Other Miscelaneous Stuff and Fun

One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.

"I am going to eat you for lunch", said the fox. "Wait", replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days." "Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"

"Well, I am just finishing my thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"

"Are you crazy? I should eat you right now! Everybody knows that a fox will always win over a rabbit."

"Not really, not according to my research. If you like, you can come into my hole and read it for yourself. If you are not convinced, you can go ahead and have me for lunch."

"You really are crazy!" But since the fox was curious and had nothing to lose, it went with the rabbit. The fox never came out.

A few days later the rabbit was again taking a break from writing and sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes and was ready to set upon her.

"Wait!" yelled the rabbit, "you can't eat me right now." "And why might that be, my furry appetizer?" "I am almost finished writing my thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"

The wolf laughed so hard that it almost lost its grip on the rabbit.

"Maybe I shouldn't eat you; you really are sick ... in the head. You might have something contagious." "Come and read it for yourself; you can eat me afterward if you disagree with my conclusions." So the wolf went down into the rabbit's hole ... and never came out.

The rabbit finished her thesis and was out celebrating in the local lettuce patch. Another rabbit came along and asked, "What's up? You seem very happy."

"Yup, I just finished my thesis."

"Congratulations. What's it about?" "'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"

"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right." "Oh yes. Come and read it for yourself."

So together they went down into the rabbit's hole. As they entered, the friend saw the typical graduate abode, albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis. The computer with the controversial work was in one corner.

And to the right there was a pile of fox bones, on the left a pile of wolf bones. And in the middle was a large, well-fed lion.

The moral of the story:
The title of your thesis doesn't matter.
The subject doesn't matter.
The research doesn't matter.
All that matters is who your advisor is

This is not an inclusive list. Unfortunately, other equally creative poems were not submitted for publication.

From Table 4

To plagiarize or not to plagiarize, that is the question Friends, Romans, Countrymen, lend me your earrings... For I tell you a tale of daring and sagacity That took place right here, in our faculty. Imagine a room up, up in the sky It's opposite a lab, but don't ask me why. Now! Hear a cry from that room in the sky. It's Bety! And her bugs have gone awry. There's a leak in the tank And they're not on the bank, but flowing down, down, down Into the office of a man who can stop up Graduating finally in June. On hearing said cry from that room in the sky Our heroes jump into action... Jamie, the dedicated rower he is Moved swiftly to rescue the chair. Kareem on his cell is, oh, so quick And says, "Jamie, you've rescued A chair!" Alas it was so. As reward for their diligence... And lack of intelligence... They'll be here, hosting next year's show!                             (Robin et. al.)

From Table 7

At McGill there dwelt a TA named Shy Who would tear and his hair crying, "Oh, dear God, why Did you have to assign me to dimbulbs and dolts Who can't the the difference between beams and bolts? Can't they understand that their idiocy Could mean the end of my sanity?" For example, in Advanced Materials Class, Shy TA'ed a group that had smoked too much grass. High strength concrete they tried to make A feat no harder than baking a cake In went the ingredients one by one Until they thought that they were all done. Then up they went to their TA to ask why Their concrete did seem so awfully dry And why the compressive strength seemed so low That it could crumbled with just one blow. So up went Shy to take a look And soon with disgust his head he shook For they had forgotten one small element That good ol' reliable...Portland cement! We shudder to think where they might be today We hope in some universe far, far away. Yes, TA'ing is fun, as Shy can attest But please, let those students give us some rest!!!                             (Shy, Marie-Chantal, Julie,                             Rana, Cathy and Kat)

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Last Modified: September 29, 2003