The Great Big Adventure
by Melody
Summation: Last time, we met Nicole, the YomaHomos frolicked around in a meadow, and So got beaten up. Badly. This chapter, you will learn about the notorious, cunning, evil, bad guy. Cheers.
Chapter Five - The Dark Is Rising
The YomaHomos were sitting in the shade, underneath some big, bushy trees. So was lying on the ground, looking dazed. You could easily see she needed medical attention. Paula was humming merrily, but then all of a sudden she looked like she had crapped her pants. "I got an idea! Maybe it was because So didn't have enough faith to the magic! Let me just do this one more time..." "No." said Luyba firmly. "Though So may be a bit weird occasionally, okay, she's disturbed, sad, and freaky! (Stacy had raised her eyebrows.) But that doesn't give you the right to try and kill her!" Siana opened her mouth. "Umm guys..." No one heard her, because Paula was being very, very loud. "What d'ya mean? I'm just trying to help So! And it's her fault she doesn't believe in the powers of the moon! " Siana raised her voice a little. "Guys, look, listen to me..." But Luyba's voice drowned hers out. "That's all BS. And anyway, most of the sailors are lesbos anyway!" Siana's voice was wavering now. "Guys! Listen to me..." Paula was red in the face. "Don't talk about them like that!" "Oh yeah?" said Luyba. "The sailors are all sluts anyway. The only reason they have those powers are for people to see their underwear under their excessively short skirts when they fight!!!" That did it. Paula and Luyba were now both talking at once, insulting and hissing. Normally, Siana would have stopped trying to get attention. But today she was very cranky. She had just found out that she had gained one eighteenth of a pound. " I SAID SHUT UP!!! SHUT THE F*CK UP! ALL OF YOU! LISTEN TO ME!!!" This surprised and startled everyone, so they naturally turned around and faced a fuming Siana. "Geez, what happened, Cruella?" muttered Stacy. She was very lucky Siana did not hear her. This time Siana spoke in a calm voice. "It's Carin." Everyone looked over at Carin, who was rolled over in a ball, and seemed to be bouncing slightly.. "Carin, what's wrong ?" asked Luyba. The gang rushed over to Carin and pried her face from her hands. The next sight made everybody gasp. Carin's cheeks were fire-truck red, and swelling up to the size of cantaloupes. Her tongue and lips were also swollen. She seemed to be trying to sneeze, but since her face was swollen so badly, she couldn't open her mouth, so she would rocket backwards a little. "Oh. My. God." Stacy said quietly.
"I wonder what made that happen. " said Luyba. "I think it was the flowers." said Carin. " Definitely the flowers." "Oh, be quiet and drink your medicine." said Nicole. The team had managed to carry Carin back to Nicole's cottage. Nicole had yelled a bit, but then proceeded to brew some medicine for Carin. " Ughh!" said Carin, whose face was almost normal now. "This stuff tastes like baking soda." Nicole looked up. "That's because it has baking soda in it." Carin looked green, which gave a nasty color to her face because she was still a bit crimson. "I'm hungry." Paula said suddenly. "Yeah." said Stacy. "Can you give us some food?" Nicole glared, then started passing out plates. Siana gave the plate back. "Diet." she said firmly. Nicole then started spooning out this sloppy, porridge stuff out of a big pot. "What is this?" asked Stacy. "Gruel." replied Nicole. "Nice warm gruel." "What's it made of?" asked Paula, who seemed to be enjoying it. "Oh, just farm ingredients." said Nicole. "Like fresh oats, wheat, salt, milk, ("I'm lactose intolerant!" Carin said proudly.) , water, pig liver, cinnamon and sugar." "Wait." said Stacy. "Repeat the second to last." "Of course," said Nicole. "Pig liver. I think a little bit of intestine too. Just to give it some consistency and flavor." Everyone that ate it turned a nasty shade of purple and green. "Excuse us." muttered Luyba, her hand clutching her mouth as she ran outside. The others followed suit, except for So, who just leaned back and was sick on herself. Siana just sat there, shaking her head. "Eating pork is against my religion and fattening."
A little while later, after much cleaning up (especially for So), the YomaHomos were back in action... well, sort of. "Come on. Let's go guys." Siana said. "Let's continue to wander aimlessly." "Why don't you guys try to find an evil bad guy to defeat?" asked Nicole. "But you can't find any!!!" said Stacy. "Yeah!" said Carin. "People have too high priorities these days. No strange evil whackos trying to dominate the world with retarded plans. No freaky mutant peoples trying to build their own Mutant-Land. I mean, seriously, this world is too normal and dull!" "Not when you're alive." muttered Siana. "Well, you can defeat Evil Dude." said Nicole. "Who's Evil Dude?" asked Paula. "Evil Dude has beaten me to get the Worst Neighbor Award. He's gotten it five years in a row so far. But to get it, he uses the worst methods to get the award, that even I wouldn't use. He cut a deep canyon in his driveway. He parks in everybody's spaces. But worst of all, he sings Britney Spears, N'sync and Backstreet Boys songs...in the shower!" Everybody gasped in horror. "Oh my god!" cried Stacy. "What kind of sad, sad, man would do that? Only a maniac!" Luyba was utterly shocked. "How could someone be that ruthless?" "I wonder where he got the odd name." said Paula. "Oh, that's not his real name." whispered Nicole. "We don't speak his real name. That name must not be spoken. But since you are the heroes that can save us ("Heroines." Luyba corrected.) , I will tell you. It is...Lord Mo- Lord Mol-.... Lord MoldyWart!" "Geez, that's one funky name." chuckled So. "You will save us, right?" pleaded Nicole. "Of course," said Siana. "No one deserves to go through what MoldyWart is doing." " Then, I wish you all good luck!" exclaimed Nicole. "Farewell, brave YomaHomos.!" So the YomaHomos walked off into the setting sun, off to vanquish Lord MoldyWart.
Okay. Another long chapter done. Believe me, you probably won't see another one for a very long time. Oooh! The plot thickens. As always, give me an earful at the Guest Book (which isn't working, by the way), or email me.
Cookie: Next chapter. Geena and Deeps arrive, and wackiness ensues. You will learn more about Evil Dude, or LORD MOLDYWART.
