Reagan
Jimmy Carter, you rednecked fool,
I’ve called to challenge you to a duel.
Before you answer, let it be known,
I’ve got brother Billy here on the phone.

Billy
Jimmy, I’m sorry, he got me kidnapped,
Don’t come for me, I think that it’s a trap.
He got me at the bar, I woke up to this,
Don’t worry Jimmy, you’ve got too much to risk.

Jimmy
Now Reagan tell me, what’s your game?
Reagan
You’re after a job, I’m after the same.
If you want to see your brother again,
You’ll concede your post to Ronald Reagan.

Jimmy
First the hostages at the Tehran Embassy,
Doesn’t this man have an ounce of sympathy?
I’m coming Billy, so don’t you fear,
I’ll show this cowboy that the buck stops here.

Billy
Oh my golly, I’ve ruined it all,
Jimmy might lose come voting this fall.
Of all the superheroes, I really stunk,
Now he’s risking it all only cause I got drunk.

Reagan
The pieces are set, my plan’s perfection,
They’ll never know what hit ‘em come this election.
Now let’s just see what this farmer’s worth,
Cause actin’ like a jackass is the best damn thing on Earth.

Jimmy
Now to save the world with trusty Billy Beer…
Billy
Worried ‘bout Jimmy, I don’t think he’s thinkin’ clear…
Reagan
That pesky farmer’s gonna know true fear…
ALL
Whatever happens, the buck stops here!!