A totally helpless feeling was all I could feel
I was standing on the outside where everything was still.
I watched you grab your air pack and all your turnout gear
You blew me a kiss and then you disappeared.
As you walked into that big cloud of smoke...
I could feel that same lump forming in my throat.
It was just like the one I've always had before
When you grabbed your stuff and ran out the door.
I watched you stare into the eyes of the flame
But that look that you gave it just wasn't the same.
The sound of that fire was starting to sing
But you and the others were ready to fight that thing.
I heard a lady screaming that her baby was inside
She ran to her husband where she broke down and cried.
You and the others were so bound to find that child
I guess you didn't see that the flames were going wild.
The next thing I remember was a yell from in the house
Someone had found her baby and was trying to get out.
You came out the front door and there I saw you stand
Black as soot from head to toe...with a baby in your hands.
You put her in the blanket while everyone gathered around
You looked at her, smiled, and then you sank to the ground.
I ran to your weakened body and grasped it with fear
You had your fists clenched around your turnout gear.
I looked into your eyes and I could feel your pain
The beast that you loved had beat you at this game.
You said,"she has never lived and I think it is my time
For her to have a life, I will gladly give up mine."
You looked into the sky and said, "I've had a good life...
Remember-you're my greatest love, my beautiful wife"
The thoughts screamed like freight trains running through my mind
I tried to understand why now of all times.
For I was to be a mother in only six weeks
and as the tears strolled down my cheeks
You said, "Take care of our new little one.
There's nothing I'd rather do than hold our son.
Doesn't look like I'll be able to do that now, love...
But you can bet I'll be watching from up above.
I'll be right there when he learns to talk
and I'll hold his hand when he learns to walk.
You tell him about me and the times we've had
And tell him I'll always be the proudest dad.
Most of all tell him about the fireman's game.
You can try to beat the fire but it only takes a flame.
It's the beast in the blaze that kills, not the size.
I love you always, both of you" and then you closed your eyes.
The firemen stood around me and they all began to cry.
They gave a salute as their way of saying goodbye.
Sometimes late at night, I choose a different star
I wonder if you up there, yet I know that you are.
When I look very closely, I can see you there
You're in heaven with your helmet...
in the fireman's chair.

-Anonymous

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