new one.." Chris came down to earth with a bump. The club, Austin, Trish and Adam. But Adam was gone again, because CJ was against the rules and Adam wasn't going to break those rules. Why not? his inner three-year-old wailed. CJ then felt the heat turn into burning white hot anger. It cause the tremor in his hands to increase and his flushed face to pale. He was sooo angry. At Austin for being an idiot, at Adam for turning on all his switches then running away and mostly at himself. He should have just kept his hands in his pockets but no...he had to get all huggy and kissy on Adam even though he'd explained that he wouldn't become involved with someone from work. Jesus, no wonder the guy kept running away; he tells CJ it's all platonic and Chris responds by practically jumping in his lap. "Stupid, stupid Jericho, real stupid. And you mock Austin for being a slut when you can't even get the fucking signals through your clever brain." CJ knew he was muttering and didn't care. He shot both Adam's drinks and then his own. Feeling a definite buzz he headed for the security guy guarding the back stage area. He had two known outlets for anger and sexual frustration, one had run a mile, the other was just a nod away. Less than ten minutes later he was going nuts doing backing vocals for the Cold Hard Bastards. Mac kept trying to get him up front but that wouldn't happen without Fozzy so Chris just made love to his microphone and flirted like mad with Doctor Todd the guitarist. His only problem was that he probably looked like a disco ball on stage in this outfit. Hoping to tone down the sparkle a bit, he peeled of his shirt and tossed it to Trish, who was doing a fair impersonation of a groupie in the front row. He may not be allowed to have Adam, but he could have this. **** As he stared unseeingly at his own reflection in the window, Shawn waited for the other two people in the limo to tell him if he'd just laid himself open to more pain. He fully expected that he had, but couldn't help hoping for the magical fairy tale happy ending. "...why did he completely avoid any mention at all of his own feelings..." Blinking, Shawn turned and glanced at Hunter, wondering why he hadn't noticed that. Maybe because Hunt was unfortunately a wonderful actor and he'd been so wrapped up in his own reaction to what had been said that he wasn't thinking straight? He still wasn't, and this really wasn't helping. All he really wanted to do was curl up in a ball and hide from the world for the next few days... or months... "...because he won't lie to you..." Watching Hunter's face, Shawn wasn't so sure about that, but right now he'd have trouble telling if the sky was blue. Normally Hunt wouldn't lie to him, but in this case? His heart thumped painfully in his chest as he watched Hunter pull into himself, knowing already that he'd made a mistake. Why in the hell couldn't he have just accepted Dave's offer and gone and had a nice dinner date? Why did he have to open his big mouth and start all this crap? Why couldn't he just be happy? And then Hunter started talking, and Shawn felt his heart shrinking with every word. So smooth, so controlled... so goddamned fake. He knew Hunt was leaving things out, was doing what he thought was best... but what was he leaving out? Watching him from under his eyelashes, Shawn was too busy having his heart shredded by the man he'd loved from a distance for nearly a decade to really pay attention to the fine details. He bit his lip and looked away, curling further into himself, wishing that someone was there to hold him. "...I'm sorry Shawn, but I don't...feel...the same way..." Some sort of noise escaped him, but he barely noticed. This was exactly why he had never said anything. Now he'd finally confessed the truth and it was getting thrown back in his face and Hunter didn't feel the same way and their friendship had just been irreparably damaged and he was doomed to be alone because now of course Dave wasn't going to want to have anything to do with him... "You probably don't want to eat now, but there is a reservation for you..." He didn't care where they were, he just wanted out of this damned car and away from Hunter. Clearing his throat a couple of times, he finally found his voice and said, "Get my bags to my room, please?" Brushing shaky fingers across his cheek he was appalled but not terribly surprised to find tears, and wiped them off without looking at Hunter. "I'm sure you don't want to have anything to do with me now, Dave, but... if you could stand my company for a few more hours, I really don't want to be by myself right now. And..." He managed a thin smile at the big man. "I am actually starving." Getting out of the limo without looking behind him, he