Theological Light Bulb Changing

Mormons:

Two. One to stand on the bicycle seat and change it, the other to pray for the all the dead light bulbs that have gone on before. And it'll take them two years.

Presbyterians:

It was predestined to go out; leave it alone.

Millenialists:

One hundred and forty-four thousand.

Episcipalians:

Three. One for the Father, one for the Son, one for the Holy Ghost.

Catholics:

I don't know, but they'll probably celebrate the changing with bingo or something.

Jehovah's Witnesses:

It never really was a light bulb.

Pentecostals:

Five. One to change the bulb, and four to bind the powers of darkness in the name of Jesus.

Church of Christ members:

Just one. But if anyone other than them does it, the light won't go on.

Youth Ministers:

One. He'll change it, but then he'll get his overworked youth volunteers and his Youth Leadership Council to organize the pizza party.

Conservatives:

Did someone say "change"?

Progressives:

Let's explore some bulb-changing techniques to see which one feels the best.

Darin Martin
dmartin@oeonline.com

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