Hello, this is KVKE, you're on the air.
(Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please
wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press
pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number.
If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6,
ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to
leave
your number and the time you called, please press >star twice,
spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP
This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious".
Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP
Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the
shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done...
(Cachunk!)
Thank you for calling 434-2322. If you wish to speak to Tim, push 1
on your touch tone phone now. If you wish to speak to Lynn, push 2 on your
touch tone phone now. If you have a wrong number, push 3 on your
touch tone phone now. All of this button pushing doesn't do anything, but
it is a good way to work off anger, and it makes us feel like we have a
big time phone
system.
I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait. This is so confusing.
The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.
You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns
are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is
done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for
literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge
for this initial consultation. However our staff of professional extortionists
will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits
of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to
speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
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