The rest of the week went more or less the same way, and by the time Potions class came around on Friday, Draco was still in his healing coma, and Harry had single-handedly lost over 250 points from Gryffindor. It seemed that no matter what he did or where he went, he had the unhappy chance of running into Severus, and it always resulted in a loss of points for some ridiculous excuse or another.
Harry wasn't eating or sleeping either, and he hadn't gone back to Sirius and Remus since that first night. When he had woken up, the two were staring into each other's eyes lovingly, oblivious to the fact that Harry had awoken. He didn't want to come between the two again, though he knew that neither of them minded in the least. In fact, they'd probably kill him when they found out he was faking his well being just so they wouldn't insist he stay with them.
He'd even taken to using a Glamour spell on himself just to hide the haunted look his face had taken on. Even he was surprised how bad he looked, especially considering the short amount of time. He'd had nightmares every time he fell asleep, and they were taking a toll on his nerves.
By the time Harry entered the Potions classroom that morning he was a shaking, nervous wreck that jumped at the slightest thing. He wasn't thinking clearly at all, and he couldn't concentrate to save his life. Just the way he should be when facing his most formidable enemy, his ex-lover, Severus Snape.
Harry placed his elbows on the table in front of him and buried his face in his hands. He closed his eyes, trying desperately to stay calm. He couldn't afford to lose anymore points for his house, but he knew he wouldn't get out of this room unscathed. He only hoped someone somewhere would take pity on him.
He didn't look up when Severus charged into the room. Severus wrote the day's assignment on the board and snapped, "Get to work! You'll be working alone today."
Harry groaned inwardly as he pulled out his supplies. He'd been counting on having a partner, because he knew he'd never be able to work on a potion alone, let alone on one as difficult as the one Severus was having them create. He knew that Severus was doing this just to spite him.
He carefully measured out the amount of water he needed, and brought it to a boil. He was doing better than he thought he would until Severus came around to his area. He could feel the menacing presence behind him, just waiting for him to botch something up.
Harry didn't disappoint. He started shaking and he grasped the vial he held a little too tightly. The vial broke, cutting his hands deeply in several places.
"Fifty points for being an idiot, Potter. Go to the hospital wing, and don't waste Madame Pomfrey's time. There are other students there that are in need of medical care more than you."
Harry flinched, but left without saying a word. Over three hundred points in less than one week…even if his house let him live they'd never forgive him. But it didn't really matter to Harry. He'd already lost the one thing in his life that was most valuable.
Harry had his hand healed, checked on Draco, and went back to his room. He couldn't care less if he made it back to Potions or any of his other classes for that matter. He stayed in his room through lunch and dinner, ignoring his godfathers and his friends when they came to get him to at least eat. He fell asleep late that night, only to wake up from yet another nightmare fifteen minutes later. He didn't fall asleep again.
Early Saturday morning, before breakfast, Harry went down to the hospital wing. To his surprise, he found Draco awake, with Severus and Fred sitting beside him.
Draco looked up at Harry and smiled weakly. His smile faded when Harry glared at him, his arms crossed over his chest and his foot tapping impatiently.
Draco's bottom lip started trembling. "Harry, I'm so sorry. I know I promised you that I would stay in the tower. I should have listened to you."
Harry spoke softly, afraid that if he started yelling, he wouldn't stop. "Do you have any idea how angry I am? If you had wanted to leave, you should have told me so when I asked you. You took twenty years off my life when I didn't see you in the tower and another fifty when I found you lying in that hallway. I thought you were dead."
Harry ignored the shocked, gaping fish look Severus was giving the two younger wizards and knelt down by Draco's bed. He reached up and pushed a lock of hair out of Draco's eyes. "If I wasn't so relieved that you're going to be fine, and if I didn't love you so much, you stupid git, I'd kill you right here and now."
A tear slid down Draco's cheek and Harry wiped it away. "Don't cry, Drac. I'm not going to yell or anything. I just need you to know how much you scared and hurt me and all your family and friends. We were so terrified that they'd killed you. I just want to make sure that you never do something so stupid again. That was very un-Slytherin of you. Maybe the Sorting Hat should have made you a Hufflepuff," Harry teased gently. He placed a light kiss on Draco's cheek. "Get some rest, and I'll come visit you later, okay?"
