Theological Chicken Crossing

Conservative:

Because the chicken was obviously a change agent, disguising its own prideful attitude in false piety. We'll pray for this erring chicken that it will come to its senses and return to the right side of the road.

Liberal:

Because the chicken started examining the status quo of its upbringing and decided that that's not where God wanted it to be, and through a re-reading of Road Crossing Rules, looking at the Rules in a new way, the chicken came to the conclusion, through honest study and prayer, that crossing the road was not specifically condemned in the Rules and was therefore okay.

Youth Minister:

Well, see, I've been working up to this for a long time. The chicken needed a new perspective on the road, so I developed this program called "Poultry Progress" designed to explore the benefits of road crossing and to challenge the chicken to live beyond what it had been in the past. And there was also pizza and a movie.

Deacon:

We set up a committee to decide what day and how often the chicken should cross the road, how much it will cost, and who will be responsible for the report to the elders about it.

Elder:

It's the deacons' job to monitor the chicken crossing the road.

Preacher:

That reminds me of an illustration ...

Joe Pew-Sitter:

We have a chicken? I've been a faithful member of this church for twenty years, and nobody ever told me we had a chicken!

In the spirit of not taking ourselves too seriously,

Darin Martin
dmartin@oeonline.com

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