"WAITING TO INHALE"

In 1995, a movie came out that was based on a novel by Terry McMillan. The story revolved around four African-American women who were waiting for "true love" to find them - waiting to enter a relationship of commitment and nurture where they could let their guard down, where they would be valued for who they are...a place just "to be"...a place to be sheltered and cherished. The author...and the title of the movie...described this state of painful anticipation as "Waiting to Exhale."

That's a fitting description of the way many of us live our lives these days: no real down time, 24/7, always "on," always striving, secretly yearning for that place of nurture, safety and refreshment.

For 11 years, "Cheers" was one of the greatest successes in the history of television. Was it because so few of us have familiar, comfortable places to be ourselves these days that "Cheers" offered a sense of homey comfort? Did people love the "Cheers" bar because, secretly, each of us yearns to have a place to go to "where everybody knows your name"?

Peace...intimacy, love, trust, belonging, community, identity: these are things that our spirits crave...and these are the things the world cannot give us. Jesus spoke to his disciples' most basic fears and insecurities when he shared his "farewell speech" with them. The flesh-encased Christ knew well about the longings and loneliness that reside inside every human heart.

But Jesus offered to the disciples...and offers to us now...a way to fill that emptiness. Jesus promised that, through love, he and God will "come to" and "make a home" in the hearts of all who love them and want them there. Oftentimes we give gifts to people who are going away, but Jesus did it the other way around. He said, "I am going away.... [But here's a gift for you.] Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you." We are promised that, if we will love God and follow Christ to the best of our frail abilities, the Holy Spirit will make up the difference and, despite all our strivings and shortcomings, we will have access to the one thing that nothing in this world can give us: the peace of God.

The worldly definition of peace is a negative statement - it's "the absence of conflict." But we already know from plenty of experience that the world can't even really provide that. In the same way that nature will always fill the empty space of a vacuum, it generally seems that humanity is driven to fill every "absence" of conflict with new eruptions of violence. Just look at "peace accords" made, repeatedly, by Israel and Palestine...and how, repeatedly, the violence erupts anew as if people just can't stand the vacuum of the absence of conflict. Worldly peace is always based on someone accepting defeat and someone else ruling in triumph. No one in the world can "give" peace to another. We can only speak of peace being "won" or "declared" or "established."

And even the peace that might be "won" or "declared" or "established" doesn't set our hearts at ease or our souls at rest. If anything, treaties and peace pacts tend to heighten the tensions between people, bringing careful watching and light-sleeping to those most dedicated to "keeping the peace."

The price of worldly peace is eternal vigilance. It seems fittingly ironic that we refer to occupying armed forces as "peacekeeping units." Peace as the absence of conflict is only as strong as the effort it takes for a single finger to pull a single trigger.

So where is peace to be found? In Valyermo, California, a group of Benedictine monks have converted a 400-acre ranch into a religious community called St. Andrew's Priory. As you enter the grounds, you find that the land is posted with a large sign: "No Hunting - Except for Peace."

We are all hunting for peace. Where will we find the peace we seek? It just seems so trite to say, "In Jesus." We've seen that on too many bumper stickers and billboards. The truth is, right now, many of us are more likely to identify with the T-shirt that read, "Did you ever get the feeling that life is a bird and you're a parked car?"

In our angst and yearning and desire for shelter and acceptance and love, we've tried all kinds of ways to find peace for our hearts and spirits. Most often we've tried to find peace through other people and things. "Finding the right lover...that'll make everything O.K." "The right job...friends who like me...settling things with my family...a house and a car and nice clothes that show the people around me that I'm worthy and valuable and good. If I had all that, then I'd have peace." Isn't that what the world teaches us? Isn't that what the world expects?

Humorist Erma Bombeck once wrote about her attempts to live up to the expectations of others. She said, "I did as I was told. I was fussy about my peanut butter, fought cavities, became depressed over yellow wax buildup. I was responsible for my husband's underarms being protected for 12 hours. I was responsible for making sure my children had a well-balanced breakfast. I alone was carrying the burden for my dog's shiny coat. We believed that if we converted to all the products that marched before our eyes, we could be the best, the sexiest, the freshest, the cleanest, the thinnest, the smartest and the first on our block to be regular. Purchasing for the entire family was the most important thing I had to do." I don't have the exact quote, but later, when Erma was dying of cancer, I believe she wrote something about how, if she had it to do over, she would have spent less time obsessing over what the neighbors might think and more time living with joy and dwelling in peace.

Jesus said, "...my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give. Don't let your hearts be troubled, and do not let them be afraid." It sounds like we're being told that WE HAVE A CHOICE! The world around us is never going to give us the peace of heart and mind and soul and spirit that we are dying for! NEVER! But the peace we want so badly is available to us.

Jesus also said, "...the Holy Spirit, whom God will send...will teach you everything and remind you of all that I have said to you." There is nothing in this world that can give us lasting peace. But God's Holy Spirit can. WE have to choose it. We have to open ourselves to it. We must not LET our hearts be troubled and afraid. We must CHOOSE to love God enough to welcome in that Spirit which brings with it the peace of Christ that the world cannot provide. I've told you before: I don't think it's any accident that the Hebrew word for "spirit" is "ruach." It literally means "wind" or "breath." The "ruach" of God - the "breath" of God.

We keep longing and looking and yearning for peace in our lives. But the Spirit - the very breath of God - is ready and waiting to enter into us to bring that peace the world cannot provide. We need to stop waiting to inhale! We need to breathe...as deeply as we can...allowing God's spirit to come in and settle all the chaos that is churning around inside us.

Breathing in the Spirit of God does not come naturally to us because of all the world has taught us about survival. I remember just before moving to St. Louis...I took scuba diving lessons. I haven't exactly had great use for my diving certification here, mind you. But I learned something that applies well for us today.

When you're completely submerged in water, your first inclination is to hold your breath. It doesn't take many previous experiences of trying to breathe underwater to teach one NOT TO DO THAT AGAIN! But, in scuba diving, the #1 rule is NEVER hold your breath! The physics of buoyancy and air pressure and water pressure demand that you continue to breath...even though it seems so unnatural.

Everything about life in this world teaches us to hold our breath. We get on edge and stay on edge about everything. We grasp and claw and cling and hold our breath just waiting for the next catastrophe in this tornado of stress that we live in. We don't dare relax our grip on anything. If we're good people, aren't we supposed to be troubled and afraid? If we weren't, wouldn't that mean we just don't care?

And yet, again we hear: "My peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not let them be afraid." Stop waiting to inhale. Peace will never come unless we stop resisting the Spirit and breathe deeply - not expecting the world to change but allowing ourselves to be changed.

It doesn't feel natural to us. It doesn't come with a money-back guarantee...because we aren't asked to pay for it - and that certainly raises suspicion in our world. It often just doesn't make sense and so we go back to looking for true love and human approval and material things to bring us peace. It's too simple to be true.

But a guy named Paul once wrote, "Always be glad because of the Lord! I'll say it again: Be glad. Always be gentle with others [and with yourself!] Christ is close by. Don't worry about anything, but pray about everything. With thankful hearts offer up your prayers and requests to God. Then, because you belong to Christ Jesus, God will bless you with peace that no one can completely understand. And this peace will control the way you think and feel."

We desperately need the peace that Jesus offers us. And we can choose to have it and live in it and depend on it and use it...even if we don't completely understand it.

I know a therapist who always tells her clients at the end of a session, "And don't forget to breathe."

Folks...we need to stop waiting to inhale...and breathe in the Spirit of God and know the peace of Christ. None of the details of our outer lives will be any different. But the reality of our inner worlds can be changed forever! Amen.

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