Draco nodded and smiled sleepily at Harry. Harry waved to him as he neared the door.
"You really forgive me?" Draco questioned his friend hopefully.
Harry nodded. "Just make sure you don't do it again, or I'll have Dumbledore force you to help Hagrid during our entire seventh year." Harry walked out of the room and back down to his, his heart a fraction lighter now that he knew Draco was awake.
****
Severus laid his head in his hands as soon as Harry left the room.
The movement didn't go unnoticed by his nephew. "Uncle Sev, what did you do? Harry never ignores you like that. It was almost as if he were afraid of you."
"He probably is. Merlin, what have I done?" he muttered, more to himself than to his nephew.
"That's what I'd like to know!" Draco snapped. "What did you do? Because I know you didn't blame him for my stupidity. Surely you believed him when he told you what happened." Draco waited impatiently for an answer. "Well?"
Severus gazed at Draco, looking both pitiful and heartbroken. "I didn't even give him the chance to explain. I blamed him immediately, and I never bothered to stop and think that you just didn't listen. I didn't listen when anyone else tried to reason with me either. I thought that he'd just allowed you to leave without him because he didn't want to leave his Gryffindor friends."
Draco seethed. If he'd been a dragon, fire would be leaking out of every orifice. "Is that what you really think of him? And here I thought you loved him. I even helped him get together with you, thinking that you were just what he needs. But surely you didn't just blame him. I know you too well to believe that!"
Severus ran his hands through his hair and sighed dejectedly. "I've been cruel. I forced Albus to find him another place to live, and I said terrible things to him. I've taken over three hundred points from Gryffindor and I have gone out of my way to make his life miserable. I cut him off from me completely, except to torment him."
"Oh, is that all?" Draco spit out. "Uncle Sev, honestly. Isn't it bad enough that he felt guilty for something that wasn't his fault? You know Harry, or at least I thought you did. Did it ever occur to you that finding me beaten and r-" Draco swallowed, unable to say the word. "Did it ever occur to you that finding me the way that he did would traumatize him? That he would need your comfort, as much as I'm sure you needed his?"
"I know, I know. You're right. I'm a bloody idiot. I don't know what to do. He'll never forgive me. I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself."
"It would serve you right," Draco muttered sullenly. "And if I can't convince Harry to stay with me, I'll never forgive you. I need him, Uncle Severus. He's the best friend I've ever had, besides you and now Fred, and I need his help. I can't get through this without him. So you need to go down there and try to talk to him, if he'll listen to you."
Severus gazed forlornly at his nephew. "Do you think he'll ever be able to forgive my despicable behaviour?"
Draco thought for a moment then replied, "I believe I know Harry well enough to say that if anyone could forgive your behaviour, it would be him. Will he forgive you? I don't know. It depends on how much he's hurting. I don't doubt that it's going to take time, but you need to start now."
Severus sighed and stood up. "I'll see what I can do. Fred, take care of him, please. He may be all I have left if Harry hates me."
"Of course, Severus. He's in good hands, don't worry. No one will come near him."
Fred and Draco watched as Severus squared his shoulders in determination and glided from the room. Fred turned to Draco. "I'm so sorry this happened, love. I wish there were something I could do to make it better."
Draco let the tears he'd been desperately holding back fall down his cheeks and drip off his chin. "Could you hold me, please?" he whispered.
Fred nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He carefully slid onto the bed next to Draco and wrapped his arms around his boyfriend. When Draco flinched and instantly stiffened, he tried to get up.
"No, please don't go. I know you're not going to hurt me. My heart knows this, but my body doesn't. I want you to. I need you to. Please."
Fred pulled Draco closer and the blond laid his head on his boyfriend's chest. After a while, Fred felt Draco start to relax.
"I love you, Fred," Draco whispered sleepily.
"I love you, Draco. Get some sleep if you can, love."
* * * * * * * * *
Severus stood outside the door of Harry and Draco's room. Summoning up his all of his courage, he opened the door. He immediately found Harry, who was sitting on the couch and staring at the fire.