waited to see if he was going to have to suffer through eating by himself... not that he'd really notice, since he'd be far too busy dwelling on the whole "living the rest of his life alone" issue. Shivering a little, he hugged himself tightly, wondering what the hell he was supposed to do now. Hunter didn't love him---that way---and Dave didn't want to go out with him because of how he felt about Hunter, and he... he had no idea what he wanted, now, except not to be alone. And Dave... well, he'd been attracted to the big man for ages. If Dave could at least stand him enough to stay with him for dinner, he'd be okay. He could always go stay with Scott and Kev tonight... oh, hell no he couldn't. They'd been aching for time alone. He cursed softly. So he'd go back to an empty bed tonight. He should be used to that by now... he'd been dealing with it for long enough, after all. Finally sighing, he concluded that Dave didn't want to even eat with him, and started slowly toward the entrance. At least he'd be too wrapped up in his misery to notice the people staring at him. **** Scott was completely caught up in Kevin, but it was no surprise since that was the same thing that happened every time his lover touched him. It was only one of the reasons that Scott would always love Kevin. The big man had the ability to make him forget everything but the two of them and the connection that they shared. Scott knew that he needed to deal with the real world, but for just a little while he could lose himself in Kevin and forget all the turmoil he inevitably ended up causing. Kevin's slow lazy caress along his length was driving him crazy, making him ache for more skin on skin contact. The soft stroking of Kevin's hand over the back of his neck sent delicious little sparks running up and down his spine. These gentle touches were so in contrast to how they'd always been before. Since they had been back together, they seemed to be more in tune with each other than ever before and it had deepened the love he'd already had for Kevin. They'd always loved each other, but there had been things that had kept them apart at times, most notably Scott's dependence on the bottle. Since he'd managed to clean himself up this time around, things had been even better than before for the two of them. There had always been that rush to get to the end, most times with them skipping anything even close to resembling foreplay. Now though they took the time for the gentle slow kisses and tender touches. Maybe they were more mature now or maybe they were just thankful for what they'd almost lost. Scott wasn't sure which, but he loved the new facet of their relationship. But at the moment, Scott was ready to be alone with Kevin so that they could get down to business. The teasing for the last hour or so had him more than ready to get things moving along. Were they ever going to get to the hotel? Not that Scott would notice if they had, being that he was completely lost in the taste of Kevin's sweet, warm mouth. "The sooner we get to our room, the sooner I can have you naked and writhing." Kevin's words finally penetrated the haze in Scott's brain. Scott smiled at Kevin as he ran his fingers one more time slowly through his hair. "Well then what are we waiting for?" Scott scrambled off Kevin's lap and out the limo door. He waited for Kevin to climb out as well, then grabbed his hand and led him quickly towards the elevator, calling a hasty goodbye to Glen and Sean as he went. He tapped his foot impatiently on the floor while they waited for the elevator to arrive at the bottom floor, his hand tightly twined with Kevin's. As soon as the doors opened, he tugged Kevin inside behind him and then turned into his arms even as he pushed the button for their floor. Wrapping his arms around Kevin's waist, Scott snuggled close to him, counting every second until they hit their floor. Luckily there was no one else in the confined area, but Scott wouldn't have cared if there was. Fuck Vince. Scott was already most likely in the doghouse with the man, so if someone went running with tales of PDA to add to it, then so be it. He just didn't want to let Kevin go right now. His hands gently playing over the bottom of Kevin's spine, he tilted his head up to smile wickedly at his lover as the doors opened. "Think we can both be naked in two minutes or less?" he asked as he let one hand drop to the bulge in Kevin's pants for a brief stroke before turning and hurrying down the hall to their room. **** Dave sat back in the seat, his hands clenching unconsciously as Hunter started his little speech. Obviously Dave had been wrong...Hunter, the little bastard, would lie to Shawn. Even as Hunter spoke, Dave could read the contradictions in his