MCC St. Louis - Check Us Out!
Get your own, Free HomepageLast week, we considered the need to show the world an example of perseverance. But this week, I want us to build on the idea of keeping on keeping on...and take a look at what kind of attitudes and behaviors we exemplify while we're persevering in life. Just continuing to show up everyday doesn't necessarily teach anything to the world. Showing our faith to the world includes being mindful of how we come across to people if we're going to say that we're Christians.
Last week I got out of my car to go into a drugstore when I heard a man's voice yelling and yelling...not yelling for help, but yelling in anger...lecturing and chastising. I glanced at the car next to me and saw him: red-faced, finger-pointing at a woman who was staring straight ahead, with her arms folded and her mouth set firmly against clenched teeth. The sight and sound made me uncomfortable and I kept walking, but as I passed by the back of their car, I noticed, mounted up on the back of the trunk, one of those little metal "Jesus fish" symbols; it's called an "ichthys" and it's supposed to be a symbol for Jesus...something that a Christian would have on their car. I couldn't help thinking that the angry voice emanating from the car made a much louder statement than the "Jesus fish" stuck on it did!
The truth is, though, that before I...or any of us...put on our little judgment caps, we'd better take a good look at ourselves. Last Saturday, Lorraine and I got home from a very quick trip to Florida. We had gone down for the memorial service for our Godchild, Courtney, who had died the week before. It was a difficult trip for us...and a tough time for everyone there. I had, some time ago, volunteered to officiate the Memorial Service...and so I undertook the challenge of standing up and speaking, praying and guiding the grief work of all these people I knew but no longer live among. it took a lot out of me, but I did it and I thought things went as well as they could have and we flew home on Saturday, feeling exhausted and a bit numb. But through it all I had maintained pretty well. That is, until I sat down on the bed, picked up the remote control and hit the power button. The cable was out.
Now...intellectually, I can compare the importance of the death of an infant with the loss of cable TV...and I'm pretty clear on the priorities. But emotionally...I had handled Courtney's death calmly and courageously. But at the thought of being separated from "Nick at Night"--I went to pieces!
Suddenly all the anger I had suppressed as part of my grieving process came flying out in the direction of the cable company. I picked up the phone and dialed that number. (Notice how we think if we hit the numbers really hard, they'll understand how mad we are?!) A voice came on: "Thank you for calling the Cable Company. For billing assistance, press 1. To schedule hook-up of service, press 2. Blah, blah, blah...I stood there, panting, waiting for the number I wanted...although there's not usually a number to press for "I am inappropriately directing my grief, " so I settled for the poor "customer service" person. She answered, "How may I help you?" "Uh, my cable's out!" "Your telephone number please." "(Heavy sigh!) 555-whatever, whatever" She confirmed the address and then said, "I can have a service person there on Tuesday." "Well, what's wrong with it." ('Cos you just know they're sitting there in front of a big board with on/off switches on it...ready to play "cable God" with your TV!) "Ma'm, I don't know. We can have a service person there on Tuesday." "Oh, that's great! And what are you supposed to do if you work?" I mean I know I'm blessed to be able to have some flexibility with my work schedule...but, hey, they don't know that! And so on this went, her trying to be polite, me giving attitude for all I'm worth. "Well, jeez, let me look at my calendar ('cos I am sooo important, you stupid cable person!)...oh, OK, how about Wednesday? Now that's Veteran's Day...you will be working that day?" (I wouldn't be, of course, but they certainly should be!) "Yes, ma'm." So...I have cable again...and, while I must admit, since reruns of "Friends" & "Seinfeld" come on channel 11, I don't really watch "Nick at Night" much anymore, But, hey...it's the principle of the thing!!
I have to tell you, though...after I hung up the phone, I felt like a real jerk. What good was it yelling at that poor woman? She had no way of knowing that my real anger came from losing a little girl who never go to walk around in the little hiking boots we bought for her last Christmas. She only knew I was another person yelling at her...when she was just trying to do her job. Then I really felt bad for having poured all that meanness out into the world. Suppose she had had a lot of goofballs like me that day? Suppose I provided the proverbially last straw...and so, when she got home from work, and her little girl, who maybe is walking around in cute little hiking boots, came to her for a hug, she got her mother's frustrations inappropriately dumped on her, too.
Now, I know I can't beat myself up for all that. I'm human. I didn't intend to do harm. I just forgot myself for a moment and failed to keep my faith at the forefront of my behavior. But I can't let myself completely off the hook from that, either. Every bit of meanness, rudeness, impatience that gets put out into the world helps create a meaner, ruder, more impatient world for everyone...even though we don't want to personally accept that. I read a great quote the other day: "Every snowflake in an avalanche pleads innocent." We all--especially us, as Christians--have a responsibility to not contribute to the negativity and pettiness around us.
