Flotsam Jetsam #1

29 December '03

Hello my lovelies,

Starting this week, in an effort to write more as I promised myself, I'll be posting movie reviews, cd reviews, concert reviews, subway experiences, random thoughts and all kinds of flotsam and jetsam that wade through my mind, on a semi-regular basis. So do read if you're so inclined (or bored at work), and let me know what you think- or skip it alltogether...

THIS WEEK:

Three movies, maybe a cd or two. I would like to thank Liz, my invaluable assistant, for being my movie partner during this holiday weekend which would have been quite dull otherwise... (what do you call it when a Jew and a Turk walk into an Irish pub after a Japanese meal, meet a French guy reading a book at the bar and Israeli kids fresh out of military service out to see the world? Merry New York Christmas! what do you call another night when you get quite drunk but only get charged for the calamari? Merry New York post-Christmas Hey We Got Free Drinks Have a Good Time in Bangkok with Your Girl Cutie! etc.)

Ehm. Anyway. Here we go then.

***Barbarian Invasions*** by Denys Arcand

I first fell in love with an Arcand film years ago during the Istanbul Film Festival, April 1994. The film was called Jesus of Montreal. I was so moved that when I wrote a college application essay that year during 11th grade for a neighbor who was applying to Cornell, I chose to discuss its effect on me, and how I, well my neighbor, was affected so much by it. Barbarian Invasions is the third film I've seen by Arcand (I also saw Love and Human Remains, a thriller about a serial killer. The only other person I know who has seen it is Liz, but then Liz has seen everything).

A beautiful, thoughtful, emotional, rational, funny, sad, and well-done essay on life, death, love, loyalty, friendship, forgiveness, and human nature. Yes, I realize I could have been a trailer voiceover for any lame Hollywood movie that aspires to humanity and entertainment, but it's much better than that. See it if you can.

***Cold Mountain*** by Anthony Minghella

Speaking of Hollywood aspiring to humanity and entertainment, and falling flat on its face into a pile of horse manure... Melodramatic without a heart, schematic with the gears showing not because of an avant-garde purpose but plain bad filmmaking, Cold Mountain was some hours of my life I could have spent contemplating shit, my navel, lint, or any other fascinating subject. Some have said Nicole Kidman is going for an Oscar with her portrayal of Ada, the preacher's daughter. I never knew that Grinchifying your eyebrows with plastic surgery and signing up for Meg Ryan School of Acting could get you so far, but then, what do I know about the Academy. Remember how Derek Zoolander had one expression, "Blue Ice"? Well, the Coy Giggler has two, "Fluttery Eyelash Blush" a bashful yet passionately furtive glance accompanied by a half smile reserved for Inman, and "I'm Really Tormented Just As Much as Young Werther You Just Can't See It" a thoughtful yet passionately tormented grimace (as much can be channeled through a Botoxed forehead that just won't budge) that's reserved for _thoughts_ of Inman while he's away and she's burning up for his love. Now I'm a sucker as much as anyone for a good love story or a war story, okay, a love story. But this film cannot decide which one it wants to be, and while trying to please Mars Guys and Venus Gals (yes, this movie is for people who buy that 'theory') it gets lost in space and dies of aphyxiation, and this Hal did not miss it at all.

[SPOILER AHEAD] And yes, we all knew that they all wouldn't live happily ever after. How obviously can you foreshadow death, my god!?! "Oh I'm so glad he's back and he's allright; in my vision I had seen him in the snow, collapsing, as crows hovered around, but look, he's just fine!" You know Ada's just asking for it. What makes good Greek tragedy is the one flaw that is the character's undoing; the film tries to make such flawless heroes of Ada and Inman that they become boring and personally I wished they would die and if I had my pick I would have killed Ada instead. No, I'm not just saying that because Jude Law is gorgeous. He can act, that man. I mean, if you're gonna go ahead and see it, you might as well notice how subtle and expressive his face is in the scene with Natalie Portman as he is about the let the young Yankee soldier go and... life happens.

SAVING GRACE: Philip Seymour Hoffman is hilarious as a holy man who can't keep his pants on.

***American Splendor***

I finally got to see this film, and I'm glad I did. Liz described it as "glad to have seen it, would not be sad if I had missed it, and don't rent it." I actually quite enjoyed it and think you should rent it. A familiarity with Harvey Pekar's comics wouldn't hurt, but is by no means necessary as the film is half documentary, half fiction, all human, and thoroughly enjoyable with its bursts of dry humor and amusing commentary. I don't know if I'd like Joyce if I met her in real life, but I loved her incarnation in Hope Davis. I think there's something very perversely right about doing away with the whole dating thing and getting married right away. Sink or swim, if you will.

Much love,

-M

© 2003 Melis Alemdar. Comments? Email me.

/End Flotsam Jetsam Installation 1