eyes. Actor or no actor, Dave had watched Hunter more than most with all the close contact they'd had lately. For some reason Hunter felt the need to lie to both of them, but it was obvious as hell in the way he was holding himself that that's what he was doing. Of course Shawn wouldn't have really noticed with the way Hunter was tearing him to pieces. Nice misleading there about the beautiful people. Dave barely held back a snort of derision at the utter crap that was spilling out of Hunter's mouth. At least he'd been right about Hunter's relationship with Stephanie. "...if you could stand my company for a few more hours, I really don't want to be by myself right now." Dave barely kept himself from flinching over the pain in those words. He'd only wanted to make things right so that Shawn and Hunter could go play happily ever after and look at what had happened. He didn't deserve to spend time with Shawn after the mess he'd just caused, but there was no way he was going to leave him alone by himself. As Shawn got out of the limo, Dave turned and glared at Hunter, uncaring if the other man did take offense. That was nothing compared to how offensive he was about to be and if it ended up costing him his spot on the show, then so be it. "You know Hunter, when we first started working together, I thought you were the kind of guy I should admire in this business, the kind of guy I'd like to get to know. Of course I also thought your marriage to Steph was real, so I kept all those thoughts to myself. I couldn't even let myself accept your friendship because I was afraid you'd see right through me. You might play a bit of politics behind the scenes, but at least you were honest about doing it. I've never seen you lie to anyone and I've always respected you for that. I don't know why you felt the need just now to lie to your best friend and tear him to shreds, but that speech was the biggest line of bullshit I've ever heard," Dave said, his voice calm and cool despite his anger. His hands still clenched on his knees, Dave shook his head and looked sadly at the man beside him. "One of these days you're going to wish you'd told him the truth. I just hope that when that day comes, Shawn will forgive you. He's the best thing that ever could have happened to you and you just tossed him away like trash for a little bit of power with the company. If I'd known you were going to be that casual with his love for you, I'd have kept my damn mouth shut." Dave climbed out of the limo without looking back and spotted Shawn walking slowly towards the door to the restaurant. Taking a deep breath and suppressing both his anger and his misery over his own part in this fiasco, Dave walked up behind him and laid a hand tentatively on his shoulder. Walking around so that he could face Shawn, he smiled sadly as he raised one hand to Shawn's cheek letting his thumb trace over the pale skin. "You and I both know he was lying, Shawn, even if we don't know why. I shouldn't have said anything, even as much as it's true, and...I'm sorry for ever bringing it up. If you still want to have dinner with me, I'd love to spend time with you. I may be a big idiot sometimes, case in point, but I'm not a big enough idiot to turn down dinner with my favorite person." **** Adam finally spotted Jay sitting with Ty over at a corner table. As he crossed the room, he continued cursing himself for messing with Chris' head like he had, some friend he was. He considering dragging Jay off to talk privately, but he figured that most likely Jay would end up telling Tyson everything anyway, so he might as well just talk here. He sat down at the table and quickly flagged down a passing waitress to order two shots and another beer. He should keep his head clear, but he needed something to help dull the pain of dredging up all this shit again. As the waitress left to get the drinks, Adam turned to Jay with a grimace. "Jay, I really fucked up and I need you to help me figure out how to fix it," he said imploringly. Jay shook his head at him and scowled. "After what you told Chris earlier, why should I help you? A collar, Adam? And you weren't supposed to mention that room service thing...ever." "Geez, Jay, I was just teasing about that shit and I told him that. This is really important though, it... it has to do with Chris." Looking up as the waitress brought back the drinks, he handed her the money he owed plus a healthy tip and then downed the first shot. Jay raised a brow at him. "Are you trying to get drunk? And what made you join us tonight instead of...well, you know. Does this mean maybe you're finally getting over...?" "Yes I am trying to get drunk," Adam said, pausing to down the second shot before he answered any more of Jay's