stephjournal4

The promised improvements in the second year hardly seemed noticeable. By this time both of our children were very active, and I found Michael's absence very difficult to accept. I knew that it wasn't his fault, yet I yearned for the familiy life that I had dreamed of...that I had felt that we were establishing before coming to the US. Instead, I couldn't help feeling that we were growing apart. Second year did bring with it two outpatient months with no call, which was great. It was very difficult to go back to q3 or q4 after not being on call for a whole month.

Financially, things were looking pretty bleak. I was taking out a small amount of financial aid, but we were paying for our moves on credit cards. We had gone into significant debt his first year in Germany with the salary so low and we were beginning to feel "squeezed". Michael was denied moonlighting opportunities because of his foreign medical grad status despite his good board scores because in the state of PA, foreign medical grads were denied extra money making opportunities. It was a tough year and we struggled financially and emotionally to get through. Michael's parents came to visit us that year and upon returning home, his father lost one of his legs to the disease. For him, the fact that he was unable to be there for his family was difficult to accept. He dealt with his grief by burying himself in his work. The hours were still long, though it was indeed better than internship year. By the end of the second year I had setteld in in the small community. Through my courses at the college, I had met other moms and was feeling more at home.

Things did begin to look up.