Self Help
Am I ready to stop yet?

Deciding to stop Self Injury is a decision only you alone can make. People around you may tell you to stop but you have to be ready yourself until you can make that decision.
Alderman (1997) suggests that you look over the following points and see how many you can honestly answer "yes", the more you can answer "yes", the easier it makes it for you to stop Self-Injuring.

  • I have a solid emotional support system of friends, family, and/or professionals that I can use if I feel like hurting myself.
  • I feel at least somewhat comfortable talking about Self Injury with 3 different people.
  • There are at least 2 people in my life that I can call if I want to hurt myself.
  • I have a list of at least 10 things I can do instead of hurting myself.
  • I have a place to go if I need to leave my house so as not to hurt myself.
  • I feel confident tht I could get rid of all the things that I might be likely to use to hurt myself.
  • I have told at least 2 other people that I am going to stop hurting myself.
  • I am willing to feel uncomfortable,scared, and frustrated.
  • I feel confident that I can endure thinking about hurting myself without having to actually do so.
  • I want to stop hurting myself.

    Feelings

    Going through a period of depression or SI fills yous with different feelings. You might recognise some of the following feelings-

  • Embarassed- In case people think you're weird.
  • Depressed- about anything getting better.
  • Afraid- that you might end up dead.
  • Helpless- You don't know what to do for the best.
  • Guilty- because you can't stop harming yourself, even if you want to.
  • Isolated- You don't know who to talk to.
  • Upset- You Can't keep your feelings in- or maybe you can't let them out.
  • Out of Control- You might not know why you hurt yourself and wonder if you'll ever stop.
  • Worried- In case people think you're just attention seeking.
  • Scared- Because you don't know why you do it...it's getting worse.

    Why do I do it?

    You might not know why you SI and becoming aware of how you feel and why can be scary. Look at the questions below and answer them honestly:

  • What was happening when I first began to feel like Self Injuring myself?
  • What trigger the urge to SI now?
  • Am I always at a certain place or with a paticular person when you SI?
  • Do I have frightening memories or thoughts and can I tell anyone about them?
  • Is there anything else that makes me want to hurt myself?

    It's all well saying that I can stop but how DO I stop? If you're in the middle of a crisis there are different strategies that are generally suggested. For instance:

  • Squeezing Ice for a minute
  • Taking a freezing cold bath or shower
  • Biting into something strong such as hot peppers, ginger root etc.
  • Rubbing menthol under your nose
  • Having Sex etc.
    these can help because they all trigger intense emotions which distract you from the thought of self-injurying and at the same time you're not actually physically hurting yourself. Don't think that these strategies are cures for SI, they are simply distractions. Every time they do stop you self injuring that's another "point" to you and the more times you can successfully resist temptation the more likely you are to stopping SI permanently.

    The first step to stopping SI is breaking the cycle and forcing yourself to find other ways of coping. This doesn't mean gently telling yourself you do have to physically force yourself. It will be a struggle, but maybe a worthwhile one at that.

    Things that might distract you till the urge to SI passes

  • Deep Breathing
  • Listening to Music
  • Play a game (personally I like Furious George)
  • Play an instrument, such as drums or the piano. If you can't play, don't worry about it. Concentrate on having fun instead of playing something perfect
  • Writing Poetry, Songs or in a Journal/Diary
  • Scratch a picture on a thick piece of wood or use a screw driver and stab at the wood
  • Cry- it may seem stupid, but letting out all of your emotions really can help.
  • Wear an Elastic Band around your wrist and snap it when you want to SI
  • Draw on your arm with red marker to replace the red cuts you'd normally make
  • Get a Henna Tatoo kit and use it- In the morning you can pick it off and it will leave a mark which resembles a bruise
  • Write a letter to the person/s that have hurt you and express how you feel. These letters do not have to be perfect and you don't even have to give them to the person/s but they will help you release feelings that you have trapped within
  • Call a Helpline or write to a Charity and talk to a counseller

    A list of other websites with extensive lists of distractions can be found in my Links section.

    Talking to Someone

    One of the best things to do when you're on your way to stopping SI is talking to someone. Whether it's someone you know or someone you don't know; face to face, by letter or by phone. Just telling someone, talking to someone, can help you in bigger ways than you can imagine.
    You can talk to nearly anyone if you feel you can trust them some examples are-

  • Brother/Sister
  • Mum/Dad
    Close Friend
  • Social Worker
  • Doctor
  • Counseller
  • Teacher/Professer
  • Aunt/Uncle/Cousion etc.
    -if you are 18 or under you could also talk to:
  • Teacher
  • Youth Worker
  • School Nurse
  • School Counseller (all schools & colleges do have one)
  • Friend's parent or Carer.
    the list goes on and on- the main thing is that you trust them.
    If you decided that you do want to talk to someone, try and answer the following questions:
  • Where and when would I tell them?
  • Will i tell them face to face, by letter or by phone?
  • What will I say?
  • How might they respond?
    One thing to remember, however depressing it may be- the first person you talk to might not react how you want them to. They might not be able to help you. if this is the case don't blame them- it might not be there fault and definately isn't your fault. Just Don't give up- try again.

    If you want to talk to talk to someone by phone there are many numbers you can call. If you live in the U.K you can call:

  • The Samaritans (24 hour, confidential helpline)-0345 90 90 90
  • Careline- (Mon-Fri- 10am-4pm and 7pm-10pm- confidential counselling) 020 8514 1177
  • Youth Access-(Mon-Fri 9:30am-5:30pm- can tell you where your nearest free advice/info. and counselling is available)- 020 8772 9900.
  • If you are a under 18 you can also call Childline (24 hour confidential helpline (totally free)-can get busy though-keep trying.) 0800 1111
    If you live in the U.S click here for Phone numbers which you might find helpful.

    If you want to talk to someone face to face there are many counselling services in and around the U.K and U.S. If you live in the U.K you can go on The Samaritans website and find your nearest centre where you can book an appointment to find someone to talk to.

    Help if you have a friend or relative who SI's

    Links
    - Links that you might find helpful and links I've found helpful.

    Addresses and Phone Numbers
    - Useful Addresses and Phone Numbers.

    Contact Me
    - Ways of contacting me.

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