questions. "I've been over...him, for a long time now Jay. You know that. I just haven't managed to handle the being alone thing very well. As far as why I joined you tonight, well that is where the thing with Chris comes in...And why I need your help." After taking a large swallow of the beer in his glass, he set it back down and stared into the amber fluid as he tried to explain. "I came with you guys tonight because Chris was looking a little depressed earlier about something and...." "And you couldn't help but want to cheer him up, considering how you feel about him." Adam looked up in surprise at Jay. He should have known that his friend had figured out his attraction for Chris, even if he'd never spoken of it in so many words. "Yeah, well that's where the problem comes in. I pretty much just told him that...that I wanted him and I wanted to kiss him, but I just couldn't. I told him that he deserves better than me Jay and that's the truth. He deserves better than someone that has slept with so many people in the last year that I can't even remember half of them. I just wanted to try to be his friend and I messed it up. He probably won't even want to talk to me now." Just then he heard Chris' voice over the bands' music and his eyes flew towards the stage. 'God, look at him up there. He's so alive, so passionate about everything. If only I could have let myself....' No, he wasn't going to let himself go there. "Adam, as much as I've bitched about it, I'm not going to tell you that the one-night stands don't bother me, you'd know better. But I do understand why you do it. The thing is that you aren't going to find what you're looking for in a bunch of nameless people. You can't tell me that they make you feel less lonely or less betrayed." His eyes still fixed on Chris on the stage, Adam listened to what Jay was saying. He had to agree. Not one of those people had taken away the loneliness past the time it took to complete whatever sexual act they'd been involved in. As soon as it was over he was back to feeling just as lonely as he had beforehand. The betrayal? How did you get over someone lying to you for months? Then once you found out about the lies, them blaming you for the entire thing. "Terry is an ass for what he did, but you can't compare him to everyone. You ought to know that Chris is nothing like Terry. He would never cheat on you like Terry did or lie to you like that. I know you have that whole 'rule' thing going on now, but there can be exceptions, Adam. It's not ironclad. Hell you could toss the thing away when it comes to Chris and I doubt he's going to care about the other thing. If it makes you feel better then tell him about it, but Chris isn't lily-white either, so I doubt that will make any difference. I actually think that you two would be good together, so get your skinny ass up and go talk to him." That is what he was doing wasn't it? He knew that Chris and Terry were nothing alike. Could it really be that simple? He wasn't so sure that he agreed with Jay about Chris not minding the whoring around, but he'd never know unless he tried to explain it to him, would he? He was distracted momentarily by Chris shedding his shirt. Chris half-naked was always a good thing, though Adam was a little jealous over the fact that Trish was at the receiving end of his shirt. Shaking his head at himself, Adam realized that he didn't have a reason to be jealous at all. Chris wasn't his to be jealous over...at least not yet. Getting out of his seat, he leaned down and gave Jay a quick hug of thanks. That's when he remembered the other man sitting with them. Ty had been quiet the entire time and Adam hadn't had the guts to look at him to see his reactions to what they were talking about. "Thanks Jay. Wish me luck. Ty, I'm sorry for crashing in on you two like that. You may resume the under-table grope-fest now." Jay's mouth dropped open and he sputtered. Ty smiled at him and to Adam's surprise, spoke for the first time since he'd sat down. "Go fix it or I'll have to hurt ya." Adam blinked, then smiled. He shouldn't really be surprised that Ty would watch out for Chris. They were friends after all. In a much better frame of mind, Adam went about finding the area where the band would make their exit after the set. He leaned against the wall, his face set, almost daring anyone to try to make him move. They'd have to drag him out screaming if it came down to it. When Chris exited the stage, Adam reached out and put his hand on his arm to get his attention. "I know you are probably mad at me right now and you have every right to be, but could we talk for a minute? Somewhere quiet? There are a few things I need to tell you and I just... I just hope you give me the