Adoption,
through my eyes...
This is not a page on my adoption, rather of my sister's. If you've read my Life page or other things i have written on my little sister, you've read that she was put up for adoption at birth. I was 3 years old at the time. It was Christmas of 1976. We were living in North Carolina then and I remember when mom went out the door to go to the hospital. I remember knowing that she was going to have a baby cause I had told her something along the lines of "Bring the baby home soon" when she left.
Well, I never did get to see my sister that Christmas. By the way, she was born on my mom's birthday of December 24th. Instead I got a baby doll that came with a wicker bassinette. I'd told mom that "she could be our baby".
Now, you may be wondering, why was she put up for adoption? Well, there were a lot of reasons, and some of them I'll leave out for mom's personal reasons, but the main ones were, she was 20 the day Kimberly was born, she already had me and was not married, was trying to grow up herself, and didn't feel that she'd done a very good job so far and was afraid that she wouldn't be able to give her the life she deserved, or even be able to provide for all of us. So, she went to a family in Cleveland, Tennessee that she chose herself. She wanted to make sure that it was a Christian couple that she would go to......mom was in fact a pastor's daughter.
My Aunt Saundra was there with mom as she handed her baby girl over to the pastor that would take her to Kimmy's new parents. She asked him to please tell them that she did love her little girl. She told me the only part of Kimmy she got to see was the top of her head and that she remembers the full tufts of black hair. She named her by the way....Kimberly Dawn. Amazingly they kept the name for her too.
My family tried when she was young to see her at church assemblies, to take a picture so that we could see what she looked like, but her family didn't want that, so contact pretty much broke after a few years.
I always knew of her, and where she went to...at least originally. And I always felt that I would see her one day, somehow. It's funny how you imagine it's going to be to meet your sister, I know a lot of people think the adoptee would think of these things, but I thought about it for years! I always figured I'd go to find her and when I did, would come up to her and just say..."are you Kimberly? Well, I'm your older sister" but of course it didn't work like that. :)
We
Meet...
When I was 22 years old I finally had the break I needed. Somebody in our family found out where she was going to college at. It happened to be in the very town she had lived in all her life. So, by research of going to the library and getting the phone numbers of the college, i was able to get her address at the college. (they wouldn't give any personal info, only a box number) So, there I sat, trying several times to write the first letter to my younger sister, who I didn't know if she knew of me or not! I sent a picture of our family (me, husband and our 5 month old son) and sent it off.......and waited! I guess I expected an answer within 3 days or something, but it actually took about a week. I had put my number in the letter in case she wanted to call me, but of course I'd forgotten about that and had been checking my mail the whole time! So when I got a call one evening and a voice I didn't recall asked if I was Regina Scott, I was totally taken aback when she said "this is Kimmy. Your little sister Kimberly". I was floored! My brain went blank about everything that I'd ever wanted to ask her and I had to get my bearings!
We ended up talking about an hour or an hour and a half and found out that we had a lot in common! From both being artists, and liking cheese and mexican food and other things. It was great! We made plans to work on us coming down to see her one weekend. My husband works sometimes in Cleveland so he knows his way around pretty good, so that was a plus in my favor. :)
We ended up seeing each other in March of 1996 for the first time. We went to meet her at her friend's dorm and took them out for mexican. It seemed like the time flew by for us, when I first seen her, I said "she looks just like mom!" (which is true) We got pictures and stuff and even went back to our hotel room so that she could call mom and talk to her! Later mom told me she just bawled afterwards.
We're actually built alot alike too, we're the same height and she's the size I was in high school, though, i think we look about the same size now since I've lost alot of weight. She takes after my Grandpa's side (the Whitman side) of the family, just like my mom and brother, while I take after my Grandma's side (the Bird side).
Now....
She now has a daughter of her own (who is 7 weeks younger than my daughter) . We can keep in touch so much better these days thanks to email! She's a hard worker and I'm truly impressed with her.
I hope that I'll get to see her again soon. We got to see each other this summer down in Nashville where she'd come up to help with singing in a church. (She's a fabulous singer!!!!) so I hope it won't be to long before I get to see her again!
I am SO happy that I have her to call my sister. Even if we didn't get the chance to grow up together, she's there, and I can get ahold of her and we can share now.
My Point...
So.......In saying all that I have, my point is, if you or someone you know are thinking of getting rid of a pregnancy.....DON'T please. There are so many couples in the states that cannot have a baby on their own, and can give that child the home and love they need. Yes, I and my mom would have loved to have had her with us for our whole lives, but the fact is, at least she is alive! We know her now and she has meant so much to so many people!
Don't take away that chance for that baby. Let them have their potential, let them have the life that they've been blessed to have. You never know what they may become, how much they may touch the people around them. Or how much you may wish to see them. If you kill them, they will never be able to answer that phone or write that letter one day.
Think about that.....please.
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