Comparison of Religious Theory in the Late 20th Century
- Capitalism:
- He who dies with the most toys, wins.
- Hari Krishna:
- He who plays with the most toys, wins.
- Catholicism:
- He who denies himself the most toys, wins.
- Anglican:
- They were our toys first.
- Greek Orthodox:
- No, they were OURS first.
- Branch Davidians:
- He who dies playing with the biggest toys, wins.
- Atheism:
- There is no toy maker.
- Polytheism:
- There are many toy makers.
- Evolutionism:
- The toys made themselves.
- Church of Christ, Scientist:
- We are the toys.
- Communism:
- Everyone gets the same number of toys, and you go straight to hell if we catch you selling yours.
- B'Hai:
- All toys are just fine with us.
- Amish:
- Toys with batteries are surely a sin.
- Taoism:
- The doll is as important as the dumptruck.
- Mormonism:
- Every boy can have as many toys as he wants.
- Voodoo:
- Let me borrow that doll for a second.
- Hedonism:
- To heck with the rule book!? Let's play!
- Hinduism:
- He who plays with bags of plastic farm animals, loses.
- 7th Day Adventist:
- He who plays with his toys on Saturday, loses.
- Church of Christ:
- He whose toys make music, loses.
- Baptist:
- Once played, always played.
- Jehovah's Witnesses:
- He who sells the most toys door-to-door, wins.
- Pentecostalism:
- He whose toys can talk, wins.
- Existentialism:
- Toys are a figment of your imagination.
- Confucianism:
- Once a toy is dipped in the water, it is no longer dry.
- Non-denominationalism:
- We don't care where the toys came from, let's just play with them.
- Agnosticism:
- It is not possible to know whether toys make a bit of difference.
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