Sector 14

Welcome to Sector 14

Weird and unexpected things pop up here all the time.The silly and unexplainable because , frankly, I can't explain why I and my chat mates wrote this drivel. Watch out you don't hit a time distortion, I don't have any of those clip-on safety fields handy.

(May 3rd) Here's more artwork by the Fab Fea.

"Hey, you got Sailor Moon in my Babylon 5!"

"Yeah? Well, you got Babylon 5 in my Sailor Moon!"

(Jan. 24th) "An Ode to Crude"

McBari's, McBari's, good food but not tart
the more Vir eats, the more he'll fart
the more he farts the worse Londo feels
so he plugged up Vir's rump before all his meals

Okie dokie....this may be too inside joke-like but my chatmates and I happen to think the word "yak" is particularly funny. Yak meaning to spew, barf, upchuck, etc...specifically cat barf. It all started with Dunx's brainchild, Pumpy the Yakking cat. Anyhoo, you may not think these are too funny but too bad for you, cause when I read these I spew spoo. Say that five times fast.......

"The World of Yakalon 5"

Episode Titles :"The Very Big Yak of Londo Mollari"

"A Yak from the Gallery" "Yak Without End" "Yakalon Squared"

"Yak 17 is Missing" "Whatever Happened to Mr. Yakibaldi" "Yak'ha'dum"

"The Yak Cried Out....No Scratching Post" "Yakabout" "YAKOS"

"Into the Yak" "Yakspace" OR "ThirdYak" ( take your pick)

Characters :

Yak'Ma'Ras....G'Yak.....Yakklenn.......Anla'shyak......Yakkrey Sinclair a.k.a "Yakker One"

Catherine Yakai......Lise Yakton Edgars(Yakibaldi).....Emperor Yaktagia.....Yakko Mollari

Vir Yakko......Yakkier.......Dr. Yaklin........Zyak Yakken.....John Yakidan...Yak Hunters

(Contributed by Yaknor, Yakxie, Yakkess2, Yakmone, and MiraYakklenn)

Bad Babylon Jokes
by MiraDelenn:
Delenn to Sheridan in bed:
Delenn rubbing her crest, "Not tonight John, I'm just bone tired."

Stephen and Marcus on the trip back from Mars:
Stephen: I'll be right back..I need to use the head.
Marcus: Oh? Number one or number two?
Stephen: Number two.....I did Number One back on Mars.

by : unknown

What kind of nuts do Sheridan and Lyta prefer?
Koshews

by Goddess 2 and Simone :
How many teeps does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight....one to change it and seven to hold hands and sing about it. ( singing: "We will all come together in a brighter plaaaace...")

(Oct. 2nd) Here's an evil bit of posting from JMS..I found it quite funny:

Poster: "Is there a Minbari word that means Titanic?"

Trk'voy-ahgr

jms

Another posting from JMS...regarding the MTV show "Sifl and Olly" :

It's a terrific show...sock puppets but one of the funnier programs around. Folks, it's on MTV, usually around 12:30 pacific, 9:30 eastern, and definitely worth a look.

jms

I know...technically this isn't a Babylon funny but I just felt vindicated that he recommended the show because I've been watching it for a few months now and it IS extremely funny. So if you don't believe me believe the Maker! Go watch this. Delenn orders you!
Visit the Sifl and Olly Website

Listen to Pumpy. Do what she says or you could be next! To see more of Pumpy the Comically Offbeat Editorial Cat go here.

Rejected Babylon 5 Toys by MiraDelenn
1.Garibaldi Drinking Game: Drink a shot every time Sheridan sends something "straight to hell." Directions for Jovian Sunspots included.
2.Transformer Delenn-really gets her period!
3.Franklin Doll-stim injector included, lifelike drug withdrawal action!
4.Dead Markab Babies
5.Morden Lollipop Heads-on-a-Stick
6.EarthForce's Easy Bake Poisoned Corned Beef Sandwich Maker
7.Anatomically correct Londo action figure - features all "six"!
8.Spoo-in-a-Can
9.Uncle Bester's Playhouse Video
10.Tickle Me Sheridan "Ba-Bear-Lon 5" teddy - cries "woohoo" when you fondle him.

