COMEDYLAB
MUSHAYARALAB
MAVERICKS HOME
SILHOUETTES 2002
Mel Gibson and I are through, well just what's a girl to do
It's always been a one sided kind of affair
while I've admired his strong, tanned arms
He's never once noticed MY charms
I'm still single- when we could have been a pair.
I've sat in the front row, looking closely at my beau
as he dodged the flying bullets with the cops,
But my cleavage went unnoticed
while as a hero he was toasted
I went home alone to Milo and bedsocks.
If an hour or so he'd proffered, I could have shown him what I'd offer
With me legs waxed and me hair dyed, I can dream,
When it came to big romance
it seems I never stood a chance
against those Hollywood starlets on the silver screen.
I've sighed at night alone, waiting by the telephone
and I've sent him loving letters, you can scoff!
I thought my lemon sponge
would have made him take the plunge
But my air of mystery never did take off.
Mel, I've had enough, I've got me pride, and this is tough
But we're finished now, what have I got to lose?
dash it all, it breaks my heart, but we really have to part,
oh! and while I'm at it, me same goes for Tom Cruise.
Of Course I Love You
How can you doubt that I love you?
Didn't I marry you, eh?
And though I don't say it too often,
I show it in all sorts of ways.
I'd take you out dining and dancing...
Can you find me a mountain to climb?
An ocean to cross? A boulder to toss?
I'd do them if I had the time.
I'd give you the shirt off me back, love,
I'd give you me last pair of socks;
And last time we went into town, love,
Didn't I buy you a frock?
I let you go home nice and early,
So you have the time to cook tea;
Remember that sometimes on Sundays
I give you the afternoon free.
I tell who when you're being bitchy,
I notice when you're getting fat;
I give you free rein in my tool shed,
I let you wear my fav'rite hat.
So next time you're thinkin' of leaving,
Remember that I think yer great;
And though there are times when yer grumpy...
Fair dinkum, yer still me best mate.
Who else would I trust with the cheque book?
And who else knows just what I like?
And when there are paddocks to muster
Who else but you borrows my bike?
I'll eat humble pie if I have to,
I'll say that I've been a right jerk,
I'll tell you I love you; I've done it: okay?
Now bloody-well come back to work