"Harry, can I talk with you?" Severus asked, uncharacteristically timid. He'd already scared the boy out of his wits during the week, and he didn't want to scare him now.
He received no response from the wizard on the couch. Harry continued to stare into the fire, as if he hadn't heard the older man address him.
Severus sat down on the couch next to Harry, but not close enough to touch him. "Harry, I'm so sorry I blamed you. My behaviour was horrid this past week and I apologize for that as well. I have no excuse for what I've done. I know I've hurt you, probably so much that you'll never be able to forgive me, but I need you to know that I was wrong, and that I'm sorry."
Severus stared pleadingly at the young man, but he still received no response. He placed a hand on Harry's. "Please, Harry, say something…anything."
"Sod off," Harry said dully. "Get out. I don't want you here, not now. I'm tired. I haven't slept or eaten in days. I've felt nothing but guilt and pain all week. I've had nightmares more horrible than any I've ever experienced before. Now you come in here and say you're sorry for throwing me out of your life and tormenting me, and I'm just supposed to forgive and forget? I needed you, and you threw me away. You should be happy. You've been trying to fight our relationship all along, and now you have the perfect reason. Now go away. I want to be alone." Harry delivered his response without ever raising his voice and without looking away from the fireplace. He didn't even pull his hand away from Severus's.
Severus pulled his hand away. "I don't blame you, Harry. I wouldn't forgive me either. I don't think I will ever be able to forgive myself. You're right, you know. I wanted to force you away, so that you'd have a normal life that I thought you couldn't have with me. I was wrong. I didn't realize how much I truly loved you. Now it's too late. I can't tell you how sorry I am."
Harry sighed and stood up. He fought off the dizziness that had been plaguing him for the last two days and headed for his bedroom door. "So am I. If you will excuse me, Professor Snape, I need to lie d-" He never finished the sentence, for at that moment he blacked out and fell to the floor.
Severus ran to his student and picked him up. "Harry! Harry, wake up!" he said, shaking the Gryffindor slightly. "Damn! What's wrong with you? This is all my fault," he growled as he quickly headed for the hospital wing.
* * * * * * * * *
Draco awoke abruptly when he heard the door to the hospital wing burst open. He watched his uncle rush in with an unconscious Harry.
"What happened to him?" Poppy asked, coming from her office.
"I don't know. We were talking and then he went to lie down, but he fainted before he entered his bedroom. He'd said something about not eating or sleeping."
"That's odd…he doesn't look any worse for wear," Poppy muttered.
Draco spoke up. "Maybe he has a Concealing Charm on himself, like you had on your body, Uncle Sev."
Severus pointed his wand and said, "Finite Incantatum," and the spell came off.
Severus felt like crying when he looked at Harry. He was pale and a bit thinner, but it was the dark circles under his eyes that gave him such a haunted look. "This is all my fault," he whispered to himself.
"Yes it is," Draco agreed sullenly. His friend was hurting, and he and his uncle had caused it. He was as angry with himself as he was with his uncle. "It's my fault as well. Now we've just got to fix this."
"Well, he's not as bad off as all that. He's a little malnourished from not eating for a week, and he's exhausted, but it's nothing that a few potions and a few days rest can't cure," Poppy assured them. "However, he needs to be sleeping and eating. Could you please call Sirius and Remus down here, Severus?"
Severus went to the fireplace and called for them. They came into the hospital wing immediately.
"What's wrong with Harry?" Sirius demanded. He and Remus sat on the bed next to Harry and watched as Poppy fed their unconscious godson eyedroppers full of various potions.
"He's not been eating or sleeping, and it's finally caught up with him," Poppy told them. "Did you know that Harry was having problems?"
"The night of Draco's attack he came to us because of a nightmare, but he didn't come back after that. Whenever we questioned him, he assured us he was doing better. He didn't look like he does now," Sirius told the mediwitch.
"He used a Concealing Charm," Severus muttered, sitting on the edge of Harry's bed.