chance. Please?" **** Shawn was climbing out of the limo, his tragic face lined with tears. Hunter's hand actually shook and he could feel the tension in his shoulder as he almost reached out to grab Shawn and hold him in place. Why the fuck do you think you have the right to touch him now? He glared at his hands until they became still. Shawn was gone and Hunter felt the loss so keenly from within the iron fort he'd made of his feelings. A tingling numbness began to creep up his legs and he was so focused on the sensation that he almost missed Dave's words. The hate emanating from the other man was palpable. I thought you were the kind of guy I should admire in this business Just goes to show what a honourable, naive, decent son of a bitch you are Davey-Boy. Hunter didn't look up at the other man, he doubted he could stand to see the disgust in Dave's dark eyes. Dave was what the old timer's would call 'noble' and mean it. A man who would stick by you and stand up for you no matter what. Hell, he'd even tried to set up the man he loved with someone else just because it was the right thing to do. That kind of good was pretty rare in the business Hunter immersed himself in, and he'd been drawn to it. A desire that was so strong it was only rivaled by his obsession with Shawn. ..that speech was the biggest line of bullshit I've ever heard... Hunter's eyes snapped to the Big Man's in shock. There was no way he hadn't convinced them. No one would say something like what Hunter had just said and not mean it. Well, except you. And to top it all off, the man still sounded like he felt sorry for Hunter. What's a man like this doing caring about you? …have kept my damn mouth shut. Hunter's eyes were fixed to Dave's strong back as the man climbed for the limo. He watched through the tinted glass as Dave approached Shawn. They talked for a moment then the two went into the restaurant. "Yeah Dave, you probably should have," he agreed to the empty seats across from him. How could he be shivering when it was so warm outside? Had he really just casually tossed Shawn's love away? If Dave said so it was probably true, Dave was usually right about most things. Except, not about Hunter. But from his perspective he'd just saved his best friend from something that was a bad, bad idea. Oh, so self-sacrificing Hunter? More like a coward than a martyr. He wondered why his conscience sounded like Vince. A coward? Maybe...but it was done now. The two men he cared for more than anything were together and they would become closer now that Hunter was out of the picture. "Sir..." Ray's voice interrupted his morose thoughts. "Shall I take you back to the hotel?" No point in sitting here watching the carnage he'd just caused. "Yes. Thank you, Ray," he acknowledged with painful politeness. The trip took just minutes, that was why he'd asked for such a close restaurant after all. Stepping out of the limousine he buttoned his jacket and strolled towards reception like he hadn't just ripped his own heart out. He was the Game after all. Greg had already checked in for him so he simply asked for his key card and headed to his room. Most of the rest of the WWE talent were staying here and Hunter really didn't feel like running into anyone right now. Tossing his jacket carelessly over the back of the lounge, he undid two more buttons and picked up the phone. "Room service, can I help you?" The warm, friendly voice was almost soothing. "Hi, can I have two bottles of your best whiskey brought to suite four please?" His own voice was also friendly and relaxed. "Yes certainly...ahh...Mr. Helmsley. Can I get you anything else tonight?" "No thank you, just the whiskey." Hanging up Hunter wandered to his balcony and took three deep breaths. He felt remarkably calm. This wasn't something new after all, he'd done worse, just not to anyone he loved before. He hoped the whiskey would get here soon. **** Chris was almost in heaven right now. He could feel the sweat slicking his back and forehead, the crowd was going insane, Doctor Todd was practically drooling on him and the music was so FUCKING LOUD! Closest to heaven he'd been in a while, but then true heaven involved cotton sheets and a half empty tube of lube. With Adam it would be....NO! So not going there. Mac was saying something about a break, so CJ sauntered to the stairs, aware of the eyes of the crowd on him. They'd had an extra treat tonight when the King of the World showed up on stage and Chris was reveling in the attention. So what if Adam had done a runner? Chris had been lecturing himself about 'hands-off' the gorgeous blond two hours ago anyway. It was a good thing Adam had left him. Made it easier to resist temptation. After his little show on stage, he could pick up