Funny Movie Quotes II

The Naked Gun

Frank Drebin: It's true what they say: Cops and women don't mix. It's like eating a spoonful of Drano, sure it'll clean you out, but it'll leave you hollow inside.

Jane Spencer: I've heard police work is dangerous.
Frank Drebin: It is. That's why I carry a big gun.
Jane Spencer: Aren't you afraid it might go off accidently?
Frank Drebin: I used to have that problem.
Jane Spencer: What did you do about it?
Frank Drebin: I just think about baseball.
Frank Drebin: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.
Jane Spencer: Goodyear?
Frank Drebin: No, the worst.
Drebin: Just think, next time I shoot someone, I could be arrested.
Frank Drebin: It's fourth and fifteen and you're looking at a full-court press.
Mayor: That was a Shakespeare In The Park production, you moron! You killed five actors! Good ones!
Frank Drebin: Yeah? Well, when I see five weirdos stabbing a guy in broad daylight, I shoot the bastards. That's my policy.
Ed: A hunch won't stand up in court, Frank. Going into Ludwig's office without a warrant, you're taking a big chance.
Frank: I know. You take a chance getting up in the morning, crossing the street or sticking your face in a fan.
Frank Drebin: Jane, since I've met you I've noticed things that I never knew were there before; birds singing, dew glistening on a newly formed leaf, stoplights.
Frank Drebin: Wilma, I promise you; whatever scum did this, not one man on this force will rest one minute before until he's behind bars. Now, let's grab a bite to eat.
[Frank Drebin is emptying out his files after being kicked off the force]
Frank Drebin: Hey! The missing evidence in the Kelner case! He really was innocent!
Ed Hocken: Frank, Kelner went to the chair two years ago.
Frank Drebin: Well, uh......
[Frank Drebin quickly shoves the evidence back into the file cabinet]
Jane Spencer: I wanted you to know, now, I've loved you since the first day I met you, and I'll never stop. I'm a very lucky woman.
Frank Drebin: So am I...

Quentin Hapsburg: You do speak French don't you?
Lt. Frank Drebin: Unfortunately no, but I do kiss that way.

[Hector Savage is in a house surrounded by armed police... He makes his demands]
Hector Savage: I want a car out front, something fun, a Porsche, then I want a plane ticket to Jamaica... And I want a nice hotel, no touristy place... Something really indicative of the people and their culture.
[Lt. Frank Drebin making a speech at the White House]
Lt. Frank Drebin: ...blowing away a fleeing suspect with my 44 magnum used to mean everything to me, I enjoyed it, well who wouldn't?
[Lt. Frank Drebin making a speech at the White House]
Lt. Frank Drebin: I want a world where Frank junior and all the Frank juniors can sit under a shady tree, breathe the air, swim in the ocean, and go into a 7-11 without an interpreter.
Lt. Frank Drebin: The truth hurts doesn't it, Hapsburg? Oh, sure maybe not as much as jumping on a bike with the seat missing...

The Princess Bride

[Buttercup kisses the senile King.]
The King: What was that for?
Buttercup: Because you have always been so kind to me, and I won't be seeing you again since I'm killing myself once we reach the honeymoon suite.
The King: Won't that be nice. She kissed me!

[The Grandson, interrupting the story in a kissing-scene]
The Grandson: Hold it, hold it! What is this? Are you trying to trick me? Where's the sports? Is this a kissing-book???
Inigo Montoya: That Vizzini, he can fuss.
Fezzik: Fuss, fuss... I think he like to scream at us.
Inigo Montoya: Probably he means no harm.
Fezzik: He's really very short on charm.
Inigo Montoya: You have a great gift for rhyme.
Fezzik: Yes, yes, some of the time.
Vizzini: Enough of that!
Inigo Montoya: Fezzik, are there rocks ahead?
Fezzik: If there are, we all be dead!
Vizzini: No more rhymes now, I mean it!
Fezzik: Anybody want a peanut?
Vizzini: DYEEAAHHHHHH!!
[Vizzini has just cut the rope The Dread Pirate Roberts is climbing up]
Vizzini: HE DIDN'T FALL? INCONCEIVABLE!
Inigo Montoya: You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means.
Inigo Montoya: I donna suppose you coulda speed things up??
Westley: If you're in such a hurry, you could lower a rope or a tree branch or find something useful to do.
Inigo Montoya: I could do that. I have some rope up here, but I do not think you would accept my help, since I am only only waiting around to kill you.
Westley: That does put a damper on our relationship.
Inigo Montoya: I do not mean to pry, but you don't by any chance happen to have six fingers on your right hand?
Westley: Do you always begin conversations this way?
Inigo Montoya: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to kill you.
Westley: You seem a decent fellow, I hate to die.
Inigo Montoya: Who are you?
Westley: No one of consequence.
Inigo Montoya: I must know...
Westley: Get used to disappointment.
Inigo Montoya: 'kay.
Vizzini: I can't compete with you physically, and you're no match for my brains.
Westley: You're that smart?
Vizzini: Let me put it this way. Have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?
Westley: Yes.
Vizzini: Morons.
Vizzini: Now, a clever man would put the poison into his own goblet, because he would know that only a great fool would reach for what he was given. I am not a great fool, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you. But you must have known I was not a great fool, you would have counted on it, so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me...
Vizzini: You only think I guessed wrong - that's what's so funny! I switched glasses when your back was turned! Ha-ha, you fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders, the most famous of which is "Never get involved in a land war in Asia", but only slightly less famous is this: "Never go in against a Sicilian, when death is on the line!" Hahahahahah!
[Vizzini falls over dead]
Buttercup: We'll never survive!
Westley: Nonsense! you're only saying that because no one ever has.
Prince Humperdinck: Surrender!
Westley: You mean you wish to surrender to me? Very well, I accept...
Inigo Montoya: Are you the Miracle Max who worked for the king all those years?
Miracle Max: The King's stinking son fired me, and thank you so much for bringing up such a painful subject. While you're at it, why don't you give me a nice paper cut and pour lemon juice on it? We're closed!

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