"I'm sure that this is all your fault," Sirius snapped. "I've seen the way you've been treating him, and you're making him move. I would have ripped your throat out the moment I saw you after Harry told us you blamed him, but Albus made me promise that I would let the two of you work this out yourselves. Lot of bloody good that did!"
"You're right," Severus agreed. "It's all my doing, and you can say whatever you like, Black, because I deserve it."
Sirius let the opportunity to tell Severus exactly what he thought of him pass by, so shocked he was by the Potion master's acquiescence in both his demeanour and his readiness to take all the blame. He could see the pain and the self-loathing in Severus's eyes, and he couldn't bring himself to harm the man further. So instead, he simply glared at the man. He'd just let Severus beat himself over the head with his own stupidity.
"There!" Poppy said. "He'll be sleeping for a while. You can stay, if you wish, but only if you behave. I have other things I have to do. I'll be back to check on him in a while. We'll give young Harry here something to eat once he's awake, which won't be for quite a while. Draco, how are you feeling, dear?"
Draco raised his head off Fred's chest long enough to say, "I'm fine, I think. Just a bit tired and maybe a little hungry."
"I'll go to the kitchen and bring food back for everyone." Remus got up and looked at his lover. "Siri, would you help me?" Sirius reluctantly left Harry's side and followed his mate out the door.
"So, how did it go? I mean, before he passed out." Draco asked.
Severus relayed their conversation, and when he looked at his nephew, Draco had a thoughtful look on his face. Draco smiled slightly. "I think you may have a chance yet, as miraculous as it may seem. Let me talk to him and see what he's feeling. He's hurt and not ready to forgive, but I know how much he loves you. You'll have to give him time, though. Give his heart time to mend, and then after he's forgiven you, you'll still have to grovel for a good month or so."
Severus nodded and slid closer to Harry. He brushed away strands of Harry's unruly hair and placed a kiss on the small lightning bolt scar. "I'm sorry, love. I'll make this better, no matter what I have to do," he whispered into Harry's ear.
He was still sitting there, stroking Harry's hair and holding his hand, when Sirius and Remus returned. Sirius growled but said nothing. He and Remus served up the food and Sirius handed a plate to Severus, who shook his head.
"Look, Snape. Harry already feels horrible enough as it is. If you don't eat and end up in here with him, do you think he's going to feel any better? Now eat or I'll shove this food down your throat." Sirius thrust the plate under the other man's nose, and Severus reluctantly took it.
Severus picked at the food, not really in the mood to eat, but when Sirius wouldn't budge until he ate something, he slowly began to eat. He ate about half of what was on his plate before setting it down. He immediately resumed his watch over Harry. Sirius sighed, but took the plate away.
Remus sat back and watched the way Severus stroked Harry's hair and held his hand. If he didn't know any better, he would think that Severus felt something more than friendship for his unconscious student. He didn't want to read too much into the gesture, though. If he was wrong and discussed this with Sirius, it may end up hurting a lot of people, especially Harry.
The three professors, Fred, and Draco sat in relative silence for hours, only a few whispers breaking the silence every once in a while.
Ron and Hermione showed up sometime during the afternoon and stayed for a while. They chatted quietly with Fred and Draco, throwing concerned glances at Harry every now and again, hoping that he would wake up soon.
Severus kept an eye on his nephew as well, but he was in excellent hands with Fred. Fred doted on him and did whatever was asked of him. When he wasn't doing something for Draco, he sat by his boyfriend's side, holding him like he'd lose him if he let go. Draco seemed uncomfortable at times, but any time Fred made to move away, Draco would beg for him to stay.
Finally the hour grew late and Poppy threw everyone except Fred out of the hospital wing. She would have thrown Fred out as well, but when she saw the frantic look on Draco's face when the redhead tried to get up, she made the exception.
Both Severus and Sirius looked like they wanted to hex her, but she stayed strong. Sirius, she knew, would do nothing but fret and worry all night. And Severus, well, she had heard the earlier conversation between the two Slytherins, and she didn't want to see Harry upset by his presence, should he awaken soon.
Once everyone left, she turned out the lights. She checked on Draco and Harry one more time to make sure that there was nothing that they needed. She left Draco a Sleeping potion, just in case, and left the three boys alone.