tonight no problem. No problem at all. Hey, Doctor Todd would be all over him if he gave the just the slightest permission. He could have anyone. Except Adam. And that was just the fucking killer wasn't it? He could get laid six ways from Sunday if he wanted. But not with Adam. After all...Adam mattered. Brushing off Doctor Todd's hand, Chris headed towards the band's dressing room. Just at that moment he was disgusted with himself. Todd was a shit-hot player and didn't deserve Chris playing cocktease just because he was pissy at Adam. He almost snapped Todd's head off when his arm was grabbed, till he realized it wasn't Todd. ...you are probably mad at me...Somewhere quiet? "Sure," CJ answered before he'd even thought about it. He resolved a long time ago that he'd more than likely say 'sure' to anything Adam asked of him. Taking Adam's wrist, Chris led them through the crowd in the back stage area towards the rear exit. Smiling at the bouncer who opened the door for them, they walked into the sudden quiet of the rear alley. The throbbing of the music from the club was muted here. A couple staggered away from them into the street beyond. Worried, CJ realized there may be something wrong. What had happened inside to upset Adam? Frowning he looked up into deep, beautiful eyes. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" Chris couldn't help the concern that coloured his voice. It was Adam. **** After the noisiness of the club, the alley seemed deathly quiet to Adam, although he swore he could hear his own heart thudding in his chest. As much as Jay's speech had convinced him that this would be a good thing to do, he was still scared to death that Chris was going to react badly to what he was going to tell him. "Are you okay? What's wrong?" Adam swallowed hard as he tried to decide how to answer that. Chris actually sounded worried about him or something so maybe this would turn out okay. "Yeah. I'm fine, Chris. I wanted to apologize actually. I know I've been blowing hot and cold with you all night and I'm really sorry about that. It may not make sense, but there is a reason for it and I want to explain." Adam could see the questions in Chris' eyes, and he wanted to answer them. Hopefully he could get it all out without letting his fears get a hold on him again. "Before you switched back to the Raw roster, I was actually trying to work up the courage to ask you out. Then when we found out about the switch I held off because we all know how hard it is to have any kind of long-distance relationship, let alone one that's just starting out. I kind of figured it was fate or something. Then a few months later when Terry came back, we hit it off. It wasn't so much dating as going back to the hotel to ... well you know. I didn't love him, but we were good friends and I got used to having someone around...we were supposed to be exclusive for whatever that might say." Maybe that didn't paint him in the best light possible, but it was the truth. The last thing he wanted to do was lie to Chris. Adam let his eyes drop to the ground and he leaned back against the brick wall of the building as he started the next part of the story. This was the part that was going to hurt. Regardless that he and Terry were just friends, betrayal was never easy. "When I went out for my surgery, he was there. Saying all the right things, helping me out the first week. He'd just gone through it himself and it helped having him there. He called me every night the second week while he was gone. The calls started tapering off after that and he had reasons for not coming to see me that seemed to make sense. I was already chafing because of the surgery and the fact that I'd gotten used to having someone sleeping with me at nights and I didn't have that anymore either." He felt so weak for having to admit that. What kind of guy couldn't stand to sleep by himself. It was just damn pitiful. He shifted against the wall, the bricks biting slightly into his back reminded him that he wasn't finished talking yet. "When I got my soft collar on, I decided to visit Smackdown so that I could say hi to everyone and hopefully hook up with Terry to find out what was going on. I didn't let anyone know I was going to be there and when I showed up, I could tell that some people were acting funny around me. I finally tracked down Terry's dressing room after three people sent me in the wrong direction...that's when I found out why they had tried. I walked in on Terry and Brock. They weren't fucking, but you could tell that's where it was headed. Needless to say Terry was shocked. He tried to apologize, but I was too pissed off to listen. Brock just laughed and let it 'slip' that they'd been messing around since two weeks before