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RAPPORT After opening, attracting, and qualifying the girl, the next step is to develop RAPPORT with her. Rapport is a sense of connection and understanding with another person. This connection comes from a bond of commonality. In other words, when people are like each other, they tend to LIKE each other. Developing rapport in a pick-up or seduction is important. If all you do is just attract and qualify a woman, she’ll like you, but she won’t feel a connection to you. As soon as you’re not around she’ll go out of state and the effect you created will drop back to zero. If you want a LASTING connection, or enough of one that she remembers you when you call, you need to develop some rapport. You want the woman to be thinking "He’s just like me" or "We have so much in common" or "He understands me". Also, rapport builds COMFORT. Comfort is essential to getting a woman to give you her phone number, a kiss, or a wild night of furniture-destroying sex. A woman generally needs to feel comfortable with you (at different levels of course) before she’ll do any of these things. Guys who have trouble getting women are usually very good at building rapport, but not very good at generating attraction. "Nice guys" and their rapport-building expertise are good at instilling COMFORT in a woman, and that’s why she views them as "just friends". They’re all comfort, no attraction. In basic terms: All rapport + no attraction gets you slotted in the "friends" category. All attraction + no rapport gets you slotted in the "lover" or "one-night stand" category (IF the woman even has that category at all; she may NEED rapport before having sex). Or if you’re in a bar or club she may just see her being into you as a "club thing". A combination of both attraction + rapport has the woman seeing you as a potential boyfriend, which gives you more power and more options on where you want to take things. Therefore I personally recommend that guys build at least a small level of rapport with a woman they’re interested in—after attracting her. NOTE: Whatever technique you use to establish rapport with a woman, it must be SINCERE. Don’t try to bullshit a woman into feeling rapport with you, because she’ll be likely to pick up that you’re insincere. You must have SOME sort of belief in what you’re saying. Don’t say "Hey I love country music too!" if listening to it makes you homicidal; just dig further and look for something else to connect on! When do you move into the Rapport phase? When she starts asking rapport-seeking questions about you, like "What do you do?" "What kind of music do you like?" etc. When you start to hear these questions, don’t go directly into rapport-building just yet. Wait a bit! If you go right into it you give her what she wants and reduce the challenge. If she asks you what you do for example, stall for a bit with C&F: "I’m an ass model." Her: Be serious! "Okay, I work in the slave trade business, you know, import/export." Her: Tell me! "Ok, ok, you’ve been through enough teasing…for now. I work in (insert real job here)." With certain techniques like cold-reading and indirect compliments (described below), you don’t need to wait for her to take the initiative, and you can use these to start rapport building without her lead. (The Rapport phase is the exception to the rule that the man must always lead. If you lead in trying to establish rapport, it shows too much interest in her. Better that you wait until she attempts to build rapport with you instead, or use an indirect approach like cold reads or mirroring).
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