The words "Pick-Up Artist", "Getting picked up", "A quick pick-up", etc all have a NEGATIVE stigma attached to them. The implication is that they’re something sneaky or dishonest about approaching women with the intention of meeting them, and that any man that does this is obviously a sleaze ball. The word "seduction" also has a negative connotation as well, somewhat along the lines of "conning" a woman into sleeping with you. Lastly, there’s the word "Player", denoting a man who plays games with women’s hearts to get them into bed.

Before you do anything else, you MUST remove from your mind any negative stigmas attached to these concepts. These stigmas are total bullshit, stuff left over from more prudish times when women were chaste and men were seen as being up to no good, trying to "deflower" the poor, poor, victim/woman.

Let’s be clear here: Although the word "pick-up artist/PUA" or "picking up" is used throughout this guide, to "pick up" someone, is to MEET them. People have been meeting their mates in one way or another since the human race began. In almost all cases it involved one or both of the parties sticking their neck out to meet and form a connection. Now of course, there are exceptions. It’s nice that your uncle met his wife because they sat together in a college class, or that a beautiful woman accidentally spilled coffee on your friend and they’re now happily married, but this is rare. Out of all the women on the planet, what do you think the REAL chances are that you’ll meet your perfect mate completely by chance? Not good at all (although Hollywood movies and Oprah will have you believe otherwise).

In fact, the "pick-up artist" deserves MORE respect than someone who "stumbled onto his wife". The pick-up artist, the one relentlessly and fearlessly approaching women, meeting a LOT of people and forming a LOT of connections, is actively making an effort at finding the right woman for him (or at least building a skill-set so that he knows what to do when he finds her). He’s grabbing his cojones and going out on the hunt. In caveman times this guy would be the one dragging a buffalo home for supper every night, while the rest would wait for an old buffalo to fall over dead at their feet.

The word "seduction" also has a negative stigma, most likely because of the outdated beliefs in feminine chastity. The truth is that women WANT to be seduced. It’s up to the man to take the lead, and up to the woman to playfully resist and throw up obstacles, and give in if the man is successful in demonstrating his value to her. It’s part of courtship, and always will be.

As for the word "player", granted there are men out there who "play" women, as in con them into bed through lies and false promises. But just as fish have their mating dances, peacocks have their displays, and elk have their masculine posturing, humans have their own courtship rituals. The slang for these rituals is "The Game", and everyone out to meet a mate is technically a "player" in the game. Women play games all the time, but it’s not malicious—they’re just playing their part in that courtship ritual. We men need to play the game too, and this doesn’t necessarily involve breaking a woman’s heart or tricking her. It just means playing our role in the courtship ritual with our own techniques and knowledge of the rules.

As with any social situation, it all comes down to this: Be fair in your dealings with people, and you’ll be beyond reproach. Don’t let a silly label make you feel guilty.

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