my surgery." "Terry and I got into a yelling match and he shoved me. Brock of all people stepped in the middle of it. Terry was so pissed off that he either didn't remember or didn't care that he could have sent me back to the hospital...or the morgue. I went to the bar that night and got totally shit-faced. I picked up the first guy that made a pass at me and I've done that pretty much every night since. Well not the getting shit-faced part. I wasn't going to get hooked on alcohol so instead I let myself get hooked on one-night stands. I've slept with so many guys in the last year that I don't even remember half of them." He wanted to look and see Chris' reaction to what he'd said so far, but he was scared to death that he'd look up and find his eyes full of disgust or something worse. "That's why I have the rule about dating guys in the company. It wasn't until Jay reminded me, and I say reminded because I do already know, that you aren't anything at all like Terry. I was just using it as an excuse not to put myself on the line. Jay seemed to think you wouldn't hold my whoring around against me either. I didn't want you to think that I'm not interested, because I am. Damn interested. I'm just not so sure that I’m good enough for someone like you, Chris. You're so bright and full of life. I spend way too much time watching you at work and that makes me sound like a stalker or something, but...I saw how sad you were earlier and I wanted to see you smile again." Adam finally managed to raise his eyes from the ground and look at the man standing in front of him. He wasn't sure how Chris was going to react to everything he had said, but he at least owed him the courtesy of looking at him when he did react. If he was lucky then maybe he and Chris could still be friends. If he was very lucky then what Jay had said would be true and Chris would be able to look past all his faults and give him a shot. **** CJ was honestly stunned by what he was hearing. His brain had almost stuttered to a halt on the "courage to ask you out" line. It had nearly fried when he heard what Terry had done. Chris remembered that time acutely. He'd finished a programme with Edge and been buoyed on the chemistry they'd had in the ring. Australia had been a fantastic tour, with them both acting up and being totally insane inside and outside the ring. The plastic chair thing still made him grin even now. They'd sat next to each other on the god-awful flight home and that was when Adam had started to matter. Giving the stewards, both male and female, marks out of ten. Having a chopstick fight over their noodle soup and listening to Adam tell him all about growing up down the road from Jay. It was the longest conversation they'd ever had and CJ had treasured the memory of having Edge's full and undivided attention. Not long after they got back, JR had called him to talk about moving to RAW for a run against Shawn Michaels. The chance to work with his life long idol and thirteen year crush had been too much bait to refuse. He'd jumped. If he'd known he was leaving Adam behind, he would have said "no thanks". And now beautiful Adam was telling him he'd been hurt and betrayed by the lover he'd taken to stave off loneliness. That that stupid fuck Terry had almost killed him when he lost his infamous temper, that Adam had thought so little of himself that he'd allowed anyone to touch him just so he didn't feel alone. God, if he didn't feel so angry and so fucking sad, he'd almost laugh. All he'd had to do was have the guts to make a pass at Adam and the last year wouldn't have happened. CJ would never have let....Well, no need to dwell on that. Adam was all that counted right now. The precious man who was leaning against the wall, tense and ready for the rejection CJ sensed he expected. As if. Chris might say 'no' to Adam's declaration of affection. He might also saw his own dick off with a pocket knife, but was it going to happen? Not in a million years. Thinking of dicks, CJ's body had decided that it wanted to be where it had been just a little while ago. Edge had been touching him before, so if what he was saying was true and Chris doubted Adam would lie to him, then he'd liked touching Chris. Liked it a lot. and I wanted to see you smile again. "You did?" Chris kept his voice low, just a murmur in the still alley. It was steamingly hot and he was glad he still didn't have his shirt. Although he felt pretty fucking vulnerable standing half-naked in front of the guy who'd just bared his soul to him. He should probably reciprocate. But Chris liked body contact when he talked, so he got some. Taking the bigger than usual three steps, he leaned his entire body against Adam's. Although he always felt short at the arena