Products

The Product Line

Here it is folks, the Mecha Gazoo Inc. product line.

	Canned Idiot The only way to seem smart in today's world is relatively simple. Hang out with people who are stupider than you are! That's why Mecha Gazoo Inc. proudly presents Canned Idiot! Just open up a can of it, add water, and watch as your idiot grows and develops! Then simply walk around with it. You'll be amazed at how much smarter you seem to other people. The special can gaurentees freshness upon delivery, so ORDER TODAY!!! © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.
	The Bar of Common Sense Is it one of those days when everyone around you is senile? Since you can't strangle them w/o legal repercussions, I'd suggest the Bar of Common Sense! It's gaurenteed to spread a little sense anywhere you take it. These handcrafted 24" lead bars are simply packed with common sense, and all you have to do is spread it around by smacking your idiot, bungee jumping, glue sniffing friends upside their heads. Fashionable? Of course they are! And if you don't like lead, the Bar of Common Sense is now available in copper, iron, and even (brace yourself) steel... Also available for those of you who hate metallic "thuds," the new "Natural Bar of Commen Sense" is now available (Comes only in bamboo). Only 10.99 plus shipping and handling. ORDER TODAY! (Illegal in certain states and Mexico. Special Taxes applied for Canada) © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.
	The Chihuahua Cannon Nothing strikes fear into the hearts of men like that ominous yipping in the distance. They know that riding on the wings of death are a bunch of ankle-biting dogs, ready to unleash all Heck upon them. They can try to run, but to no avail. The Chihuahua Cannon is here, and it can be yours for the sum of $399.95. Better get one before they do... © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.
	The Stick Of Not Quite Jello But Largly Buffalo Some sticks are for poking. Some are rather unusual in a manner where they have a barrel and fire harmless teensy pebbles into a person whereas they die or become mortally wounded thus dying and or pleeing for help uncontainably "Oh please save me from this retched pebble that is stuck in my toe because it give sensation of a gnat gnawing my skin." This stick does nothing... Nothing BUT aiding in the collection of snails! That's right The Stick That Has A Very Long And Peculiar Name With A Nasty Bit Of Mustard On It ALSO comes with the ability to destroy mass thus destroying the universe in an utterfly conceivable fashion. You see, each Stick That Has A Very... oh what the hell, the stick is made of lkgflsakdjfkjfaskljfsalkjf protons which inturn arouse the mcndaskladsfkjafiol electrons thus making hamburgers for all to eat and drink. So there you have it! Your dream come true has been granted because The Stick Which Still Annoys Me Because I Am Unable To Finish Its Name And Thus Will Finish The Name And The Statement At The Same Time And/Or Joining Brahman... UHHHHHHHHURGHhhh! We apologize for the incident, the typer of this item has been sacked and will soon join the great cheese in the sky In conclusion, there is no conclusion. $337.95 taxes do apply, and shipping in handling is a hidden cost of $2,747,965,652,944.02 for ALL! An IamHEATHENman creation © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.
	Ecstacy Butterflies Has your house been too quiet lately? Your dog stopped barking and even the sound of a drunken squirrel doesn't excite you? Then how about a nice Ecstacy filled butterfly! If the cluttering of wings only heard by a cat isn't great, then watch it crash into a window! Oh the fun never ends! Not only that, but this specimen also squeaks and responds to the word "Gong!" Or if you're feeling risque, say the word bong and he will go hyperthermic and start to scream the uncontrollable "EEHEEHEEHEEHEE!" So order today and you'll get your ecstacy butterfly with immunity to the "Bar of Common Sense!" That's right, even the Great Gazoo cannot stop the fever of a butterfly muttering "The termites are following me, must find the shotgun, WAHHOOHOOHOOIE!" Order in the next 5 milliseconds and you get your butterfly for seventeen easy installments of a woodpecker. An IamHEATHENman creation © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.
	The Ladel of Certain and Utter Injustice This ones pretty self-explanitory. Smack unsuspecting victims upside their ugly heads as often as you like. You'll never have to fear repurcussions, and if you get told on, no one will care. Fun for all ages, keep out of the reach of idiots. Do not mix with Bar of Common Sense $20.99 plus shipping and handling. No CODs. We don't except Visa. A Maverick Creation © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.
	The Cochroach Feeder YE GODS!!! Your little sibling had the audacity to step on the head of your pet cochroach, and the doctor had to amputate it. Congratulations, your roach has one week to live before it starves to death... or does it? Using the latest in nanotech and life support, Mecha Gazoo Inc. proudly presents: The Cochroach Feeder. Just slip the tiny tube into the esophogus at meal times to keep your roach alive for the full two years a roach is expected to live. $35.00 plus S&H. For the last freakin' time, we DON'T ACCEPT VISA!!! A Lil' Asian Girl creation. © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.
	The Cursed Skull of Doom!!! This excellent little device is used to, you guessed it: Freak people out with incantations and such. Or if you really are a voodoo witch person, they work for that too. Do not use to turn people into newts(they get better). $.20 A Maverick Creation. © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.
	The Levitating Paperweight Not only has extreme idiocy been achieved, but it has been eaten by Kirby (who presently is having liposuction). Presenting the Levitating Paperweight, an invention that will soon have you murdering your ant-eater, or, if you're an idiot, hosting a picture of an acidic Jew on your web page *cough cough spoonentertainment.com. The Levitating Paperweight comes in three sizes, (count 'em!), three sizes! "Count them? Well alright, One.. Two.. Three. Three sizes." How many licks does it take to get to center of a tootsie-pop? The Levitating Paperweight because I am in a tree with an ant-eater discussing the meaning of life which happens to be the levitating paperweight. If only my badger would buy the levitating paperweight seeing as sales are down; and Mecha Gazoo Inc. lost $10,000,000,000,000 in stock value; and I am currently living in Russia to hide from the FBI because of ten alleged counts of business fraud; and an old woman stole $50,000 from me when she held me up with an umbrella; and The Levitating Paperweight comes in three sizes. ... ... ... YES! Three sizes, you heard me right! Size one (large): the size of an atom. Size two (Medium): The size of a badger. Size three (Small): The size of a freedom fry. (IamHEATHENman shoots himself due to feelings of stupidity towards government). The Levitating Paperweight has been discontinued, but may still be found at eBay.com. A product by Treason. Reveiw by IamHEATHENman. © 2002 Mecha Gazoo Inc.