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Get your own, Free HomepageAnd it's not just football. I'm really good at pointing out the mistakes in Olympic gymnastics, too! You see, I was once on the gymnastics team in high school. Never mind that I was the worst gymnast on the team. I once actually received a score of 1.0 for a routine on the uneven parallel bars. 1.0 is the base score you get if you can walk over to the apparatus unaccompanied.
But I can watch some Olympic gymnast fly through the air, twisting and turning their body in ways never thought to be humanly possible...grasping a bar or a ring or a 4-inch wide wooden beam while doing a triple back with a full layout while in a pike position, and then go, "Oh, jeez, didn't stick the landing!!" Most of us are good at noticing what others do wrong--especially if we believe they've done something wrong towards us!
Now it's true that people often do things wrong to us. People hurt our feelings...embarrass us...offend us...disappoint us. It's especially upsetting when we experience these wrong-doings at the hands of other--supposed--Christians. That's when our "wrong-doing" radar really kicks in! It's easy enough to use the little bit of knowledge we possess about how Christians are "supposed" to behave in order to justify our anger...our disappointment..our hurt...when a sister or brother does or says something that we deem to be inappropriate.
But this morning I don't want to talk with you about how other Christians are supposed to behave. I want us to think about how we--as Christians--are to respond to the behavior of others! In many ways, that's what our Lesson (Colossians 3:12-17) reading this morning was all about. Our response to others. In his letter to the people of the Colossian church, St. Paul encourages the people--and that still includes all of us--to "put on" certain virtues and attributes in our dealings with others. The original language used actually denoted "putting on" these things like a garment. Now we aren't born wearing garments, are we? Someone chooses to clothe us. Then as we get older, we don't fall out of bed all dressed for the day. Every day we wake up and choose what garments we will wear, don't we? For some, that's a longer process than for others, but...
Well, Paul is telling us here that we must choose certain characteristics to "wear" in our relationships with others. He mentions relational qualities like compassion, kindness, patience, forgiveness. And he doesn't seem to mention anything about "If" you receive these things first! In a metaphorical sense, some of us really need to change clothes! Too often we choose garments of judgment, anger, impatience and vengefulness.
The problem is...not only are these garments really unpleasant for others to look at, they're also sorely uncomfortable to wear! If we wear them long enough, we'll find that they chafe us...choke us...hamper our ability to relax and be at peace. If you'll excuse the graphic imagery, after awhile wearing such garments becomes like having a constant spiritual wedgie! Something feels really painful but we aren't quite sure how to fix it!!
So we need to change out of these garments that hurt...and into garments that will help. When we learn to respond to others the way Paul teaches in this passage, we will find that not only are we helped...we find peace and joy and thankfulness in our daily lives...but we can then also help our sisters and brothers.
We can encourage by example...we can teach gently...we can help them change, if need be, with patience and love. So...how do we change out of these garments that hurt and put on garments that will help? Picture Clark Kent stepping into a phone booth to shed his "everyman" suit to don the cape and giant S that identify him as "Superman."
Now picture these "garments" of relationship virtues we are to wear as being emblazoned with big symbolic letters also. What we want to do is take off the garments marked H.U.R.T. and put on garments marked H.E.L.P.
We start with H. Actually this garment can stay...we'll think of it as the foundational garment...the underwear. Now, remember, we're thinking metaporically here...I am not saying "Don't ever change your underwear!" "H" stands for here. Because, you see, that's where HURT starts...and that's where HELP starts: right here...within each of us. We determine what hurts us. And we can determine to seek help instead of hurt. All Christian response starts right here.
After H, though, some changes have to be made. First, we have to shed that garment with the giant U. That's the one that casts blame. It says "YOU! You did this to me! It's your fault. How could you be so thoughtless and stupid! You, you, you!!!" Blame, blame, blame!
The story is told about the manager of a minor league baseball team who was so disgusted with his center fielder's performance that he ordered him to the dugout and took over the position himself. The first ball that came into center field took a bad hop and hit the manager in the mouth. The next one was a high fly ball, which he lost in the glare of the sun--until it bounced off his forehead. The third was a hard line drive that he charged with outstretched arms; unfortunately, it flew between his hands and smacked his eye. Furious, he ran back to the dugout, grabbed the center fielder by the uniform, and shouted, "You idiot! You've got center field so messed up that even I can't do a thing with it!"
We need to lose the blaming "U"...and put on a garment marked "E." E stands for "examine" and "educate." When someone upsets us...offends us...disappoints us...we need to slow our reaction time down and, instead, respond by thoughtfully examining the situation. "Was that really a personal remark aimed at me? Or am I over-reacting?" "Did he or she really mean that...or were they just not thinking...did they simply make an embarrassing, human mistake?" Just to clear the air right now, I'd like to have everyone who has never accidentally insulted, offended, or hurt someone's feelings to just stand up...O.K. just raise your hand...clear your throat? Mmmm...imagine that. We've all been there, haven't we?