surrounded by absolute giants, Adam was just tall enough to please Chris, without him feeling like a little kid. He softly nuzzled his face back into the smooth neck so near his nose and took two fistfuls of the shirt at Adam's hips. Not even waiting to see if the other man closed the embrace he explained. "You made me smile the moment you breathed in my ear Adam," CJ didn't try to conceal the husky aroused note that had entered his voice. "Babe I don't care if you've slept with the entire roster, I'd do anything to have your attention. Hah. Even strip off and bounce on stage like a pole-dancer. I didn't...." Chris muffled his words a bit into warm, aftershave smelling skin. "I didn't know you liked me, or I'd never have jumped to Raw. I just figured that I didn't have a chance with you and was too scared to take the risk you'd turn me down." Chris leaned his head back and fell into the hottest green eyes he'd ever seen. "I nearly picked up a twenty-year-old bass guitarist just to prove that I could, so what does that say about my morals? Maybe..." he licked his suddenly dry lips. "Maybe we could stop treating ourselves so badly and give it a shot. I'm not asking for anything you don't want to give Babe, whatever to have to spare I'll take." He'd initiated a kiss last time and Adam had run, so maybe it would be pushing it try again. But Adam had said, he thought highly of Chris so...what the hell. No-one ever said CJ was a cautious person. Gently he leaned up, giving the taller man a chance to avoid him if he wanted, and brushed his lips softly to Adams. **** Shawn jerked to a halt when he felt a hand fall gently on his shoulder. He didn't curse this time; he knew who it was. Although a cynical little voice in the back of his head was muttering something about history repeating itself, he could feel the weight on his heart lighten just a little. Maybe Dave wasn't going to just give up on him after all. As long as the only result of tonight wasn't just his best friend ripping his heart out and stomping on it, he could deal with it. As much as his thoughts were jumping around, he wasn't prepared for the soft touch on his cheek and the open tenderness of the gesture brought tears to his eyes again. He blinked them away, already starting to seal up the weaknesses that the scene in the limo had provoked. He might end up crying himself to sleep, but he wasn't going to admit it if he did and he sure as hell wasn't going to cry in public. "If you still want to have dinner with me, I'd love to spend time with you." He couldn't have prevented the smile that crossed his face at those words any more than he could prevent himself from breathing. Maybe there was some hope after all... unless Dave was just pitying him? The one thing he'd never been able to take was pity. "...I'm not a big enough idiot to turn down dinner with my favorite person." His eyes widened for an instant at those words. Maybe he didn't have to worry about pity after all. Cocking his head slightly, he looked up at Dave, not realising how much his expression revealed. "Favourite person, huh? Well, as long as you don't expect perfection, 'cause that's damned hard to come by, these days. Dinner with you would be wonderful, Dave." His voice softened a little as he allowed it to reflect some of his emotion. "If... If nothing else, I'd greatly appreciate the company. But I'd be happy if you wanted to think of it as my accepting your earlier invitation." Looking into Dave's eyes for a long moment, he saw regret and anger there, along with other unidentifiable emotions. Finally pulling his gaze away, he nodded toward the building. "I doubt I'm really dressed for this place, but you should be just fine." Another smile, trying to rebuild some of himself. Reluctantly he stepped away from the touch that was almost anchoring him in place. Taking a step toward the entrance, he reached out without thinking and took Dave's hand, encouraging the big man to walk alongside him. He nodded at the maitre d' once inside and gave his name, shaking his head when the man asked where the third person was. "He... he couldn't make it." Damn. His voice had trembled there. The maitre d' raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything, and Shawn was silent as they were escorted to their table. Only when he started to sit down did he realise that he'd been holding Dave's hand the entire time and flushed faintly as he forced his fingers to release their grip. "Sorry about that," he murmured. "I didn't realise..." The menus being placed in front of them and the recitation of the specials of the evening distracted him and he glanced over the menu, ordering a longtime favourite before daring to look at Dave again. **** to be continued... |