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Chapter 4: How To Use Communication And Humor To Attract Women
Now that we've
covered some of the 'inner' game, I'd like to share
with you some of the things that I've learned about the 'outer' game.
In later chapters, I'm going to teach you the specifics of exactly what
to say and do in different situations, but here I'd like to teach you
some basics about communication that I think will really help you get
the right frame of mind.
How
Women Test Men And Why
In my opinion, most
women, and especially the 'hotties' have gone
through a learning curve here in our western culture that has, on
average, given them a sort of ‘predictable psychological makeup.’
Now, there are differences between these women… some are smart,
some are not… some are tall, some are short… some are cerebral,
some are physical… etc. etc. etc… but there are things that most of
them have in common. I’ve made a study of these things… because
this is what interests me.
At some point in their lives, hotties began to be treated differently
because they were attractive. I mentioned the social psychology
concept earlier called ‘The Halo Effect.’ Simply stated, attractive people
are assumed to be smarter, more honest, more trustworthy etc. than
others. The fact that people do whatever the hottie wants begins to
blur their sense of reality, and makes them believe that they can just
have whatever they want whenever they want it… AND THAT’S JUST
THE WAY LIFE IS. (This applies in general)
You’ll notice that many super hotties will throw tantrums if they
don’t like what’s going on or not getting their way… this is a sure sign
that they are not living in the same reality as most people… when they
don’t get what they want, they get upset because this has worked
since they were little…
Now, on a subconscious level, I’ve noticed that most hot women
realize that they are being ridiculous when they act like bitches, throw
tantrums, etc. but it doesn’t really matter because it still WORKS for
them when they want what they want… are you with me?
Underneath all of this, they are still FEMALE and they are looking
for what other females are looking for…
What are women looking for?
Well, for the record, I have no idea. After 30 years of studying
people, Freud said that there was one question that he didn’t have the
answer to… “What do women want?” Nice.
BUT, here’s my take on it: First and foremost, they want a man
that is in CONTROL (Of the situation, himself, his emotions, other
people, her… control of the entire reality that they share).
Let me ask you, if you were a woman that wanted to test a man to
see if he will stay in control, how would you do it? Would you ask the
man “If I get out of hand, will you spank me and put me in my place?”
NO WAY!!!
So they test us by CHALLENGING to see if we’ll stay in control. The
reason I do all of this “Never give a woman a direct answer… unless
it’s NO… Never give a woman exactly what she wants…” etc. is,
ironically, to give her what she REALLY wants… a man that’s in control.
Women want a challenge. Think romance novel themes… if you
don’t know what I’m talking about, sit yourself down for a week and
read Dangerous Men, Adventurous Women… How to Succeed With
Women By Being A Jerk… Endless Rapture… and Bad Boys… and think
about it.
Most of the time, I’m enjoying myself, talking about whatever
comes up, making jokes, and generally behaving like a normal person.
But, like anything else, if these techniques are used too much, they
become worthless… so they must be used with precision and at the
right moments.
What’s interesting is that because I usually (but not always) do
these teasing and seemingly controlling things with a bit of a dry
humor spin, I believe that the woman that I’m with has an internal
response like “Wow, this guy is cocky, but I can’t tell if he’s serious or
not… and I want to find out… but either way, he’s funny and he’s
staying interested in me, and not being flagrantly abusive… so he must
be interested at SOME level…”
The key is to WATCH FOR THE TESTS and be ready when they
come.
Most guys screw up when a woman acts bratty… when a woman
gets upset, they say “Oh, I’m sorry” and mess it up. Or they act
nervous, etc. You have to stay in control… if a woman starts getting
angry, instead of getting nervous, say “Oh, poor baby is throwing a
tantrum… so what, you’ve been doing this same thing since you were
2 and you didn’t get your way.”
SPANK!
Another realization that I’ve come to is that most women are
totally intrigued by men that seem uninterested and crass… it’s almost
like they say to themselves “Wow, this guy seems kind of cocky… and
I can’t believe that he’s not interested in having sex with me like all
the other dumb pussies that I meet… He’s funny and smart… I wonder
if I can get him interested in me… and when I do, I’ll just dump him
like the other losers… but this might be fun…”
Get it?
But if you are going to act this way, you have to keep it up until
the end… and I mean to the end.
I'm going to address the ‘treating women well’ issue again.
I treat women very well… they always tell me that they’ve never
met a man that treated them so well, etc.
How can this be when I seem like such a ball buster?
Well, it’s simple really… I do nice things for them ON MY OWN
TERMS. I will surprise them with a thoughtful email, or a card… or I
might give them a nice massage… I open doors and walk on the
outside of the curb… like I said in my original email, I treat women
very well. But part of most women’s romantic fantasy (in my opinion)
is taking control of the situation and doing things on MY terms. Try it
for yourself… next time you’re going to meet a woman, tell her what to
wear… choose the food and tell her to trust you… if she asks for a kiss,
say “No”… but kiss her later when YOU feel like it… if you know that
she likes chocolate, and she asks for some… don’t give it to her… but
surprise her with some next time you see her… get it?
Here are a couple of rules of thumb that I use:
1. Never give a
woman a direct answer… unless the answer is NO. This
is a big one. If she says ‘Can we sit here?” I say “No, let’s sit in this
one next to it” or if she says “How do you like my dress?” I say
“Well, I think that I like it… just give me a few minutes to see it on
you” or if she says “Call me tomorrow” I say “No. You call me
tomorrow… cummon, you want me and you know it” Get it?
2. If she complains
about you or doesn’t like something, turn it up a
notch and do it more. If she says to me “I don’t really like it when
you say that” I say “Well then you might want to leave, because I
say it a lot” Get it?
3. Women are
CONSTANTLY testing to see if they can get you to
comply with them, and as soon as you do, they hit the road (or
marry you). This took me years to see and understand, but the fact
is that when you’re dealing with a powerful, hot woman, she will do
all different kinds of things that make no sense at all logically, but
all the sense in the world when you understand her mindset. Hot
women can have anything they want. What they want is a
challenge… something that keeps their interest. Here it comes… If a
woman can have anything she wants anytime she wants it, then
WHY THE HELL DO GUYS THINK THAT THEY’RE GOING TO BE
INTERESTING BY DOING THE SAME THING THAT EVERY OTHER
GUY HAS DONE? Duh. Hey, I used to think this way… but then I got
a clue. Now, I pay very careful attention, and never let her have
what she wants. If she says “Kiss me” I say “No” if she says come
over to my house I say “I’m busy right now, I’ll come over later” if
she says “I want you so bad, please make love to me” I say “Well, I
think that you need to wait a little longer, and besides, I’m not
finished kissing you” Get it? I NEVER give a woman exactly what
she asks for… EVER!
4. Always send
mixed signals. Tell her I want to be friends, and kiss
her. Tell her that what she just did was unacceptable, then go kiss
her. Spank her if she does something nice. Also, respond differently
to the same thing. For example, one time if she comes over and sits
on my lap, I kiss her. Another time I push her off… get it? Never be
predictable… NEVER.
For the record,
when I say "always" and "never" I don't really
mean "ALWAYS 100% WITHOUT EXCEPTION EVER." I mean do these
as much as you possibly can, because you really can't overdo any of
them as long as you stay cocky and funny while you're doing them.
The test is always "Is she laughing, smiling, having fun most of the
time?" If so, you can't overdo these four rules.
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