After Poppy left, Draco made Fred climb underneath the blankets with him. Draco snuggled up close and forced himself to relax. Fred held his victimized boyfriend close as Draco cried himself to sleep.
* * * * *
Harry awoke the next morning to the wonderful smell of bacon and ham and potatoes drifting through the room. He could hear whispers coming from the bed next to him. He opened his eyes and blearily looked in the direction the voices were coming from.
"Hand him his glasses," Draco said quietly. A dark figure loomed over him and helped him place his glasses on his face. Harry looked up at Severus and then dropped his eyes almost immediately. Severus backed away and sat down in his chair.
"How are you feeling, Harry? Are you hungry?" Fred asked.
Harry's stomach answered before him, letting out a loud rumble. Draco sniggered and Harry smiled at him sheepishly. "I think that is a 'yes'."
"That's good, because Severus brought you enough food to last you all week," Fred quipped.
Severus brought a tray to Harry and set it on his lap. Harry looked up shyly and said, "Thank you, Professor Snape." He quickly looked back down again.
"You're welcome. I'd best be going. I have papers to grade. I'll see you in a while, Draco. Get some rest, Harry." Severus whispered the last part almost inaudibly, but Harry caught it. He didn't look up again until the older wizard was gone. He ate what he could, until his stomach started to protest. He then set his tray on the table beside his table.
"Fred, love, do you think I could talk to Harry alone for a bit?" Draco asked when Harry was finished eating. Fred nodded and got up. He placed a light kiss on Draco's forehead and said, "I'll go to the store and see if George still has the place in one piece. I'll be back in an hour or two."
When Fred left the room, Draco carefully stood up and made his way over to Harry's bed. "Move over."
Harry moved over and Draco slid under the blanket with him. He embraced Harry. "I'm sorry."
"For what?"
"For everything. All of this is my fault, everything that's happened. If I had stayed, none of this would be happening."
Harry wrapped his arms around Draco tightly. "Draco, it's not your fault. Yes, you should have stayed, but those vile bastards that have the nerve to call themselves humans caused all this. They just couldn't leave anything alone. Well, they're out of the school, and after the trial they'll be rotting in Azkaban for the rest of their lives, hopefully. But what happened between your uncle and me is not your fault. He's the one who broke up with me. He's the one who's treated me horribly. It was his decision to act like this, and he made that decision all by himself. And don't blame yourself for my condition. That's my fault. I should have asked for help. I should have taken Sirius and Remus up on their offer to stay with them."
Harry looked at Draco curiously. "How did I end up in here anyway? I remember your uncle coming down and talking. I know I said something, but I don't remember what, and then I woke up here."
"You passed out. Uncle Sev said you told him to sod off. You told him about the nightmares and not sleeping or eating, and you told him that he should be happy he was rid of you, since he'd been trying to do just that."
"Oh. I don't remember that. I'm sure I did say those things, though. I've been feeling like that all week. How long have I been in here? My timeline is a bit fuzzy."
"Since yesterday morning. As soon as you fainted, Uncle Sev picked you up and carried you here. He spent all day holding your hand and stroking your hair. Sirius had to force him to eat."
"Sirius let him stay?" Harry looked absolutely stunned. "He's been so angry with him, I can tell."
"Apparently Dumbledore asked him to let you and Uncle Sev work this out yourselves. I overheard Sirius and Remus talking yesterday. He agreed to do so, reluctantly. I can tell he'd like nothing better than to hex Uncle Severus. I think Uncle Severus would have felt better if he had hexed him. Harry, he's really sorry. He is. He's even put back all the points he took from you. Ron came in and told me so. Oh, and Ron said to tell you that he'd be bringing you Chocolate Frogs when he returned."
"Se- Snape put the points back? Why?"
"He said that they were taken away out of anger and that you didn't deserve for them to be taken away. He said it wasn't fair. He does want you back, but he's afraid he's lost you forever. Harry, I know that he loves you, more than anything. Yes, he fucked up big time, but it was a mistake, as huge as it was. He's too protective of me, and that clouded his judgement. He knows how wrong he was. Please, don't let him get away from you. I know you love him, so much. You're perfect for each other, as my clueless Uncle is now realizing. Don't let that slip away because he's an idiot."