G2's Top Ten Things Gonna Happen On Bab 5 Season 4 Finale
1. In an embarrassing moment, Lennier's "coming out" is announced over the station's loudspeaker.
2. We find out Franklin was cheating on his husband Marcus with Lennier.
3. Bab 5 is really run by a Jimmy Carter clone and we find out it's Habitat for Humanity.
4. Zack quits his security job to run a taxi service with Alex Rieger.
5. Ivanova decided to go more feminine, so she dyes her hair blonde and starts to use Valley Speak.
6. We find out the Drak is this fat, ugly, hideous smelling chick from Illinois.(She meant me!)
7. We also discover Garibaldi's change in personality is due to the traumatic experience of getting drunk and making out with said Drak. (har-har,G2)
8.Delenn and Sheridan are married in a mass Minbari wedding performed by someone who bears a striking resemblance to Sun Young Moon.
9. JMS is really Zathras!
10. At the end of the show, we see Sinclair naked, soapy, and dripping wet (YUM!) in the shower. In comes Bobby Ewing......
B5 silly sent in by "Ghoztheart"- 11."Sheridan finally learns how to "do it" in those silly reclining Minbari beds."

Goddess2's Top Ten Ways Sinclair Got That L Shaped Scar On His Face
10) Mira/Lyndi (yours truly) scratched him on the face during you know what...(I WISH!)
9) He unfolded his Minbari fighting stick a wee bit too close to his face
8) He was trying to shave his eyebrow but missed
7) He is really running the East Side and is known as "Scarface" Sinclair on Minbar
6) He didn't listen when Delenn said "If you value your life, be somewhere else."
5) He got it warding off his teenage admirers who read about him in Tiger Beat 2260. (yeah right)
4) He got really drunk one night and forgot where exactly that Ranger pin is supposed to go.
3) Gettng it was part of the witness protection program set up by Clark for him.
2) It's not really a scar; he had pudding for dessert two days before and never washed his face.
1) One of Londo's 6 appendages jumped up and bit him

A Babylon 5 Limerick-by Dunx and Mira
There once was a nice Pak'Ma'Ra
Encountered a corpse and said, "Ah,
Right here is my dinner,
Or else I'll get thinner,
too bad it wasn't Byron or Talia."

A Haiku-by G2
"Thank God for Vorlons
Encounter suits are bitchin'
Kosh Naranek-cool!"

Another Silly Limerick-by Flanna
There was a fine girl named G2
Of B5, she loved all the crew
Their haircuts were weird
Sometimes Bruce has a beard
And one guy's as bald as a cue

Rhyme Time- by G2
My hero naked... Bare Sinclair
Lumber Boxleitner.. Spruce Bruce
Green Boxleitner.. Puce bruce
Narn wound mark... G'kar Scar
Pinch Boxleitner ..Goose Bruce
Ivanova during her accident.. Bruisin' Susan
A wooly Ms. Edgars... Fleece Lise
Ed Wasser in a duel... Swordin' Morden
Mollari on a binge...Mondo Londo
Hip Sinclair.. Def Jeff
A purple Shai Alyt... Maroon Neroon

"Flarn" by Flarnstar
(It goes to the tune of "Mickey")

Oh John what a pity you don't understand.
Your flarn is so bad that I'm running out of plans.
Oh no, not another dinner, that's okay.
It's flarn like that, honey.
I really like flarn, not that flarn, what can I do now?

Oh flarn, you're so fine.
Love to eat you all the time.
Hey flarn, hey flarn
Oh flarn, you're so fine.
Just as long as you are mine.
Hey flarn, hey flarn!

When I started this page I swore there'd be no mention of Trek or any Trek comparisons because I really HATE that whole Trek vs. B5 stuff.....it's nonsense. (Besides...no contest! B5!) You sense a big "but" coming on? (refrains from making a Frakes comment :-) BUT...Dunx made this hilarious comparison list and I just had to show it off because it's darn funny. The shots at B5 are just as funny as the shots at "that OTHER show". Dunx spares no one. Check out my favorites, #10 and #9.
BTW....the lists are meant to be read together....i.e. read #10 of the B5 list and then #10 of the Trek list. And NO, don't say duh, cause *I* didn't realize that the first time I read it. Oh don't gimme that look, just shut up and read the stupid lists.

