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My first review is a tribute to the dearly departed Loveswept series. Loveswept featured consistently good writing. I don't remember a single "couldn't finish it" among them. Of course this could just be nostalgia talking.     I usually don't like sheik heroes for the same reason I usually don't like Greek heroes They can be chauvanistic to the point of mysogeny. I can't see why the heroine doesn't crack him upside the head with a clue-by-four, much less fall in love with the creep. Notice I said "usually".   Philip El Kabbar is the sheik and absolute ruler of all throughout his desert lands. Ruler of all except Pandora. Raised under Philip's protection and all but ignored by her cold and distant archeologist father, Pandora skips town at sixteen. She is in love with Philip of course, but realizes that his attitude towards women will leave her worse than heartbroken. So she runs off to become a pop star. Yes, I said a pop star.   How does one become a pop sensation and yet remain hidden from a rich and powerful sheik?  I dunno, but Pandora manages to do just that. When she's good and ready and ovulating she summons Philip. Pandora has spent the last six years creating an image of a "bad woman" for herself. After all, Philip will only sleep with the bad ones.   Her ruse works. Philip can't wait to jump into her pants and now Pandora has until her next period is due to convince Philip that he really does love her the way she wants to be loved.   That's the set up. Now let me try to explain why this is one of my all time favorite romances despite the sheik hero and undeniably contrived set up. It's because Iris Johansen must have pumped her own blood into these two characters. The emotions run high in this story, but they run true. The sexual tension is so thick you can make a coat out of it and keep yourself warm all winter. I'm still waiting to read a scene that has as good an emotional payoff as the one in which Pandora wears her pop-star glitter wig to a formal dinner at Philip's desert castle.   I loved And The Desert Blooms because Ms. Johansen has the skill to turn a sheik and a pop-star into real people whom I care about.

I'm wondering if Shannon Short, reviewer at Romantic Times, is a close personal friend of Katherine Garbera. Or perhaps Ms. Garbera slipped a couple of hundreds into Ms. Short's review copy of this book. It's the only way to explain why Ms. Short gave this book 4 1/2 gold stars, a Top Pick and a Gold Medal. I couldn't finish it. I got to page 50 before I finally couldn't take any more.   I can forgive schizo characterizations if the story is funny. I can turn a blind eye to plotlessness if the characters are appealing. I can slog through rushed, careless writing if the premise is engaging. I could not finish this book.   Let me take you through the sequence of events that saw me tosing this book down in disgust:  After telling himself for the 50th time in as many pages that he would not going to get involved with her, Duke Merchon follows Cami Jones into the elevator at work and asks her to read from the book she's carrying. Why? Because there were about 240 more pages to go, that's why. Cami opens the book to where she left off reading and is surprised to find that it is a steamy love scene. Why was she surprised? Did'nt she remember what part she was up to?   Too embarrassed to read it herself, she hands over the book for Duke to read. Which he does. To himself. Are we, the reader, given any in inkling as to what is in this scintillating passage? Nope, we are not. But whatever is in there is sure a doozy of a love scene because when the elevator stops and the lights go out (What, doesn't this happen everytime you step into an elevator?) Duke grabs the woman he has vowed over and over (and over and over and over) again not to get involved with and kisses her. He feels, and I quote, ". . .an emotion that scared him. More than lust or desire but affection." The lights turn back on (What, doesn't this happen every time you step in an elevator and the lights go out and the guy who's reading the book you don't even remember reading kisses you?), the elevator doors open and Duke, overwhelmed by his soul wrenching feelings of "affection" walks out.   Cami is devastated. I mean really, really devastated. So devastated in fact that she stays in the apparently defective elevator. Wanna know why she's so devastated? Here, let me show in in the author's own words: "Time flashed in her mind. [huh?] She was once again a teenager watching the most popular boy in school tease her with smiles and flirting before callously humiliating her by making her the butt of his jokes." So there you have it. The reason why Cami is now convinced that Duke could never want her. Because as we all know, grabbing someone and kissing them is a sure sign of disinterest.   Did I mention how devastated Cami is over this kiss? She's so devastated that she walks into her office and falls into a heap on the floor. But she won't cry, she tells herself, because crying would be wimpy And there Cami remains, a heap on the floor, devastated but not crying-- because the guy she likes kissed her. At five she wanders in a daze to her car which she can't find because she is so distraught.   Where she again runs into Duke. He has just finished telling himself for the 51st or 52nd time (I dunno, I lost count) that he would never defile Cami with his wanton feelings of affection. So of course he comes up behind her and grabs her arm. So that he could tell her: "You may not be the right girl, but your still tempting the hell out of me. And don't you forget it."   That was the last awful cliché in 50 pages of nonstop awful clichés and pointless contradictions. Cami is described as a quiet girl who actually enjoys being in the background unobserved yet she dresses in large, baggy eyecatchingly multi-hued suits. Still we should not doubt that Cami is a quiet mousy-type person. She used to be a librarian after all.   Duke is nothing but a bunch of clichés masquerading as a character. He was an orphan, see, and he still walks around with his dead wife's wedding ring in his pocket at all times because he feel guilty, you understand. He's a deep and tormented man. Yea, whatever.   We're all used to clichés in romance novels. They can even enhance the reading experience when a skilled writer uses them to her advantage. This book read like a first draft, however. Shannon Short owes me $3.99 plus tax.

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