"I don't want to, but what he did hurt me so much," Harry said, a tear trickling down his cheek.
Draco wiped the tear away and said, "I know it does, love, but fight what you're feeling. I know that your first instinct is to run. Bloody hell, I feel like running for my life whenever anyone touches me, especially Fred. I know he won't hurt me, but I can't help but think of what was done to me. They raped me, Harry. And now I have to fight off the instinct to run away just so I can be close to Fred. It would be too easy for me to push him away, so that I don't have to deal with this. But I love him so much, and he's worth fighting for. So is Uncle Sev, and you know it."
"I know, Draco, but I need some time. Would you please just ask him to lay off for a while. Let me have some time to tend my wounds. When I'm ready, I'll come and find him."
Draco nodded. "Okay, I'll tell him. Just weigh your options very carefully, Harry. Don't do something that you'll end up regretting for the rest of your life."
"I won't. I'll make sure of what I want before I do anything. When's Madame Pomfrey letting you out?"
"She's letting us both out later on tonight, but I won't be able to go back to class until next Monday. You can't go back until this Tuesday. She said that you have to rest tomorrow, no buts about it."
Harry sighed. "Fine. I'll just catch up on the homework I didn't do last week."
"Good. You can help me with mine." Draco looked at Harry with a troubled gaze. "Harry, you won't leave me, will you? I know that Uncle Sev wanted you out, but he really doesn't want you to leave, and I can't do this without you. Please don't leave."
Harry looked into his friend's tearful eyes and smiled. "I won't. I can't leave you now, especially when you give me that look," he teased. Draco beamed at him, and then the two snuggled together and fell asleep.
When Fred walked back into the hospital wing two hours later, he smiled at the sight before him. He was glad that Harry would be there for Draco. Draco needed all the friends he could get right now.
Fred hopped onto Draco's bed and opened the book he'd brought with him, quietly reading and waiting for Draco to wake up.
* * * * *
"Come in, Uncle Sev," Draco said when his head of house stuck his head in his nephew's bedroom door. Draco and Fred were going over some of his homework that Hermione and Ron had collected for him.
Severus stepped inside and closed the door. Draco had asked to speak with him when Harry wasn't present, and so he had waited until he was sure Harry had gone to nap. "What can I do for you, Dragon?"
"I talked to Harry yesterday, and he wants you to back off until he's ready. He says he needs time for his wounds to heal, and he needs time to think. He said when he's ready to talk, he'll come find you."
Severus sighed. "Do you really think I have any hope?"
Draco shrugged as he flipped through his Transfiguration book. "I can't say for sure, but I think so. It's just hard for him, especially since you were his first-" Draco slapped his hand over his mouth and mentally bashed himself in the head. Fred smiled wryly and fought the urge to laugh.
Severus just looked confused. "His first what? What are you muttering about, Draco?"
Draco repeatedly hit his head on Fred's shoulder. "I shouldn't have said anything. It wasn't my place. He's going to kill me."
"What? I know you cannot be speaking of sex, because at the party he said that he and Fred-"
"He meant that he'd had sex with me…he never, um, I mean, I never…" Fred floundered for a way to say what needed to be said delicately.
Draco saved him the trouble. "Harry had never been the bottom half of their little trysts and since you and Fred were the only ones he…" Draco trailed off, allowing his uncle to finish the sentence mentally.
Severus paled a little as the realization dawned. "Harry had never been taken before," he whispered.
Draco nodded. "Yes. He gave that gift to you. Don't blow it if you're given another chance. And please don't tell him I told you. He wanted to tell you himself. He'll kill me."
"I won't. All right, I'll keep my distance until he's ready. Thank you, Dragon."
Draco crawled over to the other side of the bed and hugged his uncle. "You're welcome. I love you, Uncle Sev."
"I love you, too. Now do some homework, but don't overdo anything. You're still weak." Severus kissed Draco on the forehead and went to his room, where he flopped onto his bed and tried to figure out a way to make things for his family better.