The Great Big Adventure
by Melody
Summation: Last time, we learned about Evil Dude, otherwise known as (gasp!) Lord MoldyWart. So now our fav YomaHomos are...(start singing to tune of Wizard of Oz) off to kill the bad guy, the really bad guy of YomaHomos Land!
But of course, all heroes and heroines need weapons and provisions. Thus, in this chapter, you embark on a shopping trip extravaganza! And with the help of two guests..........Geena & Deepa! It'll only be a short appearance though, sort of like a cameo. Nothing like Nicole's role. So continue, dear reader. Enjoy!
Chapter Six- Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
The YomaHomos were walking, again along a yellow brick road. They were singing with their friends, Scarecrow and the Tin man...wait! Wrong story. Anyways, our favorite heroine-addicts, I mean heroines (not that there is much of a difference) were embarking on there quest to vanquish the ultimate Evil Dude, otherwise known as Lord MoldyWart. But, you can't fight this cynical sicko when you're tired and hungry. And that's just the state in which Luyba, Paula, So, Carin, Paula, Stacy and Siana were in.
"Oooh! I don't care how fattening it is, I need food! Real, greasy, oily, million-Calorie, cholesterol and blood pressure heightening (In other words, American) FOOD!" moaned Siana. "Mmm.." So mumbled. "Cauliflowers..." When everybody looked at her, she said defensively, "What?! I like cauliflowers!" ( Note: So is the only person I know that unnecessarily plurifies words and sounds cool doing it. Styrofoams.) Carin flopped down on the ground. "So...so...tired..." (My brother points out Carin would never act like this. I point out people don't care about their "image" when you're exhausted, starving, and traveling with a group of Wonder Woman-wannabes.) Luyba joined Carin on the ground. The others followed suit, except for Paula, who started jumping up and down. "It's another cottage! It's another freaking cottage! Get 'em!" Every ones' eyes went glassy, and they started walking and talking like zombies, chanting "FOOOOOOODDDDDDD....."
"So, you guys are trying to save us?" asked Geena. "Not trying," corrected Luyba. "We're going to." The gang had met two new friends, Geena and Deepa. The duo had happily given them a nice, warm, serving of gruel. "Did any of the ingredients originally come from the internal organs of animals?" Stacy asked. Deepa glared at her. "I don't care." said Paula. "It's yummy." Deepa spooned out some more into Paula's bowl. "Eat some more, then." Paula slurped it up happily. "I have to agree, it's much better than Nicole's." said Siana. "At least it doesn't have the aftertaste of bile." "Bile is in the gall bladder, Siana." Carin shot. "I mean, really." Siana made a funny face. "Yeesh. What crawled up your butt and died?" Carin gave her signature scowl. So interrupted. "Guys, this is no time to fight. Well, it's time to fight the Evil Dude. But anyways, we need provisions and stuffs. I mean, we can't hug him to death, can we?" "We could clobber him with Nicole's gruel." suggested Stacy. Paula looked disappointed. "You know, there's a mall down the road." said Geena. "Yeah, it's hard though, because some of the guys there don't really speak English." muttered Deepa. "Last time we went, this guy who only spoke French was chasing Deepa around. She's just overreacting." "Well, thanks," said Luyba, and the YomaHomos set off again.
"Wow!" gasped Siana. The reason she did was apparent. In front of them was the mall Geena and Deepa had mentioned. It wasn't really huge, just about 3 floors, but it was very modern and new. The glass windows were shiny and crystal-clear. Tall, towering doors were everywhere. The building's outer part was made out of sleek, black marble. Carin's eyes went all dreamy. "Ooooh...a Japanese stationary shop..." So, being girls, they all rushed inside.
"Where can we buy weapons?" Luyba was getting impatient, because every time she asked these questions, the clerk she was talking to would engage in giving her a lecture about self-esteem and confidence. "Excuse me?" inquired the nerdy sales man. He was one of those students who worked for a measly $7 an hour just to buy himself a pair of "in" shoes. Siana responded. "Well, we want something that will really pack a punch. Guns, knives, as long as they'll do a lot of damage. So can you help us out, uh, uh, (Siana looks at his nametag.) Jordy?" "What kind of name is Jordy?" snickered So. Jordy seemed to be looking very nervous. "Uh, uh, uh I, uh, um, no, uh, um, um, no need to be uh violent here, huh, huh, um." Siana looked at him, puzzled. "Come again?" She was about to speak again when a deep voice interrupted her. "Please, zet me elp zem, Jordy. I vil elp zis lovely ladies." The team spun around. In front of them was a tall, lanky man who had a huge mustache. "Bonjour." he purred, in what he hoped to be a seductive voice. Siana slapped her head. "Doh!"
"Oh...my...god." moaned Stacy. The French salesman, who preferred to be called Monsieur Taucalotte, had been showing them around the department store for hours. It was hard understanding him, and he was trying (NOT subtly) to ask Paula out on a date. "Vy, vous like cartoons? Moi, I adore them. Too bad no one vil vatch vith me." Paula looked like she was going to strangle herself with her hair. So far, the only weapons the Yomahomos had were some butter knives, a pack of coasters, some clearance sale jewelery, and lots stickers. They were really tired now, so they decided to tell Mr. Talkalot to go stick his head in a toilet and flush it. So had had enough. "Guys, we're leaving, now." Everyone nodded, except Paula, who was trying to get Monsieur Taucalotte to stop slinking all over her. So marched over to him. "Look, we want to leave, so stop slobbering all over her! She has this really big club-thingy that will beat you till you're hanging on to a millimeter of your life!" Taucalotte looked distraught. "Vat, vous cannot leave! Did not see the sale on peasant tops!" So was very annoyed now. "Look, we don't have time for this. We're off to kill Evil Dude, you see, because we're the Yomahomos!" Monsieur Taucalotte looked confused. "Vat? You have evil poo? You a homo?" So groaned, pulled Paula away, and started walking away. "Wait!" said Stacy. She was holding up a large pot. "This could be a good weapon! What is it, anyway?" The French salesman strutted over. He looked excited. "Aahhh....STU-POD! STU-POD! Big stu-pod! (Stew pot.)" Carin walked over to him. "Hey don't you call her names!" But Taucalotte was too excited. "Goodbye! Goodbye! Goodbye now! (Good buy.)" The team was very baffled. "Umm, I think we should go now." said Stacy. So the Yomahomos walked on.
Another chapter done. Sorry it took so long. Was this chapter alright? I'm afraid it's not too funny. But anyways, I hope you like it. As always, leave your piece in the guestbook, or email me.
Next chapter: (Drumroll) It's The Great Big Adventure Finale! The End to everything! Wow, we've come a long, long, way. Two months. Anyways, since it's the final chapter I can't give you guys much of a cookie. All I can say is that there will be a LOT, and I mean it when I say it, A LOT of guests. Spongebob will be in it. Also, since you're all so patient and loyal, I'll reveal to you the identity of Evil Dude, otherwise known as Lord MoldyWart. It's......................................................................................................................................
Melody has been abducted by evil aliens that have captured her for her supreme genius, high intelligence, sharp wit, and fab coolness. No, please don't start crying for her yet, the aliens will return her safely because, well, who would want to harm Melody?
