9. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
8. Lottery: A tax on people who are bad at math.
7. If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?
6. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
5. Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep.
4. My son beat up your honor student.
3. I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather... not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
2. Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home.
1. I love cats... they taste just like chicken.
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