We need to make a constant effort to show the world a "bigness of spirit" that rises above the petty...the spiteful...the shallow...the mean. We need to show that we can "rise above" getting bent out of shape over things that don't matter. If we can, then there's a chance that the world can learn to do that, too. The world is looking at us Christians, saying, "please...show me your bigness of spirit."
In our Lesson reading this morning, (I Peter 1:22-23;2:1-2) we were told, "...love one another constantly, from the heart. Your rebirth (that is, our renewal in spirit through Christ) has come not from a perishable seed but from an imperishable one--the living and enduring word of God." As Christians, we should know the difference between eternal, important matters and the limited, meaningless distractions around us. Therefore, Scripture says, "never be spiteful, deceitful, hypocritical, envious or critical of each other." We have the strength and the truth of the Spirit of God within us...let us not get caught up in and drug down by the petty, the insignificant, the meaningless, silly distractions of life. Life is short and precious...we waste it when we focus on the wrong things.
Wednesday morning, (while I waited on the cable guy) I watched the "Today" show (it was blurry but I could see it). Katie Couric was interviewing Joan Rivers. Now Joan Rivers, we all know, it usually quick and cutting, sarcastic and funny. (Let's face it, in our community, those skills are accepted and encouraged! You know it...I know it. Why, most gay folks would tell you that you should always count to ten when you're angry...because it'll give you more time to come up with the right insult!) But anyway, on this morning, Joan Rivers was serious and tearful. She has published a book, written to her daughter on the occasion of Melissa's upcoming wedding and, in the book, Joan Rivers said she tries to say the things that Melissa's father might have said at this time. You may remember, several years ago, Rivers' husband committed suicide. And here was Katie Couric, whose husband died of colon cancer less than a year ago, interviewing her. When Joan looked at Katie and said, "I've tried to tell Melissa to enjoy every moment with her new husband, because you know, as i do, that life can turn on a dime. And tomorrow may never come." It was a heart wrenching moment...and so incredibly true!
Life is just too short and unpredictable for any of us to get caught up in pettiness or grudges or sit around nursing wounds that should have long since been allowed to heal. We all know the situation: Aunt Myrtle hasn't spoken to Cousin Hattie for 20 years because of something that got said one time about how somebody made their meatloaf. Come on...What a waste!
What's even worse is when supposed Christians get caught up in that kind of garbage. There's a man in another state who is a great singer. He has an outstanding tenor voice, but hasn't sung in church for many years. 23 years ago, he was active in his church's music program, sang in the choir, and was the church's main soloist. But then he went to a convention in New York, and there he discovered that some of the large churches in New York City pay their choir members. So when he returned home, he gave his church an ultimatum: "Pay me or I quit the choir!" The church declined his offer, and he quit. The choir felt his loss for a little while, but soon enough, others came along to take his place. You see, none of us is indispensable. Life rolls on.
That man has sulked for 23 years. He doesn't go to church much anymore, and when he does, he sits in the congregation with bitterness written all over his face. He's mad most of the time. He's cynical and critical...but people long ago stopped listening to him. Here is a man who has wasted his talent--and has wasted 23 years. Think of what he has missed while making himself miserable through pettiness! Life is too short for littleness, and pettiness is such a waste of time and talent and energy. We need to develop a bigness of spirit.
When our spirits are big, we can let the little, irrelevant things go. It's like the title of that wonderful book, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff...And It's All Small Stuff! Believe me, the world is hungry to learn how to live life with that kind of lightheartedness...that kind of generosity...that kind of forgiveness...that kind of peace. Someone sent me a greeting card that had a wonderful story on it which illustrates this point exactly. It's called, "The Wise Woman's Stone."
A wise woman who was traveling in the mountains found a precious stone in a steam. The next day, she met another traveler who was hungry, and the wise woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation.
The traveler left rejoicing in his good fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later, he came back to return the stone to the wise woman. "I've been thinking," he said. "I know how valuable this stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can give me something even more precious . Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me this stone."
The world is not changed when we are nice to those who are nice to us. The world is not influenced by generosity that is sure to be returned. The world learns nothing when it sees us loving those who love us back. Remember, Jesus said, "If you love those who love you, what credit does that do you? If you do good only to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? If you lend to those you expect to repay you, what credit does that do you? Love your enemies...lend without expecting repayment...be compassionate..." Have a bigness of spirit that can touch and change the world around you.
It won't always be easy. If you do good, some people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives. Do good anyway. Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable. Be honest and frank anyway. Being understanding and forgiving may set you up to be taken advantage of. Be understanding and forgiving anyway. What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight. Build anyway. The good you do today will most likely be forgotten tomorrow. Do good anyway.
Everyday...whatever pettiness or bitterness or meanness or cruelty tries to step in your path...rise above it...get over it...let it go...move on. Because, Christians, the world is watching, silently begging, "Show me your bigness of spirit...please!"
--Amen
Get your own, Free Homepage