Subordination
The structure of the sentence affects its unity, or focus. How can these sentences be improved?
(1) The night watchman walked past the building at 9:20, noticing that the door was unlocked (H,88).
(2) Ruth Benedict is the author of Patterns of Culture, in which she praises the Zuni Indians for their ceremonial life and its cooperative attitude toward the natural world (H,88).
(3) We might have lost the Revolutionary War if France had not come to our aid (W,115).
(4) Grant allowed corruption to enter his administration, not being a strong president (W,115).
(5) In the 1920's too many people bought stocks on margin. The stock market collapsed in October 1929, as a result (W,115).
(6) President Truman was wise to implement the Marshall Plan, in my opinion (W,115). 187