10 Reasons Why B5 is Better than DS9 10 Reasons Why DS9 is Better than B5

10. A continous story arc. Even the most innocuous episodes may have a big impact later. 10. Continuity? What's that? If you miss a DS9 ep, you're not s--- out of luck as to figuring
out what happens later.

9. No one ever gets transferred, killed, or permanently changed on Trek, so the writers have to come up with some pretty unbelievable plot twists for all the major characters to come out ok. 9. B5's had more major cast changes than Melrose Place and MST3K put together. "Hey, who's that new guy? No, not him, the OTHER new guy..."

8. The White Star. 8. The Defiant.

7. The Shadows. 7. The Dominion.

6. Sheridan and Delenn. 6. Worf and Dax, Kira and Odo, Rom and Leeta...

5. Starfuries vs. runabouts. No contest. 5. Sisko's goatee vs. Sheridan's. No contest here either.

4. Lennier may seem like a naive little sweetie, but he'll kick your butt if you don't watch out. 4. Aw, Lennier is just TNG's Data with a head ridge and puppy love.

Is not! Is too!

3. Dr. Franklin. Face it, do you really wanna see Bashir with his shirt off? 3. Yeah, well, at least Bashir's not a druggie.

You take that back! I will not! It's true!

2. Ivanova had permanent PMS and we loved her for it. 2. Kira has permanent PMS and SHE's still on the show, so nyah.

B**ch. Ho.

1. B5 looks like a giant rotating penis in space. 1. What good is a giant rotating penis without a giant rotating...hey, maybe these two shows
should get together...

Click here for original artwork by Feanor!

I used to have the URL for "Babylon Park" here. It was a cross between Babylon 5 (duh) and South Park. Either it's no longer in existence or they've moved and left no forwarding address. I humbly ask pardon of the creators of these pics for showing them but if they ever get their site up again I'll take them down.

Also...I can't remember their name so I'll just say "Pictures Copyright Babylon Park 1998"
And to go with this Fea made a Cartman-esque wav that I added some theme music to.
Bab 5 Cartman
If you've got any silly homemade B5 wavs send some of those out to me too. Giggling is good for your heart...all four of em if you're Centauri.

I was listening to one of my favorite songs on the radio the other day and somehow it reminded me of Lennier's tragic plight. Perhaps this is worth a giggle.
"Sheridan's Girl"
(My apologies to Rick Springfield)

Send in your B5 sillies! Anything you want, humorous or silly, just try and keep it mildly clean.

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10 Reasons Why B5 is Better than DS9	10 Reasons Why DS9 is Better than B5
10. A continous story arc. Even the most innocuous episodes may have a big impact later.	10. Continuity? What's that? If you miss a DS9 ep, you're not s--- out of luck as to figuring out what happens later.
9. No one ever gets transferred, killed, or permanently changed on Trek, so the writers have to come up with some pretty unbelievable plot twists for all the major characters to come out ok.	9. B5's had more major cast changes than Melrose Place and MST3K put together. "Hey, who's that new guy? No, not him, the OTHER new guy..."
8. The White Star.	8. The Defiant.
7. The Shadows.	7. The Dominion.
6. Sheridan and Delenn.	6. Worf and Dax, Kira and Odo, Rom and Leeta...
5. Starfuries vs. runabouts. No contest.	5. Sisko's goatee vs. Sheridan's. No contest here either.
4. Lennier may seem like a naive little sweetie, but he'll kick your butt if you don't watch out.	4. Aw, Lennier is just TNG's Data with a head ridge and puppy love.
Is not!	Is too!
3. Dr. Franklin. Face it, do you really wanna see Bashir with his shirt off?	3. Yeah, well, at least Bashir's not a druggie.
You take that back!	I will not! It's true!
2. Ivanova had permanent PMS and we loved her for it.	2. Kira has permanent PMS and SHE's still on the show, so nyah.
B**ch.	Ho.
1. B5 looks like a giant rotating penis in space.	1. What good is a giant rotating penis without a giant rotating...hey, maybe these two shows should get together...