Now, don't misunderstand me. I'm not saying that we have to simply ignore every inappropriate behavior around us. Jesus certainly didn't. He dealt with true evil and wrong-doing head on. But what he did was not confront people...he carefronted people. And that's what we must do. If we have really examined the situation, rationally, fairly, and objectively, and we believe that there are issues to be dealt with, then let us educate one another. You may know why what you said cut me to the quick. If I explain it to you, then perhaps you can understand and learn for future reference. That's carefrontation...it helps by education. Confrontation doesn't educate...it escalates hard feelings. Anonymous notes are confrontational...face-to-face discussion is carefrontational. One-sided "venting" is confrontational. A two-way dialogue is carefrontational. Sending your message of hurt to someone through the grapevine...where it can grow and entangle lots of other people..is confrontational. A quiet resolve and firm explanation to the person directly involved is carefrontational. And yes, it's also a lot of work. Ask any teacher...education takes a lot of energy. But as followers of the "Master Teacher," it's the appropriate Christian response.
With our "underwear" H in place and our U replaced by an E, we now need to shed the garment R...for retribution...and replace it with L...for, you guessed it...Love. So often when we feel hurt, we want retribution...we want to even the score. God knows, in this age of "political correctness," there seem to be a lot of reasons to want to retaliate against something. But going through life with emotionally paper-thin skin--where everything around us seems to be an affront or a personal insult--leads to constant misery.
When I think of someone who knew that "getting even" wasn't the way to happiness, I can't help but think of the recent passing of Sonny Bono. Now Sonny was never one of my favorite people particularly. But his story was pretty interesting. Here was a guy who really couldn't sing...but was half of one of the most famous singing duos of all time. He couldn't act but he had a hit T.V. show. He was forever labeled as a sort of bumbling baffoon. Yet, he was successful, ultimately, in both business and politics. His greatest strength, according to those who knew him, was that, while he took issues seriously, he took himself very lightly. He could laugh at himself. He knew his reputation. He probably also felt, many times, that it wasn't very fair. But instead of trying to get back at someone for every trouble or failure or insult along the way, he learned to pick himself up and keep going. He didn't waste time trying to get even...because he probably knew...as long as you're trying to get even, you can never get ahead.
In verse 14 of this morning's reading Paul writes, "And above all these put on love, which binds everything together...." The original language here literally means to hold things in place...to keep things from flying apart. Love, in this sense, is not a feeling...it's a thing...it's an action that we choose. Love is not concerned with fairness. Love is concerned with unity among people. Life is not always fair...but we can always choose to put on a garment that helps make the way for peace. And peace you see, is the final garment we are trying to change into this morning.
P for peace must replace T for turmoil if we are to help instead of hurt. And if we are to be helped instead of spending our lives feeling always hurt. Some people live in constant turmoil. That turmoil comes from living focused on the world and its demands, its priorities, its opinions and its whims. St. Paul writes: "Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts...." Christ offers us peace for our tumultuous lives...but Christ also calls us to help bring peace to a world in turmoil. How can we give to the world something that we don't have? Each of us must learn to put on the garment of peace if ever the world can know peace.
Remember...hurting or helping...they both start here! When Christ was born, the angel declared to the frightened shepherds, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to people of good will." But the world has seen very few years of peace since Christ, our Sovereign of Peace, was born. I want to share with you a fable on peace that challenges me...and I hope it will challenge you, too.
A sparrow asked a wild dove, "Tell me the weight of a snowflake." The dove answered, "The weight of a snowflake? Why nothing more than nothing!" "In that case, I must tell you a marvelous story," the sparrow said. "I sat on the branch of a fir tree, close to its trunk, when it began to snow--not heavily, not in a raging blizzard--no, just like in a dream, without a sound, and without any violence. I counted the snowflakes as they settled on the twigs and needles of my branch. Their number was exactly 3,741,952. But when the 3,741,953 snowflake dropped onto the branch, weighing nothing more than nothing, as you say, the branch broke off." Having said that, the sparrow flew away. The dove, an authority on such matters since its ancestor carried the olive branch in Noah's time, thought about the story for awhile, and finally said to herself, "Perhaps only one person's voice is lacking for peace to come to the world."
Christ is the Savior of the world. But that salvation begins right here. The change from hurting to helping begins here. Pointing the finger at some outward "you"--blaming---must stop. Instead we must be willing to do the work of examining ourselves and one another to gain understanding and then help educate others to understand themselves and us. Seeking retribution must be replaced by a purposeful, willful love. Only then can inner, and outer, turmoil turn to peace. You see, it's the spiritual, relational garments we choose to wear that will make the difference in our experience of the world...and that will make the world's experience of Christ truly possible. Amen.
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