But though our MTV-watching is thus a little sparse, we do like Beavis and Butthead. They're inane, moronic, and yet remarkably like a few guys I knew in Grammar School. So naturally we watched them a lot. And so, quite naturally as well, as we drove down the highway listening to the local oldies stations [free plugs and shouts out to WDRC-Hartford, WKHL-Stamford, WCBS-NEW YORK], we'd interject our own B-n-B commentary, as those nuts do to '90s music videos. Most were no more than throwaways--''heh heh, did he just say 'butt'?''--some were far better. Those are the ones I plan to reproduce here, as I remember them.

Hopefully you know the songs, and so know the parts we were referring to. Just picture a couple of whacked-out '90s-style teenagers sitting around listening to Murray the K on WINS or something...note that some of these are a little crude, but that's what B'n'B's all about. enjoy!

(Note--BH is Butthead, B is Beavis)

Love is Strange, Mickey and Sylvia

BH--Huh huh...Hey Beavis!
B--Uh...yeah Butthead?
BH--H-how do you call your loverboy?
B--Uh....Hey, SHUT UP Butthead!
BH--Huh huh...and if he doesn't answer?
B--I said Shut Up Butthead!
BH--And if he, uh, still doesn't answer?
B--Heh heh, SHUT UP! [singing] Butthead....oh, Butthead, dumb*ss Butthead, I'll kick your *ss...

I'm Ready, Antoine ''Fats'' Domino

BH--Huh huh...hey, Beavis! That fat man said he was ready, willing, and, uh, able to, like, rock and roll all night!
B--Heh heh...rock and roll...
BH--He wants to get it on.
B--Heh heh...FATMAN!
BH--Fats is groovy.

It's Alright, Adam Faith--the intro is playing

B--What the hell is this!? C'mon, Butthead, change it.
BH--No way, Beavis, I know this song. Huh huh. It's gonna rock pretty soon.
B--Nah, nah, I don't think so.
BH--No way. Hold on a minute.
B--[unfortunately prescient of Herman's Hermits] [singing] HOLD ON! HOLD ON!
BH--What did you say, Beavis?
B--Ohhhh...Nothing. [pause] That's enough! Change it! Put on WABC!

The Great Pretender, The Platters

[Just laughing and gay like a clown...] BH--Huh huh...huh huh...
B--Heh heh hehe, yeah, heh heh
BH--He's gay like a clown...

Hey! Baby, Bruce Channel

BH--Huh huh...Hey, baby.
B--Yeah. Hey, bebe. Ah-I wanna know...
BH--Hey, baby...
B--Ah, would you, like, be my girl and stuff? Heh heh heh heh...

I Met Him on a Sunday, The Shirelles

[Then I dated him Wednesday...]
BH--WHOA!!!
B--Uh, what, Butthead?
BH--She did him on a Wednesday!
B--Uh, really?
BH--That's what she said, Beavis...
B--Really? Like, that's what she said?
BH--Uh...I think so.
B--That's pretty cool. She did him on a Wednesday?
BH--She's easy...huh huh huh huh...
B--We should meet more chicks on Sundays...

Come On Down to My Boat, Every Mother's Son

[chorus]
B--What do you think all that means, Butthead?
BH--Uhh...I think, it was, like, 60s talk for, uh, you know, doing it.
B--(over "she smiles so nice...)Oh yeah. They had lotsa words for, you know, doing it.
BH + EMS--Uh huh.
B--Like 'groovy.'
BH--Yeah. And, like, 'I wanna hold your hand.'
B--Yeah. They put one of those into every song back then if, like, you look hard enough and stuff.

Margaritaville, Jimmy Buffett

JB--Nothing to show but this brand-new tattoo,
But it's a real beauty, a Mexican cutie,
BH--WHOA!
JB--How it got here, I haven't a clue.
B--He's drunk.
BH--YES!

These Boots Are Made For Walkin', Nancy Sinatra

NS--Somethin' you call love, but confess...
BH--I confess this sucks.
B--Yeah! Change it. (kkkhhhh)

More hopefully to come...