ÐÁM CUOI (Vietnamese Wedding Ceremony)
BY: NGUYEN MINH TÂM (TOM PREMO)

Brides are selected by the parents in Vietnam but now the younger generation has a little more freedom in selecting their spouses. The decision to marry is of course a family one. When a couple decides to marry, they first ask their parents for permission. Having been granted permission, the couple then visits each set of parents, usually bringing gifts of food or Ruou Gao/Rice Wine.

There are usually two ÐÁM CUOI parties held, one at the future wife's home on the day before the wedding (ÐU QUY) and the second is held at the husband's home on the day of the wedding. At both ceremonies there is a sharing of vows between the elder members of the families but the celebration is NOT a religious event; rather, it is a Vietnamese Custom/Tradition. They are a gathering of friends and relatives which is usually put on by the head of the wife's and husband's families consisting of feasts that are prepared by a caterer or by the family, friends and neighbors. There is lots of food and drinks: Beer and/or Ruou Gao/Rice Wine, and soft drinks.
This is a photo of my friend, Truyen, and his father inviting me to attend the DamCuoi for his siter on 31Dec03. It is customary to formally invite someone to attend a DamCuoi . A written invitation is handed to the individual in a RED envelope which is returned at the time of the wedding ceremony containing the $gift which is then used by the person holding the ÐÁM CUOI, not the Bride and Groom.
The elder/senior male member of the parents' family sometimes wears an Ao Dai at the Dam Cuoi which is the traditional Vietnamese dress that is usually worn by women. I have attended several ÐÁM CUOI's and wore an Ao Dai at those held for my wife's nephews and neices. They were held at her departed father's, Pham Van Ngu, home in a villiage near Go Cong, Tien Giang Province, which is presently occupied by Nam(5) Hai and Sau(6) Hung, his fifth and sixth children and younger brothers of my wife, LY-Huong, Chi Thu(4).

The Minh TÂM Premo Family are World Travelers and we made a trip to Vietnam in April 1998 where we arranged for construction of the White House East, our new home in GoCong. The home was completed in three months (July 1998) and we traveled there, Mar-Apr 1999, (VN Trip#6). Now that he is retired, Minh TÂM travels to Vietnam each year for six-months (November-April).

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26Sep04

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