Top 10 Ways to Tell if You Were Raised in the Church of Christ

10. You know the 1st, 2nd, and 4th verses to nearly every song in the book.
9. You think it might be unscriptural to drain the baptistry.
8. You were 18 years old before you knew that "guideguardanddirectus" was not one word.
7. You think the offering is part of the Lord's Supper, or . . .
6. You can't lead the prayer at the Lord's Supper table without stating that "The meal is concluded and now as a matter of convenience we'll take the offering."
5. You ever wondered who Ebon Pinion was.
4. You have stood for 13 verses of "Just As I Am" with the last stanza sung softly.
3. You know the days of miracles has passed, but do believe that a closing prayer can turn a worship service into a business meeting or into an appropriate time for a concert.
2. You have never been to a church that wasn't named after the street it was located on.
1. You think it's okay to have TAPED organ music of the Wedding March but not the organ itself.

HONORABLE MENTION

You don't think of people as going home, but to their "places of abode."
You think of the sick as being on "beds of affliction."
You have never been to a revival, but have attended lots of "Gospel Meetings."
You plan to be back at the church building "at the next appointed time."
You've never seen a Mourner's Bench, but have seen lots of people "go forward" and "publicly respond."
You've ever wondered what would happen if the preacher did not have a "ready recollection of the things that he studied."
You know, and teach, that the building isn't "the church," people are. But you still don't feel 100% comfortable eating a meal in the building.
You've never "moved your letter" or "joined a church," but have "placed your membership" or have "identified with a congregation."
You believe we're to teach and encourage one another as we sing, but would be very suspicious if more than one person was at the front of the building leading you in it at one time.
You have been reminded weekly that the collection is "separate and apart from the Lord's Supper."
You stay out of "sanctuaries," but spend a lot of time in auditoriums.
The newest song you can sing is at least one generation removed from your own.

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